1. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
2. OH MY GOD, IT SPOKE!
3. I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, I don't speak shit.
4. If I wanted a bitch, I would've bought a dog.
5. Who pissed in your breakfast?
6. Oh sorry, was I supposed to be offended?
7. I would call you retarded, but that would be an insult to those who are.
8. You must have been born on a highway, that is where most accidents happen.
9. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
10. I would like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
11. Excuse me, but you must mistake me for someone who gives a shit.
12. I'm busy right now, could I ignore you some other time?
13. You're the reason God created the middle finger.
14. Roses are red. Violets are blue. God made me pretty, but what happened to you?
15. If you're going to be a smartass, then at least be smart, otherwise, you're just an ass.
16. I'd insult you, but it would take you all day to figure it out.
17. Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown at a wall.
18. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego, and fall to your IQ level.
19. If you have a problem with me, please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up, and shove it up your ass.
20. When someone tells you "Suck it" always reply with "Sorry, small objects are a choking hazard"
