for phoebe

I used to sleep at the bottom of the bed. Passing out at 3 in the morning thanks to a little too much Kentucky burbon was my normal. I was infatuated with a girl I'd never have; she never wanted me the way I wanted her. No matter where I applied no one would give me the time of day. Not even a phone call. On top of these things I couldn't keep any of my grades up for the life of me.

This was my life a year ago.

I am now a year sober.

You'd be proud if you knew the person I am now, and all I'm doing is growing from every achievement.

A few months after that I found a job who's treated me greatly, no matter the circumstance. I'm there for them like they are for me. It's like a home away from home. A second family if you will.

I have passing grades for once. Like strong A's and B's. Honor roll!!

And when it comes to a love life, things are so you say, different now. I have a boyfriend, but he's amazing. He's all I could ever want. I haven't been with someone who just wanted me for me in a long time. We met in August and now it's almost the new year. "Time flies when youre happy" one of my friends said that recently. She's right. We're both starting to thrive and cool to see us grow together. We bring out the best in each other.

The point is, I don't pine after those I have no shot with anymore. It's just pointless for me to waste my time when either I'm not interested or vice versa.

I'm even improving with music this year and really on track for what I want to accomplish in life. Doing dual enrollment next year (college classes while still being in highschool aka not paying for college but still taking the classes) and working with film, photography, music, etc. It all seems kind of surreal to me. Gives an excited outlook for life after highschool.

Next year is my last year. My last marching season. My last first football game. My last year of highschool, which is bittersweet and not much of actual highschool. With my luck I'll be a section leader for low brass. I'm hopeful to make it into honor bands and maybe even heatwave if I have the money.

Hopefully I get back into my actual writing again. Writing novels and actually finishing them for once. Who knows.

Godspeed traveler

I'm not religious

- for p