Lyrics

Andrew grinned from ear to ear as I dropped two filthy pieces of paper on the table we were having lunch at in LA. It had been nearly two weeks since the Grammys. Two whole weeks of me secluding myself in Toronto, writing and working out, working out and writing. And in between those things, I was trawling through Camila's posts about her holidays and award shows. I was obsessed, everything about her was fuelling my lyrics and I guessed that's what Andrew was smiling about.

"I've been writing." I stated, rather obviously. He was reading the lyrics, tapping his foot at the invisible beat. He still hadn't said anything, but his smile was now replaced by a little frown. I was getting nervous; he was a man of few words but this was just agonising. "Andrew?" I risked.

He looked up at me, as though remembering I was there.
"Shawn my boy, should I be worried about you?" He laughed; a bit more reserved than usual. What did he think was going on here?
I laughed back, equally nervous, "Erm no, why?"
"It's just, these lyrics are intense..." He trailed off, reading some of the lines a bit closer. "And I'm hoping you have a plan for how you're going to get you and Camila in the same room to try finish Señorita?" He stated, shuffling between the pages.

"Ok, I'll explain. The first page is my next song, a single. The words sound a bit intense yeah, but the melody I've got in my head is anything but." I was so excited and I was probably talking too fast. "I want it to be upbeat, excited, hopeful." I qualified. He nodded, as though he knew exactly where my mind was. He'd been with me since my first album, he probably did know what was going on in my mind.

"The second is some of the words Camila and I wrote for Señorita together, plus a couple of extra lines I threw in recently. I chatted to Camila after the Grammys and she agreed to trying to finish it, at the very least." He looked nervous again, like he knew this was a rabbit hole I just couldn't resist putting myself in. I carried on talking, not letting his paternal frown get in my way. "We think it needs some work with some other writers, but we don't want to lose these original lines." I said, hoping I was making my point strongly enough, otherwise Latin Sass would kill me.

He was nodding slowly. "If I Can't Have You..." He mused at the title of the song "Does she know?" Andrew had always loved Camila, loved her energy and work ethic and he probably knew how I felt about her way before I even did, but he'd never asked me out-right whether all my songs about her were a good idea or not. I wasn't sure what his thoughts were about it. I faltered.

"Not exactly. I've told her how I feel, a bit. But she doesn't know about the song." I suddenly felt a bit guilty.

He only nodded before adding, "This song could, well it could change things, to put it mildly."
I scoffed, "Andrew, she's never acknowledged that any of my other material has been about her, why would she start now?!" It made me feel a bit sick to admit that.

He stared at me for a while before pulling the Señorita page, "Well, if If I Can't Have You doesn't change that, then Señorita certainly will! These lyrics are sexy as fuck Shawn!" He whispered urgently, aware of the people at the table next to us.

I was lost, was my manager about to turn down songs from me? Had I misjudged this completely? "I don't understand?" I finally said, running my hands through my hair nervously.

He let out a long, shaky breath. "I fully endorse both these songs Shawn. After In My Blood, you need an upbeat pop anthem in the performance repertoire, especially one we can add to the tour set list." My jaw dropped slightly, how had he already calculated that sort of success and stamina in one song, for the rest of my year? I guessed it was one of the reasons I had him as a manger...

"The Señorita situation is more complicated." I laughed bitterly in response; boy was he right about that. "I know you love her and want to be with her but she's another person, in another relationship." He said sternly "We release this song and the media will have a field day with the two of you and relationship rumours. Has she considered that? Have you?" He asked seriously.

I stared at him for a long time before taking a deep breath and shaking my head. "No, you're right. It's risky. But I think we just want to get it written and recorded, then decide later, when it's done, whether we even want to release it." He still looked unconvinced, so I continued, "We need to get this out of our system, Andrew. I admit, I don't have a fucking clue where we are at with each other, but I know that we both love this song and need it finished before we can make any further decisions." I said, trying to convince myself as well as him.

We were suddenly in some sort of battle of the wills stare-off. Finally, he broke and said, "Who would you like to add lyrics to Señorita then?"

I smiled, feeling accomplished. We started mapping out when I could record If I Can't Have You and who would help with Señorita. I left LA a few days later, after meeting with some of the other writers and Face-Timing Camila with them. Then I was off, heading to Europe for the start of my world tour and feeling like a heavy weight of emotion had been lifted; Señorita was a go.