P U R E

Let's just pretend that Henrik Holm is American :) and this is just how I picture the people I'm writing about. You can picture them any way you want!
I picture him as Jamie Stevenson ;)

Warning Graphic Content ahead, will put *warning marks,* if you want to skip.

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When the final bell rang, Alex pretty much sprinted to the locker room, his heart was beating too fast, and his hands were sweaty. He didn't know why he felt this way.

He knew coach wouldn't let a transfer take his spot as team captain. He had been through too much with the team. He had been the backbone for such a long time. And he knew Coach Lonng had a soft spot for him. Maybe because he hadn't missed a practice the 3 years he had been playing for varsity. Even when he had bronchitis, he still came to practice, & sat on the metal bench watching everyone else practice there cradles and runs, things that came so naturally to him, and he was stuck sitting on the bench feeling like he was going to cough out his tonsils.

His mom would be proud.
He liked to tell himself this, even though he could hear her voice in his ears saying, "it's ok not to be perfect all the time."

She was his best friend. Then November of his freshman year she was gone. And when preseason started 2 weeks later he still never missed a practice.

He had thrown himself into lacrosse the moment he played it. From the first time he picked up his brothers extra lacrosse stick, and held it in his hands, he knew that it was what he wanted to do.

And now someone could potentially take his spot. It wasn't just the fact that he was a midfielder, like Alex, it was the fact that he chose this school. The school that had won states 2 years in a row. And Jamie wanted some of the glory. Even the idea of Jamie's presence was throwing Alex off his game.

He was a fag. A homo. A flammer, as his dad liked to call people like Jamie.

Alex could not let a distraction from a fucking faggot cost him a 3rd state championship, he refused. So he tried to stop thinking about it. And kept trying that whole day. But like a snake, the thoughts slithered into his mind, wrapping around his brain. Making it impossible to focus on anything else.

He entered the locker room and was greeted by his friends. Alex searched while getting patted on the back by his naked teammates. He kept his eyes peeled forward. Not letting his gaze drop any lower than the lockers, just like he had done for the past 3 years. If he had known the 'no curtain policy' would've caused him so much trouble, he never would've torn the curtains off of the showers sophomore year. But it was tradition. Team bonding. Jamie wasn't in the locker room.

After everyone had gotten changed he walked outside with Shane, Antwon and Dom. He had been friends with Shane and Antwon since middle school but they had only been bumped up to varsity this year. Dom was a senior, and kinda quiet but he had always been nice, Alex always thought he was jealous that a junior had the spot of team captain, but after they won states for a second time. He seemed to be fine with Alex, besides a couple teasing comments here and there, but that's what friends did.

Alex was social, sure. When he was being himself. Being a junior and being announced as team captain at the end of his sophomore year, made him a target. He had to be mean, but pretending has a price. He changed, and his friends noticed, and even though they invited them out, Alex knew it was out of obligation. The thought fucked with his mind.

He had become a completely different person over the past three years, and Alex didn't even know if he could go back to who he was before high school, before lacrosse, before his mom, or even if he wanted to.