pacify her 2 - n.m - completed

"This isn't right, you're taking my life. "

nate +

Sitting on the couch and watching TV with my son, Carlitos, I get up and take a break from the moment that I'm having with him and walk out to the backyard heading to the beach where I spend my time when I need to clear my mind off things.

I lay on the sand and view the beautiful, clear blue ocean hit the waves that pass by and then crash together making a big foam spread out on the sand.

My mind suddenly thinks in Ester. How I didn't take care of something so worthy and precious that I was on my way to get married to the most beautiful human being and best cooker in the whole world.

And now, I lost her. Forever, this time. Never going to have another chance for her to be with me because I have officially lost her.

It's so frustrating that I destroyed her even more worse than the time that we were fighting back in Omaha. Our happiness only lasted for a few months, and then everything just became into darkness. But now, I'm worse. I can't be happy without Ester. I mean really, I just can't. She would always hangout with me and cancel her plans just to be home with me and sit beside me even if she was bored. She would stay up late with me whenever I would think of lyrics to put down on my notebook for new songs that I wanted to record.

While we were doing that, she would joke with me and try to come up with rapping verses that didn't make no sense, but I loved it.

"Okay, how about..." she taps her finger on her chin looking up at the roof.

"Okay. 'Your girl want me but all I know is that she won't get me because I'm freshy, I hangout at the crib with my gold chain on my neck because I'm too lazy to do anything...'"

I burst out laughing holding my stomach containing the urine to come out of my pants.

"What? It's true. You always be lazy and have that chain on with your name." She laughs as well.

"It doesn't make any sense. At all. Really? Freshy? What kind of word is that?" I say while I continue to laugh.

"You invent words more non existable that doesn't make any sense too!" She jumps on me and I hold her as her hair drops down to my face covering half of her face. I push it away behind her ear and stare at her precious feature that God gave me.

"You are so beautiful, you know that? I can't wait to marry you already!" I grunt at the end.

"I know, we're almost there baby. Don't worry." She traces the rose tattoo inked on my chest and lays her head on it.

"I love you, baby. Don't ever forget that." I stare at the ceiling and brush my fingers through her hair caressing it until I hear little soft snores.

"Love of my life."

And now, I can't find that happiness in here with Regina. Yes, I moved in with her because I'm a mature guy and decided to move in with her being a responsible guy and because everybody started saying that how can I abandon someone who's having my baby and blah, blah, blah.

We moved away from the city, and ever since we moved in here, she has been out mostly.

She's always bringing up excuses saying that she has to work all day so she won't be home or that she's not coming home because she has to stay at a hotel for an interview that she's having. She's a model now so she also became famous.

But, I have a feeling that she's not telling me the truth. But, I will find out sooner or later because the truth never stays hidden for a long time.