Broken Line

a/n: Hello! So yeah, this chapter flowed really well and I wrote it in probably 2 hours or something like that. I hope you guys like it. Also updates will happen every Monday and Thursday (I'll let you guys know in advance if  I'm unable to update). Please don't forget to leave feedback. x

I ran. I just ran.

From the moment I closed Natalie’s door, my legs assumed command and the rest of my body went numb. It was dark, but because it was a Saturday, the streets were still full of people and cars. It was a little less warm than during the day, but it didn’t take much for me to feel the sweat dripping.

Never in my life had I run so fast. Everything passing by was just a giant blur, I could hear voices and car honks, but my eyes couldn’t really focus on anything. This time at least I knew where I was headed and when I finally stopped in front of my building, I was desperately gasping for air.

Inside my apartment I headed straight to the shower, not only because I was a sweaty mess, but because I needed to cool down, to think about what had just happened. There were so many thoughts in my head, I needed to start organizing them or I’d go crazy.

With the cold water running down my body I started to relax. I felt stupid, like my 13 year old self again, crushing on the older girl he could never get. Except that I actually I had her right there, she was mine and still I couldn’t kiss her.

She was vulnerable, she was fragile and I got scared. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss the girl I was crazy about when she seemed even more confused than I was. Yes, she did admit that she broke up because of me, although not using these exact words, but still, it was implied when she blamed me for messing up everything.

I left the shower feeling just as messed up as I was before. All I wanted to do was run again all the way to Natalie’s apartment and kiss her, yet there was this voice in my head stopping me and I knew exactly who that voice belonged to.

Ashton.

What if he was right? What if I was the one bound to get hurt? What if Natalie decided that breaking up wasn’t really what she wanted and got back with Tom? At some point she would have to realize I was just a pathetic teenager and that she was way out of my league, right?

There were so many questions in my head and none of them led me to believe that me and Natalie could ever work out. Who was I kidding? Even if for some reason she thought I was actually good enough for her, how could we make it work? She had just broken up with a guy because of the distance, how could we make it work between us? Most of the time I wasn’t even in Australia and it’s not like I was in one place, me and the band were traveling constantly, sometimes we were in 5 different places in a week.

With so many different scenarios in my head it was hard to picture one where Natalie and I ended up being a couple. Besides all of that, there was the fact that she was my brother’s best friend. My parents called her their daughter! How would they react if we just showed up holding hands? Jack would probably kill me.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I put my head in my hands, closing my eyes for a few seconds. Should I really be so damn worried about the future? Shouldn’t I, as a teenager, enjoy being young, living the moment and fucking kissing the girl who finally liked me back? If I could meet my 13 year old self and tell him he would actually have the chance to kiss Natalie, but completely mess it up, he would probably kick me in the balls.

I heard my phone ringing and quickly reached for the pocket of the jeans I was wearing before to grab it. Calum’s name and picture was on the screen.

- Finally, dude. I was fucking worried. – He said, before I could even say hi. – This is probably the fifth time I’m calling you today.

I sighed. Yeah, I was trying to avoid him earlier, but I really didn’t see his latest calls.