mattia polibio: my boy

you watched them from your window. your curtains slightly parted so they wouldn't notice. he sat at the edge of his bed, legs apart, allowing her to get closer to his body. she caressed his face and played with his hair, just like you used to. your heart sank and you cried right there on the spot. you tried to look away but you couldn't move.

💭that's my baby...💭

he pulled her in by her waist smiling. his smile was so precious. was happiness something you couldn't give him?

you woke up crying. after having that nightmare of mattia and jenna it reminded you that they literally fucked. they literally had a love life before you and him did.

erika: yo you good?

you looked over at her.

erika: what did you dream about?? you were like, shaking and shit.

out of no where you got the sudden urge to get high. off of something strong. you needed it bad.

💭shit💭

here came your withdrawals.

erika: hey... you ok?

she came over to your bed and held your shaking hand, squeezing it. it was silent for a while.

y/n: well. no one said this was going to be easy.

she laughed.

erika: honestly, i'm just tryna get out of here so i can get high again like i used to. just, not OD. haha. i learned my lesson.

you wanted to laugh, but you couldn't.

y/n: how do you make it look so easy?
erika: make what look so easy?
y/n: healing.
erika: well, i cry in the bathroom and never show it in public. who said it was easy for me?
y/n: what are you, a leo?
erika: what the fuck.... how did you know?

you shrugged your shoulders and laughed.

erika: better hurry up and get ready before they call us for breakfast.
y/n: you right.

you got up and went to brush your teeth and get dressed. you wore a hoodie and sweats. something you've been wearing a whole lot. you walked out the bathroom and got greeted with a staff member.

staff: y/n...?
y/n: yeah?
staff: you have a visitor.

who could it be this time? you weren't in the mood. you were trying to stop your withdrawals symptoms before your therapy session before lily notices.

you followed her out to the front desk and told erika you'd meet up with her later.

then you saw alejandro.

you heart rate sped up and you got hot all of a sudden.

💭what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck 💭

and then the rest of the boys.... except mattia?

they smiled at you and waved. you awkwardly smiled and waved back.

y/n: hi.
alejandro: hey...

silence. he cleared his throat.

alejandro: i wanted- well, we wanted...to say sorry.
y/n: oh um, i'm sorry too.
alejandro: i said things i regret. and i did things i regret. and i'm really fucking sorry.
kairi: us too