Citrus. Klance AU

"Hey, love." Lotor said, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer. I leaned my head on his shoulder but was undoubtedly stiff against him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." I mumbled. Lotor leaned forward and switched off the television: a sign that things were about to get serious. I gulped, terrified of what was going to come.

"What have I told you about lying?"

"You told me not to do it or I will get punished."

"Yeah... so why are you lying, love?" Lotor cupped my chin, his hands like silk. I refused to meet his eyes because tears were collecting in mine and I didn't want him to notice.

"Because you hurt me, Lotor. Last night I- I didn't want you to do that. I said I was sorry and you should have trusted that I wouldn't cheat. You didn't need to-"

"I did need to." Lotor placed his hand on my thigh and I immediately tensed up, becoming as stiff as a statue. I tried to move away but Lotor grabbed onto my arm. "You need to learn what's right and what's wrong. I love you, Lance but you aren't allowed to leave me... Do you want me to do it again so you can properly learn the lesson?"

I choked out a loud sob, expression filled with desperation. "Please don't. I understand. I won't do it again and- and I'll be good."

"Do you promise?" One of his hands travelled higher up my thigh and my breath hitched. I jerked my arm way from his grasp, jumping up onto my feet. I backed up, holding out my arms in defence. Lotor was watching my every move, waiting for me to slip up so he could-

Hands everywhere. Rough. Pain. Words. I deserved it. I deserved it. I deserved it. Hands. Rough. Pain. Panic. Can't breathe. I deserved it. I deserve it all. Roughpainwordspanichands.

"What has been wrong with you lately, Lance? You aren't the same person I started dating." I backed up even further until my back was right up against the wall. His words were running around my mind so much that I felt dizzy and had to place one of my hands on the nearby bookcase to keep me steady. He was standing up and getting closer and closer. Closer. Closer. Closer. My heart was beating so first and I wondered if I was going to puke. "You've become so weak and pathetic. I should just break up with you now."

"Stop." I mumbled but it was more an exhale of breath rather than actual words.

"If this continues, I'm going to break up with you and throw you out onto the street. What would you do then? Your friends hate you, Lance. You don't have anyone except me. I am the only person who will ever love you."

"Stop!" I screamed, my hands flying to my ears to drown him out. I let out a loud sob, my knees buckling as I did so.

Useless. Weak. Pathetic. Hated. Alone. Useless. Weak. Pathetic. Hated. Alone. Uselessweakpathetichatedalone. I can't breathe. I'm going to suffocate. I'm going to die. Maybe that's a good thing? I need to escape. I'm going to suffocate.

"Snap out of it for fuck's sake!" Lotor yelled and it most certainly did not help. My breathing was rapid and raged and the world was beginning to dance in circles around me. Lotor had become a blurry figure in front of me so I couldn't read his face. I needed to get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. "Lance, Lance, listen to me. You're safe here, alright? Please breathe properly."

"Leave me alone. I- I can't breathe." I buried my head into my hands just so I didn't have to see the blurry mess the world had become. I counted each breath. Inhale. Exhale. One. Inhale. Exhale. Two. Inhale. Exhale. Three. Four. Five.

"You can have your phone back, Lance. I'm so.. so sorry."

"It's okay. Can you just... give me some space?"

"Of course." I still didn't look up but I heard Lotor reluctantly leave. I was a stranded, broken mess on the floor.

-

A couple of hours passed before I was completely calm again. Lotor had been really nice about my panic attack and had put on a movie for us. He had also given me my phone back with strict rules: I could only message him and he had a right to go through my phone whenever he wanted. I thought that was fairer than not having a phone at all so agreed.

We were cuddled up on the sofa, watching The Maze Runner. It was one of my favourite movies and I knew Lotor loved it too. I had my head in his lap as he twirled my hair around his fingers. It was really soothing, especially when I closed my eyes. I ended up not paying much attention to the movie but, instead, focusing on Lotor's hands. I had seen The Maze Runner so many times that it didn't really matter that I didn't watch it properly.

"Who's your favourite character?" Lotor asked out of the blue. I opened my eyes for a second to see Newt and Thomas conversing about something.

"I don't know... Newt?"

"Thomas is way better."

"How basic of you." Thomas was the main character so it was awfully basic of Lotor to choose him; almost a cop out.

Lotor chuckled softly. When I heard his genuine, sweet laugh, it reminded me of why I had fallen in love with him in the first place. If I skipped over all of the harsh punishments, he was actually a wonderful person to hang out with. He could easily make me laugh and smile and his cuddles had become a second home to me. "I am not basic."

"Yeah you are," I murmured, voice barely there. I was on the verge of falling asleep as my eyes lulled shut again. "But I love it."

"Of course you do." Lotor smiled down at me, brushing my hair away from my eyes. I flickered my eyes open again and met Lotor's. My heart fluttered like it used to when I had only just met him. Before everything had become control, control, control. "I love you too, love."