The Expendables

There are two ways to look at everything from a normal person's point of view, the glass is either half full or half empty. But being an architecture aspirant I have learned to look at things from many points of view. I look at the good, the bad and find out the average. I've learned to find happiness in my singleness, joy in music and peace in my life along with acceptance of me being expendable.

"Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other." The serenity prayer, which is used by recovering alcoholics, should really be incorporated into teenager's lives. We are kids excited to get out in the world and conquer it but not quite ready. We take everything to the heart, we feel every feeling out there. We feel happiness to ecstatic levels and sadness to an immeasurable amount. We are often overwhelmed by our surroundings which are constantly changing, people who are constantly leaving. In this madness we sometimes go from having some value to becoming expendable. We go from having people who care about us and like us and like to spend time with us to having no one. We go from regular calls to rare calls. And It's no one's fault actually. Its life. People outgrow each other and find new friends. It's a law of nature, survival of the fittest. And sometimes you are just not it. Not good enough to be missed, not good enough to have any value. Expendable. Replaced with something or someone better. There's nothing you can do about it but accept it and move on. That's not easy either.

Suddenly being alone and accepting it is not human nature. We are social creatures of who crave interaction. We need touch, stimulation and intimacy in any form. And when we don't get it, we get depressed. Self-harm comes to the mind along with Bad thoughts. We feel useless, ignored suicidal. What most people do then is reminisce about old times , the happier days, the ones before their shelf life ran out. The other thing we can do is get over it and accept it.

When we accept that we can't change shit, our life changes. You start looking at things in ways you never before thought possible. You find solace in the silence left behind by the ghosts of your past. The best part: you can finally stop giving it your all. You can stop trying to get them back and stop trying to still be in their life. Once you accept your expendableness, you start living a little better. You stop crying over everything and getting sad due to nothing. You accept the things you have no power over and live a little better. You start living again without being dependent on anyone. And in my opinion, there's nothing better than that.

DISCLAIMER:the writer is almost 18 and yes she has ghosts in her past.