I'm not weak (Deanxreader)

It's been a few days since you left the hospital. Things have been a bit awkward between you and Dean, but there's been progress. He promised to give you some space, and you promised him that you would tell him everything once you were ready. Sleeping's gotten harder, visions of the demon kept coming through your mind. The same nightmare played again and again. You and Dean would be walking through a park at night, suddenly he wouldn't be there, you would always look for him and always find him with the demon in his arms smiling and hugging 'her', and Sam and Cas laying there, bleeding out with faces etched in fear. You would always try to save them, but end up having the demon choke you, with Dean there smiling, not doing anything else. 

"No, No please..." You whimpered, tossing and turning in your bed. 

"Dean..." You whispered as you began to shake. 

"Dean! Dean please!" You whimpered, still shaking. Dean ran into your room, gun in hand, ready to pull the trigger at any moment. He lowered his gun and rushed to your side. 

"Y/n, Y/n wake up!" Dean said, brushing your hair out of your face. You balled your fists, still shaking. 

"Baby, you gotta wake up." Dean said, slightly shaking you. You sat up, gasping for air, taking in your surroundings. 

"Hey, hey. You're okay. It's okay baby." Dean cooed, brushing your hair. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You pulled him in for a hug, sobbing into his chest. He held you there, gently rocking you back and forth and whispering sweet nothings to you. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asked. You wiped your eyes and slowly nodded. 

"I've been having the same nightmare...we're walking in a park at night, everything is picture-perfect..." You slightly chuckled.

"I turn around for a second and...you're gone. When I finally find you, you're with the demon. She's in your arms, with blood all over you guys." You said, looking away from Dean. 

"When I look down, Sam and Cas are there, bleeding out. Every time I try to save them...the demon would come after me, choking me. I call out for you, but you just stand there...smiling." You said as more tears began to fall. You felt Dean's hand lift your chin. 

"Hey, look at me." Dean said. You looked at him, he looked tired and worried.

"You're okay. It's just a dream. Sammy and Cass are okay, I'm okay." He said with a small smile. He said as his thumb brushed your cheek. He placed a small kiss on your forehead. You look up at him, holding his hand that was placed on your cheek. You held your breath and took a leap of faith and kissed him. Dean didn't hesitate to kiss you back. The kiss became more heated as Dean climbed onto the bed and pulled you onto his lap. The need for air became too much, you two reluctantly pulled away. You leaned onto his chest, looking up at him with a smile.

"Dean...I uh. I'm sorry...for not telling you about-" You started, but Dean pressed a kiss to your lips, stopping you. 

"Don't. I told you. I'm the one that messed up okay?" Dean said, hugging your waist. You shook your head. 

"No...that's not it...I just.." You took a deep breath and laced your hand in Dean's.

"I...I met this guy named Matt when I was in France...he was really nice to me. About a year later, we were...dating." You said, looking at your bedsheets. 

"It was great...he was a sweetheart..and a hunter. I really hate to say this...but I guess the reason I started dating him was to get over you..." You said quietly, squeezing Dean's hand. 

"One day he changed...he was more distant. I...he was drunk one day, I accidentally broke a beer bottle he was drinking. He snapped and...h-hit me..." You said, slightly turning away from Dean. 

"I tried leaving him...but then he threatened to kill me and my friends over there. I tried to knock him out, but he got me faster. He locked me in his basement for a week...barely gave me anything to eat, whenever I was about to fall asleep, he would pour water on me. I asked him why he was doing this...then his eyes..." 

"Flashed black?" Dean whispered. 

"There were shards of red in those black eyes...I know we deal with monsters every day but...that was the scariest thing I've ever seen." You whispered. Dean rubbed your arm and pulled you close.

"It went on for months...things got worse and worse...once he got me weak enough he..." Your voice began to shake

"He would inject his blood into me..." You said as tears began to fall

"Turns out, I was his 5th victim...he forced four other girls to take his blood, all of them died they couldn't handle demon blood in them. And I knew that if I didn't escape soon, it would kill me..." You said as more tears fell. You brought your knees up to your chin. 

"My friend Damien saved me...he's the one that gave me this necklace" You said as you toyed with it.

"Another two year, I got clean and stronger. And I've somehow found a way to put this behind me...It's just that, there are some days where I feel like the monster." You cried. Deans arms wrapped around you, he crossed his legs and pulled you close.

"Ssh, hey no. You aren't a monster. It wasn't your fault." Dean mumbled into your hair.

"If anything, this was all my fault." Dean said. You looked up at him and shook your head. 

"That bitch tricked us...it's their fault. Not ours. Hell, they a slipped a love pill...makes the user fall in love with the first person they see in your drink..." You said with a slight chuckle. Dean groaned.

"Seriously? I knew that beer shouldn't have tasted rosy..." Dean grimaced. You giggled. Dean laughed along. You slung your arms around his neck, he gently wiped the tears from your cheeks and kissed your forehead. 

"I love you..." You whispered, holding your breath, waiting for his response.

"I love you too, sweetheart." Dean said before kissing you. You smiled into the kiss, happy knowing that everything was going to be okay. You wondered why you were ever worried about telling Dean. You felt the weight lift from your shoulders. You knew you two would be okay, no matter what happened. You had your little family here, and you couldn't ask for more. 

Dean was finally happy. Sam was happy Dean found something to be happy about, and even happier to call you his sister-in-law. Even Cas happy for you guys. 

You weren't weak, not anymore.

Aaannd done! I really had fun writing this story, I thought this was the best way to end it. I kinda wanna make one-shots of Sam, Cas, and Dean. But right now I'm working on another book called Eunoia for y'all that like Spencer Reid (Criminal minds) lol. If I get enough people that want one shot's I'll definitely make it. Thanks for 2.2k reads!!! ♥♥♥

-Squish💕