THE FEAR PROJECT ? jonathan crane

no clearance

Things with Dr. Crane quickly settled into a lifeless routine over the next few days; Theo would come in bright and early and do his paperwork in silence while he went off to see his patients and do whatever was required of him as head physician of Arkham. She didn't like it one bit but who could she complain to? She doubted anyone would occupy themselves with bailing out an intern out of her assigned tasks, regardless of how boring they might be. They had bigger fish to fry.

"Good morning, Dr. Crane," Theo greeted that morning, giving the tightest of smiles. "More paperwork for me today?"

She hadn't meant to come across as bitter, but Dr. Crane narrowed his eyes in contempt. "Yes. There's a lot more files you need to sort through." He pushed his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose and continued writing what looked like a patient report.

Theo sat down and began to look over her assigned files diligently. It only took her a few seconds to realize that the novelty of the job had worn off and that she wasn't happy at all. This wasn't what she had in mind when she signed up to work at Arkham.

"Dr. Crane," she began, "I was wondering when I'm going to start assisting you with your patients?"

He raised a scornful eyebrow at her. "And what makes you think you're ready for that?"

Theo frowned. "I've had enough training to know what kind of questions to ask," she said.

"This isn't a lecture hall, Miss Novak. This is Arkham and the people we keep locked up in here will eat you alive."

For a second, Theo forgot how to breathe. His eyes were like ice, making the blood in her veins freeze viciously.

"I know," Theo said. "I'm not scared."

Dr. Crane's expression shifted from annoyance to that of misplaced amusement. Theo couldn't understand what was so funny.

"Let's hope not."

He got up and started gathering his things.

"Where are you going?"

"Really not your business, Miss Novak."

Theo wanted to scream; her words had flown past Dr. Crane's head and planted her back at square one. She watched as he left her alone in his office again, shutting the door on both her and their conversation.

Not this time. Theo wasn't having it.

She waited three, four, five minutes until she was certain Dr. Crane wouldn't be coming back, and then quietly slipped out of his office. She could hear faint murmurs from down the hallway, coming from the other doctors' offices, and when she was sure there was no one around to catch her leaving, Theo cautiously began heading down the Processing Corridor to the reception desk.

Bill's face lit up slightly at the sight of her. "How may I help you today, Miss Novak?"

She flashed him an innocent smile. "I was just wondering where Dr. Crane went," she said. "I forgot to ask him about one of his filing systems."

"He's gone down to Blackgate Penitentiary," Bill replied. "He's been treating some of the inmates there. Didn't he tell you?"

There was a sour taste in Theo's mouth. "No, he didn't."

"I'm sorry, Miss. I don't think he has a cellphone either. If he does, his number's not in our records."

No means of contacting him. How convenient, Theo thought.

"Thanks, Bill."

"Oh, I almost forgot! Your staff badge, Miss." He handed her a plastic card with her name and a picture of her face. Theo looked at it painfully; she'd taken it right after her second interview after the warden had offered her a position at Arkham. She didn't have a clue back then how awful working with Dr. Crane was really going to be — her naive smile was proof of that.

But upon seeing the words Psychiatric Assistant printed under her name, Theo's face brightened in realization. This badge was a free pass. She didn't need to wait for Dr. Crane to show her the ropes. She could do it all herself.

Theo pinned the badge on the pocket of her sweater and gave Bill the visitor's pass back. She decided Dr. Crane's absence was a good thing.

For now.

*               *               *

Theo took her time with her self-guided tour of the asylum grounds. She tried to carefully make a mental map of the premises, doing her best to remember the layout as accurately as possible.

The floor of Dr. Crane's office didn't constitute of much aside from more offices and a Pacification centre that was slightly too full of doctors for her liking. She figured she would have to introduce herself to them if she stepped foot inside, so she left it off for another day. There was a very high chance they would cut her tour short and tell her to go back to Dr. Crane's office and wait for him, and that was the last thing she needed. Instead, she opted to head to the elevators and go back outside.

The Arkham grounds were swarming with guards. They were everywhere, from outside entry points to the top of high lookout towers. The latter stood statuesquely like sentries, overlooking the courtyard, gun in hand. Should anything happen – heaven forbid – Theo was glad for the armament.

It didn't take her too long to go through the Arkham Mansion; there weren't many offices there except for the warden's and a few other doctors. It made Theo wonder why Dr. Crane's office was buried in the basement levels of Intensive Treatment. He was the head physician – surely, he was somewhere at the top of the staff hierarchy. And yet, his workspace held none of the prestige that came with his name.

The Botanical Gardens didn't interest her much, so she headed for the West side of the island towards the Medical Facility and the Penitentiary. It was the latter she was most looking forward to.

Theo had read all about the kind of patients she could find behind the closed doors at Arkham, from the violently schizophrenic to the criminally insane, and yet, she wasn't nearly as scared as she should have been at the prospect of coming face-to-face with people who would gut her like an animal if given the chance. There was something fascinating about those impervious to human morality.

As she approached the Penitentiary, she was met with muffled shouts and yells from behind the sealed metal doors.

Wonderful, she thought. Welcome to the madhouse.

But the moment she flashed her badge to one of the guards, he grabbed her forcefully by the arm and pulled her back.

"You don't have any clearance to go in there," he barked.

Theo put on her most doe-eyed expression. "But I'm Dr. Crane's intern."

"And Dr. Crane isn't here to supervise you." He narrowed his eyes – one of which was milky white and had a deep scar running across the lid – and gave her a shit-eating grin. He reeked of whiskey. "Go back to your desk job, sweetheart."

Theo gritted her teeth and glared as venomously as she could. She yanked her arm out of the guard's grip. Making a note of his name – Boles, as his tag showed – she slowly started walking back towards the Intensive Treatment building.

The whole day was starting to feel like a waste. She had nothing else to do until Dr. Crane came back except finish the paperwork he'd assigned her, and she sure as hell couldn't take another minute of it. If he weren't so damn attractive, she might have even quit. Other clinics were most definitely going to take her.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Oh, no, she thought. She was already starting to consider Dr. Crane's looks more often than she should have. She didn't stand a chance with him — and she shouldn't even want to in the first place. He was her boss and pursuing anything with him would only be more trouble than it was worth. She couldn't do that and throw her chance to work at Arkham away. Theo was there for a reason, not to flirt but to make a name for herself.

Pull yourself together, she ordered.

First order of business was to make Dr. Crane trust her. She had to show him that she wasn't a complete waste of his time.

She just had to figure out how.