Down In A Hole

Layne stared in the mirror that was hanging on the wall in the small bathroom that was joined to his room. He opened his mouth, looking at his gums. He had over half of the teeth removed from his mouth which had been due to decay, which was the result of his frequent drug use. He was surprised he had any teeth left at all. He had three teeth left on the bottom of his mouth and 5 left at the top of his mouth. It felt weird without his partial in. He could feel his teeth hitting his gums. He looked down and opened the pink cup, sliding the top ones in,then sliding the bottom ones in.

He smiled to himself in the mirror. They fit perfectly around his remaining teeth. He sighed and ran his hand through his short hair. He had shaved his head when he first arrived to rehab, and it had grown back a bit over the past months. His hair was turning gray already and he was only 33 years old. Perhaps that was due to the long term drug use as well. Layne had age around his eyes. He rubbed the skin on his face as he stared at himself.

He couldn't wait to get out of here so he could dye his hair. He sighed and slipped his flip flops on. He was wearing a white tank top and white pajama like pants that tied up at the waist. These were the uniforms they had to wear at the rehab center. He walked out of the bathroom and stopped to stare at the crinkled picture he kept on there.

It was the picture that his daughter Laina had given him when he was in the hospital. He couldn't wait to see her. He had spoken to her on the phone several times when he was allowed to make his weekly phone call. She was reading now and she loved to read things to him. He had even sent her a letter and she read it to him over the phone. He was so proud of her.

Layne started tidying up his room. It was part of their routine there. They had to make sure their rooms were clean at all times. Layne was pretty good at doing that. He always followed all of the rules. He laid pretty low.

Layne smiled to himself as he started throwing his dirty clothes in his clothes basket.

Tomorrow, here in this very room, Shannon would be here. Layne closed his eyes and smiled. He had waited and worked so hard for this and tomorrow he would get his reward for doing good.

He left his room with his clothes basket and washing materials. He kept his head down as he walked through the halls, passing people, muttering hey.

He followed his usual routine of washing his clothes, taking them back to the room. He then went to the dining hall to grab a bite to eat. A vegan delight as they all liked to call it. After that was yoga and meditation. Layne had gotten very good at yoga. He loved meditating, it was so relaxing.

He had a meeting with his sponsor after that where he expressed his feelings. As usual they were about Shannon.

Shannon was the only thing keeping him going right about then.

After the sponsor meeting, Layne sat in on a meeting where people spoke about their problems with drugs. Layne never spoke up but was there as a support to other people.

Finally he was back in his room to do whatever he liked for the rest of the day. He got out his journal and started writing in it.

I'm yearning with anticipation for tommorrow's visit. It will be the first time I've seen Shanny in 8 months. I can't wait to reconnect with him. It's still so weird to me how we got to this point. How can two people be so in love and not fucked? I've never gone about this in this way before. I can't believe he fucking loves me. I can't believe I'm finally going to be able to touch him tomorrow. I need it so bad. I'm pining for him.

I wish we could get married right now, at this very moment. I worry I sound too obsessive. Maybe its just being trapped behind these white walls for too long and not being able to see him. I have so much energy and I want to expend it on him.