Enders

I go back to my room, eyes stinging from watching Regeit's video logs too late into the night. Xavier is sitting on the bed, sketching in his book. I try to peek at his drawing, but he hugs the sketchbook to his chest.

"You should get some sleep. Especially after being sick." I remind him, joining him on top of the bed.

"I'm not tired." He shakes his head.

"How are you dealing with Naeve being your mom?" I ask.

"Does she qualify as a mother?" He laughs.

"Well, she's trying harder than Polois." I shrug.

"You don't know what my life was like." He says coldly. "What I did just for respect. Everyone thought I was over it. But I never forget."

I try as hard as I can not to be scared by his ominous statement.

"I think she's a nice person."

"Nice person?" He rolls his eyes. "I'm sure you'd think someone who ruined your life is a nice person."

"You're blowing things out of proportion." I touch his shoulder. He shakes my hand off.

"You're acting weird." I finally admit. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He nods.

"Don't lie to me, please." I frown. "I care about you. I want you to be able to confide in me."

"Go to sleep, Rowan. It's getting a bit late." He bites his lip.

"Put down your art. I'm not sleeping until you are." I grab his wrist.

"Let go of me." His eyes widen. I hold his other wrist.

"Talk to me." I beg.

"Let go! I won't let you hurt me!" He looks around wildly.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I say softly. He regulate his breathing.

"Go to bed or I'll knock you out." He threatens. Nothing about it seems like an exaggeration.

"I can't sleep with you like this." I let go of his wrists, in case that's what's upsetting him.

"Then you don't have to see me like this!" He snaps. His voice and my heart break almost simultaneously. I wish I had better control of crying. I look down and rub my reddening eyes.

"Sorry..." I whimper.

"Oh, dak." Xavier whispers. "I'm so sorry. I was just really stressed, okay? I promise it won't happen again."

"I need to recover first." I shy away from his hand. He grabs my sides and jams his lips against mine. I instinctually push him away. "Stop! I said I needed time to recover!"

"Just let me make it up to you." He places his hand on mine.

"Tomorrow, okay? I'm too tired for this." I stand up and walk out the door.

"You're perfect! I love you!" He calls.

I don't answer.

I march down the hall. I wipe my wet eyes and stop in front of Maggie's door.

I knock.

"What are you doing? It's way too early." She yawns.

"Can I come in?"

She looks surprised.

"Sure."

I make a nest of spare pillows and blankets on her floor.