Once upon a time, a couple lived in a modest house, in a suburb not far from Sydney’s city centre. They had just one child, a beautiful girl who loved both her parents very much. The girl’s father had a steady job, and, as a result, her mother had never needed to work. She had always had a perfect life; two parents she was very close to, and who loved each other, and great friends. But when she turned fourteen, her world changed for the worse.
Every day Nicole felt more and more tired. This went on for months, but she thought it was all the stress from her homework so she said nothing. When her parents found out, they were worried. Nicole had also started feeling constantly unwell, and she got aches and pains in her arms and legs. After a week, there were still no visible signs of improvement, so her parents took her to the doctor. She had a blood test done and an x-ray taken. The doctor, like Nicole’s parents, was worried about her, and seemed to believe the symptoms indicated something more serious than a virus.
Three days later, the Jones’ went back to the doctor’s surgery. The doctor sat them down and began. “I’m afraid the results are not good.” He fixed his attention solely on Nicole. “You have what’s known as Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. It is rare in girls your age, but not impossible. ALL, as it is usually referred to, stops your body from producing healthy blood cells. I am terribly sorry.” Nicole knew at that point that there was going to be no end. She was going to be in pain for the rest of her life, and when her body couldn’t take it any longer, she was going to die. Nobody would care. ‘Stupid Leukaemia,’ she screamed inside her head.
Nicole trudged off to school the following Monday, half wishing the Leukaemia would take over her body then, and kill her so she wouldn’t have to endure all the pain, the emotional pain that she was going to have to deal with every day for the rest of her life. Nicole had started her chemotherapy on the weekend and she was starting to lose her hair. At school, her friends greeted her with cheerful smiles, as they always did, and were about to delve into a conversation about what had happened on the weekend, when one of Nicole’s best friends Rhiannon pointed out that some of her hair was missing. She was looking for an explanation.
“I, uh I…” She took a deep breath and tried again. It felt as though her whole throat had closed up. “I just found out on the weekend.” Her friends stared at her blankly, still not comprehending the severity of the situation. “I have Leukaemia.”
“Ahhhh!” Sarah let out an ear-piercing scream. Nicole could feel their eyes, piercing deeply into her. Everyone in her group just stared, open-mouthed at her, as though she was an alien from another planet. Their faces reflected the sheer horror they felt that one of their closest friends had a life-threatening disease.
“Well,” Rhiannon paused, “that explains the hair thing I suppose, but I think I speak for all of us when I say: bye Nicole.” That was it. They didn’t even wait for her reaction. They were gone, just like that. “Ew, Leukaemia, isn’t that, like, some disgusting disease that old people get?” Nicole could hear Rhiannon saying as they walked away, and then came the roar of laughter and a final, “Ugh, freak!” to seal the deal. The friendship was over. The pain hit then.
Unlike the weekend, the rest of the week could not have gone any slower. The only time people even talked to her was to tease incessantly her about her disease, which they seemed to take pleasure in. Nicole’s so-called friends hadn’t wasted any time telling people about her condition. She didn’t even like to think the word. Every time she did, she broke down in tears.
Her parents took her straight to the hospital after school on Monday so the nurses could first take a look at the monstrous bruise on her arm that had developed from her falling in PE class. They checked her over quickly, then called in the doctor. He took another blood test to check how her blood was reacting to the chemotherapy.
“I can see you are very frail just from looking at you. If you want to get better, you are going to need to quit any sports you are involved in. I know this is going to be hard for you, but you have to understand that the last thing you need right now is to be wearing yourself out. The chemo has taken a lot out of you and you really need to look after yourself.” That was the last thing she wanted to do. She hated herself. She was a loser with a disease. She had no friends, and now she couldn’t even play sports.
As per the doctor’s orders, Nicole gave up sports. She took good care of herself, and realised that the only reason she did it was for her parents. She couldn’t bear to upset them more than she knew she already had. They were everything she had. They had stood by her, always loved her and been there for her, even if she didn’t deserve it, and she knew that when she was gone, they wouldn’t forget her. They were the only ones who wouldn’t. She didn’t care about herself anymore, but she needed to care, needed to keep living and leave her parents with some good memories of their daughter being happy, even in her final days. That was how she wanted to be remembered. She owed them at least that much. In fact, she owed them much, much more, but those opportunities had passed.
On Wednesday, she, yet again, trudged off to the doctor’s. It had become routine as of the past few weeks, but this today felt different. Nicole had a new perspective on life. The bullying at school had continued, but she had taken no notice. She didn’t care what they thought.
They called, “Disease, or loser leukaemia!” without fail, every time she walked past, but still she did not give in to their petty teasing. ‘Her parents were all that mattered,’ she reminded herself every time it happened. Nicole and her parents took their regular seats in the doctor’s office. It felt like the first day they had come to see about Nicole being unwell, and with sudden clarity, Nicole realised it was not her new perspective that had her feeling different. The bad news was waited for her with open arms.
The doctor spoke just as he had the first day, confirming her assumption. “The blood test results have shown that the chemo-therapy has been of no use. The white blood cells in you body are dividing rapidly and not maturing. They are out of control. There is nothing more we can do.” He paused. Nicole could tell something was coming that he didn’t want to have to say. “Nicole, you have just two months to live.” He said this with a sad tone to his voice.
Nicole couldn’t remember anything after that point until... she was currently in excruciating pain. She looked around the room. She could see a calendar on the wall that read, August. The day in June at the doctor’s surgery was the last thing she could remember caring about until then. The pain had been there before, but it had been numbed. She withdrew her eyes from the wall and looked down to see her parents sitting in chairs just across from where she lay. Worried expressions plastered their faces. Nicole hated to see her parents like this, especially when it was her fault. Not that this had been her choice. She knew she only had minutes left, judging by the way she felt, and she knew her parents would appreciate her dying goodbye. ‘Will it make it harder for them?’ Nicole thought to herself. ‘No, I definitely have to say goodbye, if not for their benefit, then for mine.’
“Mummy and daddy, can I speak to you both for a minute?” She began, dazed. “I know I don’t have long left.” Her mother opened her mouth to speak, but Nicole silently held up her hand and continued. She knew what she would have said anyway, and it just would have made it harder for her. “Before I die, I just want you to know how thankful I am for you always being there for me, no matter what I did, and no matter what happened to me. I’ve never had the chance to say thankyou before, for everything, and sorry for the times I was horrid.” She took her last breath. “I love y…” She never got the chance to finish her sentence. Nicole Jones was dead.
The next thing she knew, she was in heaven. Around her were all her friends and family. They crowded around her in a circle. They were all smiling at her. Everything was the way it had been before, only better. Nicole felt fantastic. She had friends once more, who cared if she lived or died. All the things she had taken for granted before now seemed like priceless gifts. Everything was perfect. It was insignificant, her having a disease. Her friends had been stupid. They should have stood by her anyway. Now it was time for Nicole, who had died happily ever after.
