Helpless (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)

The months leading up to your wedding were full of anticipation.

There was a lot of planning to do, and both you and Lin were so excited to get married and move in together.

If you were being honest, you were also really nervous. You had always had this nightmare about tripping on your way down the aisle at the wedding.

Plus, you and Lin were getting married. And were going to live together. What if, when Lin started to get close to you, he would see how messed up you were? You weren't perfect, like him. Sometimes you felt like you didn't deserve him. He was this perfect human specimen, and you were just... you.

Lin had also started to rub off on you. During those few months, you began to write songs.

Look up

You'll see the stars

You'll see how they shine

Just for you, just for you

In the blink of an eye

You make amazing things appear

But what if I were to show you, show you what's in my mind

Would you disappear?

I know that you'd be kind

But listen, you're all that's on my mind

So please

Stay

You sighed and put down the pencil, then rubbed your temples. Obviously, Lin wasn't going to leave you. He proposed to you. He knew what he was getting into. This was really just letting your mind wander then stay in the part of your brain where your insecurity resided.

But still...

What if Lin really did realize how he deserved so much better than you? Your job outside of acting was writing, and that was really it. Basically, if people didn't like what you were selling, you made no money, while Lin constantly had money pouring in. You were just a lowly writer (technically, Lin was a writer too, but you wrote stories). Lin won a Pulitzer Prize. Multiple Grammys. Multiple Tonys. Sure, you won a Tony for playing Eliza, but that was it. Lin deserved better.

You shook off your depressing thoughts. You were marrying this guy. Obviously, he saw something in you. You just wished you knew what it was.

You checked your phone. 2:17 pm.

Crap! You were supposed to meet Lin at Starbucks at 2:20!

You quickly got up and rushed out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

After you got coffee and were walking around Washington Heights with Lin, your mind wandered again.

Had Lin put the deposit on the beach? You were pretty sure. Or, wait, were you supposed to do that?

You were so disorganized. Lin kind of was too, but to you, that was cute. If you were Lin looking at your disorganization, you would think that it's annoying. Did Lin just overlook that when he decided to propose? Did he just figure that he would have to plan everything?

Lin's waving hand was suddenly in front of your face, and you looked over at him, surprised out of your train of thought.

"Sorry, were you saying something?"

"Yes. I have been for the past five minutes." He studied you, looking concerned. "Is something wrong? You look worried."

"No, I'm fine. I just... can't remember if we put a deposit on the beach venue."