Logan & James

Something is wrong

"Shortly after you got here, I think. It's okay, though. You look tired. You sure you're okay?" James innocently watches out of the window and avoids Logan's gaze. Logan instead lifts his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. You're fine. I have to go now. Even if you're fine, please go to bed as soon as you get home." Logan doesn't wait for an answer. He gives James a quick but loving kiss on his lips and leaves, his jacket still on James shoulders. He would get that later, because he ends up caring for him anyway.

* * *

After James gets home, he's defeated. His body aches, he feels incredible hot and is so, so exhausted. He has tried to sleep off some off his symptoms but right after he woke up an hour ago, he was hit badly. His head swims, the light is to bright, he can't breathe through his nose properly and, what is the worst, he can't move. His body just hurts. It feels like it's on fire and this is not a feeling he's used to. Especially not when he has a fever like he knows he has. Yes, his body would ache but not like this. James feels panic creeping up in his mind. Something is wrong. It's not normal. Why the heck can't he move his body? A whimper leaves his lips, and he tries to look around. His phone. He needs his phone. Logan can come over; he can look over him and take him to ER if necessary.

James finds his glasses first. They are on the pillow next to his head, so he tries to move his arms. Very slowly he manages to get his right arm up, above his stomach and higher to his head. He has to use so much strength that he feels sweat dripping down his forehead. Somehow, he manages to grab the glasses and to push them on his nose. The panic bickers in his head, and he feels his chest get smaller. He's on a brink of an asthma attack, he's aware of that. James spots his mobile on the coffee table and tries to stretch his left arm into the direction, but all he can manage is to free his arm from the blanket and let it fall down to the ground. Now he panics even more. How is he supposed to call help if he can't even get his phone?

He tries to take a deep breath but his chest is closing up and instead of bringing air to his lungs he is thrown into a nasty coughing fit which leaves him with even less air as he already has. His thoughts are running wild in his head. With much time and energy, he manages to get on his left side, so he at least can face his phone. Just at that moment the ringing sounds shrill trough the room. He gets a call, but he still can't move far enough to reach it. He tries and tries and just as his fingertips manage to touch the edge of the table the mobile goes silent again. At this rate, James has already difficulties to steady his breathing. He tries to stretch a little more. He can feel his phone just at the moment as he feels himself falling. He lands on the carpet, his stomach first and groans. He hits his head on the ground and now has a headache, too. Tears prickle at the rim of his eyes. He is scared and afraid of how the things are and frustrated. He needs help soon. His phone chimes again and James doesn't know when or how he manages it, but he finds himself with the phone in his hand and pushing the green button. "Hey, sweetheart. It's me. Were you sleeping? Hope I didn't wake you up." James barely hears Logan talk to him. He is too occupied to steady his breathing, which now is impossible because he's full in the asthma attack. He wheezes Logan's name, but he seems to not hear him because he keeps talking. "I'm at the store and buying you some stuff like fever reducers and coughing syrup. So, I wanted to ask if you need some decongestant and juice, too." James can't concentrate on what Logan just asks. His breathing gets heavier and faster, and he feels himself wheezing loudly now. He just whimpers. "Logan. H-elp –ee. H-help."

"James? What's wrong? Can you hear me?" James closes his eyes and tries to focus even more on breathing and at the same time he tries to make out Logan's voice. "Help m-me-!"

"Okay. Shit. Do you have an attack? Eh... I'm on my way. James listen closely. Open the door for me, okay? And try to use your inhaler. I'm near your place, so I should be there in a few minutes. It's going to be okay." James wants Logan to stay on the phone, to not let him by himself again, but he hangs up as soon as he said his last words. James is crying now. He is in pain and he is alone. Luckily, he feels his arms move easier as he tries to crawl to the entrance of his dorm room. Black spots show up at the side of his eyes, and he feels himself panicking even more and how his strength leaves him too fast. Why is this happening to me?

* * *

"James? What's wrong?" He just hears wheezing breathing. "Please, honey. Can you open the door?" He knocks carefully on the wood of the entrance door, but still, there's no sign on moving inside. "James. Come on. You need to breathe. Use your inhaler. It should be in the first drawer on the left." Now there's some shuffling of fabric, but the shallow breathing never gets to the door and suddenly there's a loud thumb. For a second everything is silent but then the breathing increases to something very concerning. Logan pushes his ear against the wood to hear closely at his friend's breath. He needs to go in there as soon as possible. At this rate James can't calm himself down anymore. He needs help and Logan can do that, if it isn't for this fucking door that blocks his way. "James. I know you can do it. Try to open the door. I'm right here to help you. You just need to let me in. You can do this right?" He hears some more shuffling, slower and for most of all, exhausted sounding. He can't define how movement can sound exhausted but just by hearing it he knows James is at his limit. He can hear fumbling on the door and then the lovely sound of the door lock. He pushes the door open as wide as he dares in case that James is right behind it. And indeed, James is slumped on the ground. Eyes closed, sweat clinging on his forehead and a dark red blush on his cheek from his fever. What really concerns him is the breathing which is now like little slow sounding puffs, which barely get any air into his lungs. "Ah shit, hold on." He grabs the inhaler from the drawer and crouches beneath his lover. "Come on, James. I know it's hard but you have to move a little. Try to lay on your back for me. I'll help you." It takes some strength from James to turn, so much can Logan tell just by watching him. He guides him on his back and then moves him up a bit, so he's laying against his chest. He pushes the inhaler between James lips. "Deep breaths. You can do it." But James doesn't do any attempts to breathe. He looks already on the edge of consciousness. His glasses lie abandoned on the floor beside him, and he can barely hold his eyes open for more than a second. "Sweetie. Don't pass out on me. Keep on breathing you hear me? You got so far. Just this one thing to go." James does take in a little air which isn't enough to reach his lungs fully but it's a start. "Good. Very good. Can you do one more for me? I know you can. You're strong. Once more. I promise it will get better than." Logan strokes his thumb of his free hand above James cheek to ground him a little. He inhales once more, deeper this time simultaneously with the device Logan holds for him. Logan can feel his breathing go a little steadier, and they do it again. Logan feels himself let out a breath he has hold in until now. "There you go. You did well, love. Can you hold on my neck? I'll move you to the sofa." Logan moves James arms around his shoulders and hoists him up in his arms, so he can carry him bridal style. James hasn't any strength left. His arms just fall down again and his head lulls against Logan's shoulder. He looks down as he makes his way to the sofa. James seems to drift off already. Carefully he places him down. He stokes softly through his red hair. "Get some sleep. You deserve it." He kisses him on the forehead then he sits down on the other end of the couch, and lays James feet on his thighs and throws his head back. He exhales deeply. Relief washes over him. James really has scared him back there and Logan would call that "a close call" because this is the worst asthma attack, he had seen in years. He probably needs to call James' mother and his doctor later.

He really wants to know what has triggered the attack, though, because James was supposed to be in bed. But right now, he's relieved that James is okay. Exhausted but okay. And just like that he closes his eyes himself.