it's weird because she wants to stay like this. being like this seems so normal now, that actually being normal is something she flinches away from. she can't imagine not being like this. it's weird to think that she ever was.
because everything died that day. she can't remember it well –she was eleven– but she remembers the feelings.
when connor first came home smelling like weed, age twelve. he and cynthia and larry fought about it while zoe curled up in her room and sobbed, listening to all the yelling. she wasn't sure what was happening but everything was too loud and she just wanted to disappear and never come back she wanted to be away away away–
away was something she was quite a lot when it all started. dance. jazz band. surfing, a few years later. the house was too painful –so many arguments embedded in the walls. the house still shakes sometimes. zoe doesn't blame it: she still shakes a lot too.
she's not ready to forgive connor. not just yet. maybe she never will. but she'll try for him.
YOU ARE READING
froyo / dear evan hansen
Fanfiction"you've been an asshole to me since i was eleven, and you expect me to forgive you because you bought me froyo a couple of times?" {started 3/5/18 finished 2/9/18}
