js imagines

before you start reading this imagine, i'd just like to notify you that i have unpublished psychopath for various reasons. for starters, that story is a mess. nothing makes sense and when i reread it before, it reminded me of a story that i recently just completed on my instagram, which is friends with benefits. i thought i'd publish it here to go be able to go more into detail since the ending of it was rushed and  fuzzy. for those asking, it will be up in a few short weeks. i also have no inspiration for it, so please don't be upset. i am well aware that it did have minor success and you guys seemed to enjoy it, but i can't cope with writing it any longer. anyways, hope you're well, and enjoy the story <3

i'm not enough, sad/cute imagine

This sunny summer afternoon didn't really reflect my mood. I had been pondering the entire day, simply lost in my thoughts. I was thinking about my life, the mistakes I've made, the things I regret and such. The boredom got to me pretty good, only in the worst way possible. I might of cried once or twice as I reminded myself of my dreaded failed relationships, both being friends and lovers. 

They all resulted in failure because of me. The choices I made affected my social life and caused depression for a very long time. Very dark, yes. But they've all made me a better person. I've grown stronger, wiser and more selective. 

I might of screwed up a few times and put the fact that it was my fault into my head, but what I didn't realize is that my old friends weren't the best. No matter how many times they hurt me, I still went back to them due to emotional attachment. To this day, I still face moments where I need to make a crucial decision and this flaw of mine gets in the way.  

I always say sorry for everything I do. I overthink everything and always feel guilty. It really makes me insecure and makes me feel as though I'm the problem. I can never seem to get it through my head that it's not me. I always try my hardest - and when I mean hardest, I mean hardest - to make people feel happy and comfortable in their own skin. I guess I always put other beings' sentiments before mine. I was raised that way, so you can't really blame me.

Anyways, parenthesis of my life story is now closed. I was lonely and sad all day so I called up my best friend, my rock, Jacob. He makes me so happy, I can't even begin to put it into words. I don't think I have a love interest for him, though. I've known him for so long and we've developed such a close friendship and I wouldn't want to destroy that. 

I can't lie to you and say he isn't attractive. He is very much so a very beautiful human, inside and out.  Our relationship just isn't built for romance. "Hey, J." I softly said through the mic. "Hey, Y/n. What's up?" He quickly responded full of joy. "Nothing much. Are you busy right now?" I twirled my hair around my finger. "No, why? Is everything alright?" He began to sound worried. 

"Um, not really. Not since this morning, actually. Do you think you could come over?" I frowned even though he wasn't able to see me. "Of course. I'll be there in five." Jacob simply hung up the phone and all I had to do was wait. Waiting for someone always made time feel longer. Thinking, for me at least, made it go by faster.

Just as I thought, the seconds on the clock were up in the blink of an eye. The doorbell rang and I sprinted down the stairs. My hand twisted open the doorknob and there he stood. His outfit was pretty mellow: sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. "Hey." He greeted me with a heartwarming smile. "Hey back." I said as I let him in. 

"So, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you?" He said as he sat down on my bed. "No- Well, I hurt myself. I was thinking too much and it had me, well, thinking." I pursed my lips. "Think of what?" His hazel eyes twinkled with such worry. 

Just as I looked down, his hand snaked into mine, holding it tight. "Just about, um, the past. My past. It made me feel like such a failure." He then lifted my chin up so I could look at him. "A failure?" I nodded awkwardly before I continued to vent. "Yeah, like I'm not enough. Look, I can never achieve the things I want to achieve, like making people happy, because I'm not good enough." I sighed. 

He smiled. "Oh, Y/n. What kind of nonsense is this? You are enough. You're amazing. You're so great at everything you do and you CAN make people happy. Don't say those nasty things. You're great just the way you are." His finger caressed my cheek.

"How do I know you're not only saying this just to make me feel better?" I asked at almost a whisper. Jacob looked at me wide-eyed. "Um, because you fucking rock? You give great advice, you always know how to make people smile, even if sometimes it's hard to do, and you're so many incredible things. You're a good person. A wonderful one." Silence. "Do you believe me now?" He smiled, making me giggle. "Okay, yes I do." Jacob then pulled me into a hug, making me feel much better.

The moral of the story is that no matter how many times you've been torn down and felt as though you were nothing, you never lose your worth. You're worth it. You matter. You're good enough.

980 words <3

for bella. x