Cold Nights Alone

The day of Graduation

Camila's POV

"AYE BITCH WAKE THE FUCK UP ITS 5:00 IN THE MOTHER FUCKING MORNING BITCH TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL NIGGA. DAMN," my alarm went off but unfortunately I was already awake. I had been for an hour and a lot was running through my mind. Mostly about my speech and graduation as a whole but also my future. I'm not going to lie or front like I don't miss my mom but I do. I hate what she did and don't want to see her because of it but there have been sometimes where I just needed her advice and comfort but she's not speaking to me anymore and I don't necessarily want to see her at the moment. A part of me wanted her to be there at graduation. Partly because I wanted to show her that even though she kicked me out I still made it out and on top for that matter. The other part because I wanted her to be proud of me. To see that her daughter actually made it and was successful. I wanted her to brag about me to her friends and co-workers like how moms do. I was stuck in a weird limbo state where I wanted to see her today but at the same time I didn't.

I finally broke away from my thoughts and got out of bed. I started to get ready and put my clothes on. I grabbed my cello and my cap and made my way to Ford Field. I haven't been to a graduation since freshman year. Tasha, Ramira, and the rest of their friends skipped school to go. If I remember correctly Hope was there too but I'm not sure. Regardless that was probably the most fun I'd had with Tasha ever. I pulled into a parking spot and there were tons of others here with their parents and family. It didn't start until 10 so I didn't expect to see Chris or Ciera her until way later. I went inside and found multiple tables with counselors frantically flipping through papers and passing out gowns to everyone. I found mine and surprisingly there was no line. "Well look at my only music student and valedictorian. How are you Camila," she smiled as I walked up. "I'm good. A little nervous but I'll be fine," I said and she turned around to the stacks of gowns on a table behind her. "Well here's your medium love. I hope life goes well for you," she gave me a hug. "Thank you," I said walking away. "ALL GRADUATES PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE FIELD," someone said from the stage.

I didn't know where I was going exactly so I just followed everyone else and eventually I bumped into James and Andrea. "Hey y'all," I walked over to where they were. "Hey. Charles is on the bus with Bartlette and the rest of the orchestra," Andrea said. "Ok, should we still go out there or should we wait?" I asked and they shrugged. I pulled my phone out of my pocket only to have 10 missed calls from Raine, 5 from Kash, 2 from Zee, and 4 from Chris. I didn't even know my phone was on do not disturb. I called Raine first. "Camila! Are you ok?" She was in a loud area but I could hear Kash with her. "Yea Im fine. My phone was on Do Not Disturb," I said and she sighed. "Ok. You got niggas out here worrying and shit. Where are you?" She asked as I walked out onto the field. "Uhh. Near the tunnel. Where we walk out," I said and she repeated what I said to who I assume was Kash. I started to look for them as James, Andrea, and myself made our way to the front where the orchestra would be playing. "I'm going to the front near the stage now," I said looking in the cluster of people trying to see if I could spot the two dreadheads. "I see you. Here I come," Raine said before hanging up the phone. I looked around and I saw her walking over to where we were standing. "Hey you," she said hugging me. "Good morning," I said kissing her. "Hey James and Andrea," Raine said. "Wassup biscuit booty," Kash said poking Andrea. "Biscuit booty?" I laughed. "I know you see this ass she got on her right," Kash said and Andrea rolled her eyes. We sat and talked until the orchestra finally came. The three of us already had our instruments out but the rest scrambled to get ready.

We played while everyone walked into the stadium and took their seats. When we were Charles, James, Andrea, and I went and got in line so we could walk with the rest of the seniors. We got in line and were once again separated but not like how it was for the pinning ceremony. Raine, Tasha, Zee, and I were on the stage. Mari was sitting on one side of the front row with the other IB students. Hope was at the end of the same row with the dual enrollment kids. Kash was somewhere in the sea of kids and the other orchestra seniors were sitting in the orchestra. There was a speaker that Zee and Raine got to introduce. He talked about the times when he went to E-Prep and how the times have changed. Nadia being the president spoke and milked the fuck out of her time. I can't even hate though because I was planning on doing the same thing. I actually think we all milked our speeches just for the simple fact of they had to be like 3 minutes long and you don't really want to give the generic "this is the end of the beginning" speech. It seemed like all the speeches and performances went on for forever until they lead all of us sitting on the stage off and to the side. Here is where we all get our diplomas and the name calling thing.