Lollipop // Phan

•Dan's pov•

Trigger Warnings: Homophobic slurs/ Homophobia and Mentions of suicide

Date: April 21st

I wake up from yelling coming from down stairs, just like every moring. We weren't always this bad of a family, just after when I came is when it down hill.

I get up from my old twin bed and go to my closet. I pick out white jeans with a 2 sizes to big light pink sweater, and the most important thing of all, I choose my white flower crown.

I head down the stairs after I put on my clothes, and fixed my hair enough to to put the flower crown on top of my uncontrollable curly hair. I make myself some toast, breakfast is really the only time I eat, other then that I have a lollipop always in my mouth. Sucking on something just helps, plus the sweet taste reminds of my childhood. It's always haves to be cottoncandy light blue or strawberry pink.

"You look like such a slut, and homosexual." My father says.

"Well I'm gay and can't just stop it." I say.

"Do not say the G word in this house hold of God, we spent so much money on that correction camp and it did nothing." My mother says slapping my across my face.

"Well it didn't work, clearly!"

"Don't talk to your mom like that boy. I hope you at least prayed before you ate boy, maybe the lord will make you not homosexual anymore if you're good to him." My father says.

"I can't just stop being who I am!" I yell throwing my toast, then I walk out the door.

I go into my backpack and grab a light blue lollipop, I only have around 10 left. I will after school and buy some more. I can't be late or I will have a hell of a day. I put the cottoncandy lollipop into my mouth and began sucking the sweet stick of sugar.

Going to a really religious school, when you keep being told your going to hell, is hell.

The walk to school is only around 5 minutes, but I make it around double that time due to looking at all the flower that are blooming.

Once I finally get to school, I go to my locker. I pull out the text books I need, and walk to my first class. With still 20 minutes before class starts.

°°°

"Okay good moring class!" Mrs. Hanes says. "Today we will be do-" She gets cut off by someone walking into the room. That someone was Phil Lester. He is the school bad boy, he's also really hot.

His dark blue almost black hair is pulled into a quiff. He has snake bites, an eyebrow bar, and his nose pierced. He has both of his arms are covered in sleeves of tattoos and he also has a dragon tattoo in his neck. I have had huge crush on him sense he transferred to this school.

"Philip it's so nice of you to join us."

"Shut it slut." He says.

"Philip office now!" She says using a ruler to make her point even more.

"Fine, it's better then having to be with a bitch like you." He says walking out of the room.

°°°

It was only 5th period of a 7 period day, and I'm done. Being openly gay in a heavy religious school, don't even get me started on how bad it is.

"Okay guys in drama today we will be each be reciting the bible verses!" Mr. Butterworth says.

And I'm now sucking on my 6th lollipop today, it's a strawberry pink.

°°°

"Daniel Howell you're up." He says.

"Oh the homosexual one!" A boy says.

"Eww faggot!" A girl says.

"God hates fags!" Another boy says.

I feel tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. It's not like the teacher does anything.

"Mr. Butterworth can I use the bathroom?" I ask. He nods and I run out of the room.

I run out the of the room. I know where I'm going, I'm going to the roof. No one likes me so it will be good when I'm gone.

Once I climb up to the roof, I admire the beautiful sky. The lollipop is almost done, when it's done I'm jumping.

I sit so my legs as dangling from the ledge. It's peaceful, no one tells you how peaceful it is minutes before you're gone.

"Daniel?" A voice says. I turn my head and see Phil standing on the roof with a cigarette in his right hand.

"Yeah?" I say taking the lollipop from my mouth.

"What are you doing sitting on the ledge?"

"I want out of this pain, out of I'm a sin because I'm gay. I can't be myself and I'm fucking sick of it!"

"Dan please don't jump, I'm coming closer." He says softly.

"Why do you care?" I say throwing the lollipop stick off the roof.

"Because you're cute and I'm also gay." He says slowly walking down to me.

"You're gay and you think I'm cute?"

"Yeah, please don't jump."

"It's just..." I say, fuck it, standing up and walking away from the edge.

Why did I listen to that?

He pulls me into a hug.

"Phil?" I ask looking up into his eyes. I'm a few inches shorter then him.

"Yes?" He says brushing the curl that had fallen in front of my eyes.

"You're cute too." I say blushing lightly.

I press up onto my tip-toes, and press my lips against his own. His cold metal lip ring against the warmth of my own lips.

He tastes like nicotine, but it's a taste I could and will grow to love.