Project

I saw my life flash before my eyes. I have to admit; I saw a lot of mistakes I wished to rectify. I saw my friends, my family, everything grows and falls before me.

They say dreams don't predict the future, but if I had for once just looked at my dreams, I would've been able to save so many, done so much. I once dreamt that I was being chased by a mad man, and hid in my own tomb. I could've stopped my own doom, but I blindly followed myself to my destined fate.

I once dreamt that I was being entrapped at the side of a mountain, flames enclosing me. I saw my friend to the left of me, their face enclosed by smoke, and their body burnt to a crisp. To the right of me I saw a family, unconscious but still alive. I went to try and save them, but my legs wouldn't move. In fact, my hips wouldn't budge either. That's when I noticed that some shrapnel, a large metal pole, with weird bends almost as if it was to press on something, had inconveniently landed through my spine. To say the least, the memory made me feel uncomfortable. I reached out to them, but I soon lost consciousness, and fell into my next memory.

I land in a field, barren and bare, apart from a single tree that isn't as welcoming as it was when I was a kid. The sun is just setting, and yet gives such a warm glow. The sky is a beautiful water-coloured painting of pinks and reds. Clouds seeming like cotton balls floating in the sky had a blue tinge to them. I found this peaceful and calm atmosphere all too ironic for what was about to unfold.

Soon enough, I see myself and Ridley, standing in front of one another. I want to walk up to him, to explain what I'm about to say. I wish they could hear me, but I have to watch it unfold instead.

"Hey." My friend says, "How have you been?"

"I've been alright. I've thought about something else!" I say, not reading the atmosphere correctly.

"Look, I don't want to hear it."

"Why not? This could save Pr-"

"Why are you so adamant on that?! Let it go! Project died! We can't help him. I know you might be in denial, but you have to learn that we all are in grieving. We all wish we could bring Project back, but they're gone. Why can't you just see that and help us move on?!"

"Because I know they're still alive! I know we can help them! Why can't you have faith in me?!" I argue, losing one of two people who still kept helping me through it all.

A silence falls between them both. They both don't know how to persuade the other. Both were correct, in a way, and I wish I saw that back then. Soon enough, as I expected, Ridley turns away, "Look, whatever you're thinking of doing, just don't get upset when it inevitably goes wrong. I wish I could help you, but I just can't deal with this..."

And then I go and say something I should never have said.

"Then don't bother coming to me for advice. I'm not your therapist, and if I was, I would've given up. Look, we're going to meet again one day. That will be the last time we meet. When that happens, one of us will forgive the other, and we will then depart for the final time."

That comment leaves Ridley speechless, and he begins to walk away in anger and regret. I want to tell him I never meant it. I want to explain my actions with this new hindsight, but it's all a memory. So, I fall through once more, and come across something more heart-warming.

Project and I, sitting outside our neighbourhood. Nothing is happening, but we don't feel as though anything needed to happen. For once, we were both in such a welcome feeling of peace, that we had forgotten the world around us. Even though we weren't communicating, we both had the same thoughts as we zoned off into the far reaches of the empty spaces in our cramped minds.