Polysomething

Chapter Five

"How many drinks did he have?"

"Um, I think four or five."

"Four or five?" Alex scoffed. "Lightweight." She paused, taking a quick breath. "Well hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow."

"Yeah," Aaron said. He laughed through his nose. "And hopefully I'll never have to see him again."

Alex snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"What?"

"Come on, Aaron. He'll probably call you tomorrow morning, say he's sorry, and then you'll forgive him and be best friends again."

Aaron looked at Alex for a moment, wondering whether or not that was true, and then nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm a funless pushover. So how was your date with the uh...business guy?"

"He was a business analysist. And it was not good."

"Oh, shit. What happened?"

"Well, I knew it was going to be bad when the first thing the guy said was that he had an hour on the parking meter, so he couldn't stay longer than that."

Aaron laughed. "Oh, God."

"Yeah," Alex said. "So immediately I thought to myself, Well, do you know there's this thing called change.... But you know what? I decided to be nice and give him the benefit of the doubt because who knows? Maybe he was nervous. Parking can be a real hassle in this city." She pursed her lips and made a face that read: What a dickweed. "So anyways we order drinks and"—she sighed—"all right, I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but um...I like it when the guy offers to pay for my drinks." She immediately raised her voice: "Now hold on, mister! Let me explain before you get all bitchy with me—"

Aaron shook his head, indicating he wasn't going to say anything.

"I didn't say he needs to pay for my drinks," Alex went on. "This isn't fucking Mad Men. I just like the idea of having...a little tiff with the guy about who pays because—I don't know—I think it's fun and shows the guy can be playful and...hey, sometimes it leads to a second date." She smiled. "You know, you're fighting over who pays for the round and then he stops and says something like 'Well, how about I pay for the drinks this time and you can pay for them next time?' That's cute, right?"

Aaron smiled. "Yup."

"Right," Alex said, nodding. "But nope. We didn't have a little tiff over the drinks. I paid for mine and he paid for his." She stuck out her tongue and feigned a long, vomiting sound. "Boring!"

Aaron chuckled.

"So anyways we started talking for a little bit and"—Alex snorted—"oh my God, at one point, he said he was going to the dentist to get his wisdom teeth removed and then proceeded to open his mouth and show them to me. It was so fucking disgusting." She paused, flinching in disgust. "And that wasn't even the worst thing that happened! Do you want to know what was worse than that?"

Aaron smiled again, nodding. "Sure."

"All right," Alex said. "So we were still talking and then all of a sudden he said he needed to check the parking meter. So I said okay. So he leaves and I'm just sitting there trying to decide if I should say, 'Fuck it,' and ditch him. I didn't though because again, I thought I should be nice and give him a proper goodbye. So then he comes back and guess what he says?"