LOCA POR TI ? On My Block

DIECIS?IS

the longer she looked at the drawing, the more she thought about it. esperanza's dad's nickname was 'cráneo' which literally translates to skull, and the rose, which represents her mother that was once to innocent for her own well-being.

thinking she was in to much thought about it, she put the piece to the side and brought out some papers for homework she forgot to finished the night before – but can you blame her for not doing it?

after what felt like forever, esperanza got up from the bed and made her way to the small kitchen that was down the hall and next to the front lawn.

as she walked, espy took her time, looking at the pictures that hung on the wall. some pictures were of oscar and cesar, and others were of the two boys doing their own thing.

seeing one in particular, espy stopped and looked at it. in the picture, was the whole gang – jamal, monse, ruby, cesar and esperanza – cheesing at the camera, holding the paper that they were given before they were moved into middle school.

smiling at the memory, esperanza continued her way to the cocina to get something to snack on and to drink.

grabbing an apple and filling her glass with water, she leaned on the counter under a window and looked outside.

posting up, there was at least fifteen santos afuera, including derek. the only thing missing from the scene was the candy-apple red car and the teardrop tattooed owner.

⌑

as the day went on, esperanza found herself sitting around, bored out of her mind. she had drew some more, finished her homework, and even cleaned around the house a little – yet the clock had just hit three-fifty one.

falling back on the bed, she had wondered what else she could do. looking around the room for a second, esperanza's eyes fell on a paper that she had wrote a while back, addressed to her papá.

pa,
the house is so empty without anyone here. most of the time, i find myself looking at la pequeña caja that you left me. i wear the alma collar todos los dias. i started escuela secundaria today, and it wasn't that mal. i wish you were still here so i can talk to you about the day i had. pero ya no puedo. eva left almost three weeks ago for universidad and derek is helping run para los santos. yo recuerdo when you did that, and you would always promise that when i came home, you would be here.

but when i did come back, you weren't here. and now, i'm part of los santos, but i don't do anything. confía en mi, estoy feliz sin hacer nada.

tengo que ir. te amo papá.
te veo,

esperanza

reading her letters didn't make esperanza upset, but for some reason this one did. maybe it's because she had just been told that day that she was officially a santos or because she was tired of being alone. without a second thought, espy grabbed a notebook and a pen, and began writing her next letter.

⌑

once esperanza was finished, her music was cut off by the sound of her phone ringing.

incoming call from: eva 💅🏼

"bueno?" esperanza asked, a smile on her lips.