Complex Robotics

Nadir

My gaze hardened, "What mom? What happened to him?"

My mind was racing with a million questions. Did he get hurt? Is he okay? Is he resting? What was going on?

"What happened?!" I snapped, nearly losing my grip on the pitcher.

My mother flinched, before turning around slowly. Her eyes were red and tears were already forming. The look on her face said it all, and it was in that moment, that my heart felt like it was torn right out of my chest.

"No..."

The glass shattered into a million pieces, and even Sunstreaker flinched. My mind just kept racing, denial clouded my judgment.

"He was in Kennewick that day," My mother's voice was so soft it was barely a whisper, "On a business meeting."

"No!" I yelled, tears already formed in the corner of my eyes. I shook my head, "No, No! "

"He d-didn't come back home that night. Or the night after that."

"No!" I said, backing away from her and the tiny shards of glass. This couldn't be true!

"W-We got a call, Charlie," Her lips quivered, "Th-They found his body in the wreckage." She sniffled hard, her cheeks blotchy, "There was nothing we could do...he was gone."

A tear rolled down my cheek. My chest felt like it was constricting in on itself, and I couldn't breathe. I wheezed, trying to catch my breath as my frantic heart pounded in my ears.

"I'm so sorry Charlie." She whimpered.

That's what killed me. It was like an explosion of emotions erupted within me, images of my dad flashed across my mind, and the horrible battle. All that damage...all those dead bodies. My dad was one of them.

I ran, faster than I've ever ran in my life. I swung the door opened, ignoring the calls of my name as I raced down to hall.

"Charlie!" I heard my mother call out, but it was too late.

I was already too far gone, the gruesome images kept flashing up inside my head. The tears ran rampant down my face and blurred my vision slightly, but I didn't even take a pause to wipe them. I just kept running, until my calves began to ache and my lungs burned for air. I collapsed somewhere, in a quiet little garden that was a little ways off from the entrance, not even caring about the perplexed looks thrown my way.

My dad...he's gone.

Then the sobs came, and it shook me to my core. White, burning hot agony was inside me, and I couldn't stop crying. My mind took me back to the last time that I had seen my dad and had a moment with him. It brought me back to that fateful night, when the moon was large in the sky and I was in the garage, drawing Autobot symbols on a sketchpad.

His soothing voice, his caring touch.

The agony was almost too much to bear, and I doubled over again, sobbing and screaming into the night sky. I had felt so many things at once. Grief, anger, frustration, and helplessness. I had tried so hard, to keep the ones that I loved safe. I stayed away, I didn't want them to be involved, and then this happens. They go and kill the person I was the most closest to on this entire planet.

It was my fault. I brought this all on my family.

I failed him.

I cried for what felt likes hours, wrapping my knees to my chest and shaking myself back and forth. Every time a memory of him came to mind, it was like another dagger to the heart. My shaky hands wiped away as many tears as possible, my cheeks were wet and felt cold against the icy wind. My lips were cracked and tasted bitter, along with the feeling inside of me.

He's gone...forever.

I sobbed all over again.

Time seemed to be a meaningless blur as I sat there and grieved in the quiet garden. By the times the sobs faded into quiet whimpers and harsh sniffles, the moon was out and casting its pale glow on everything around me. But my head was in-between my knees, and I was shaking, sniveling, wailing mess.

I tensed at the sound of footsteps, and fell quiet.

The footsteps seemed reluctant for a moment, before they continued and walked straight towards me. The agonizingly slow steps seemed to irritate me, and this time my hands shook in anger, as I whipped around and prepared to snap at them. But whatever vicious remark died in my throat at the sight of Sunstreaker's holoform, who's eyes glowed like sapphire gems in the night.

I just turned away from him, and rested my head on top of my hands, "Leave me alone."

He didn't respond, but he didn't leave either.

He took another step closer.

"I said leave me alone !" I snapped angrily, and Sunstreaker paused. I gave him the iciest, most threatening glare I could muster, expecting to be met with a glare of equal hostility.

Instead, his mouth was in a firm line, and a troubled look crossed his face. He was having another internal debate about something, I could tell from his scrunched up eyebrows. I just sighed, turning around again.

There was a long silence, before it was interrupted.

"I am...sorry for your loss." He mumbled quietly.

My gaze swung back to him. He looked just as surprised as I felt that the words came out of his mouth. It was so strange, seeing Sunstreaker so uneasy and at a loss for words. But why would he act like this?

"You don't have to act like you care." I said, a little more coldly than I intended to.

"Primus femme," He suddenly growled in frustration, "Can't you see what I'm trying to do for you?"

My gaze hardened, and I scoffed, "I don't want your pity or sympathy. It's not worth it because you don't care! You never did, you were such an asshole on base, and the only reason I let you push me around was because I was scared! But I can assure you I'm not that same, scared little girl anymore, and I sure as hell won't let you push me around or castigate me! I'm grieving, and right now I really don't feel like being bothered. So why don't you just leave. Me. Alone!" By now, I was standing right next to him. Our heated gazes locked on each other; one a burning blue and the other a hard hazel.

It was the anguish from his death that had me riled up, I know, but I couldn't care less. I had to take it out on someone, even if it meant I might get squished in the end. Feeling even bolder, I gave him a harsh shove to the chest. Instead of staggering like I wanted him to, he snatched my hands in one wrist. He glared hard at me, and every muscle tightened in my body.

But then, I really got a look at him. The moonlight highlighted his although angry, very handsome features. His shape cheekbones, curly blonde hair, and glittering blue eyes that were filled with so much emotion. He looked a lot like Sideswipe, and yet different. He was much more mature looking, and suddenly my thought process did a one-eighty on me.

I just wanted to feel something, anything other than the pain. The suffocating, aching pain that weighed down on my chest.

And without another thought, I leaned in, and our lips touched.