SINCE DAY ONE ― luke hemmings ?

12

"It's okay. Nobody's perfect. But can I make a suggestion?" Their attention perked up as I lay down the camera, all waiting for what I'm about to say. "To be able to capture the band, you gotta mean it. You gotta smile like you mean it, you gotta laugh like you do. And have fun with it. It's just a music video. Just try to imagine," My heart begin to race, "Imagine you four are best of friends." Their agreement brought warmth into my chest yet a chuckle from behind me caught my attention.

I turned to see who it was and to my surprise, it was Michael Clifford. Dressed in all black yet his hair was blonde I wanted to pick up a paint and color his hair all kinds of weird. I guess I was just not used to seeing him settle with anything but. "That's a bit poetic of you." He mused, putting a smile on my face albeit still thinking of buying him some hair dyes. The boys behind me scattered about and we were left alone standing behind the hotel in daylight.

"I was making content."

"You weren't filming." He retorted, the silence enveloping us for a minute before I finally collapsed at his chest. A great feeling. It really is. Having to hug your best friend in the middle of a harrowing time of your life is one of the best feelings in the world. I could never ask for more. "I missed you, boo." He murmured, just enough for me to hear.

"I missed you so much, Mikey." I cooed, "Congratulations on your engagement." I heard him chuckle before pulling away, pursing my lips as I could not even begin where to gush about how my best friend who I teased about not having a girlfriend will be the first one to get married out of all of us! Things really do happen when you least expect it.

"Thank you! I've been meaning to do it for so long, you know? I had the guts. Finally did."

"And I'm so happy for you. Really." It took my all not to hug him again and abuse his goodness to—forgive me? Has he already did? I didn't think he'd talk to me if he hasn't. I didn't think Ashton would do the same moments ago if he didn't, too. But I was a bit in the gray area. I couldn't demand for it yet I couldn't take it and take advantage of it again. I was going to disappear after this and this whole thing will be going around in circles again.

I'm afraid.

I couldn't bare the thought of accepting their forgiveness if I knew I was going away after this.

Yet my thoughts were halted when Mikey leaned in on my ear and whispered, "You're invited to my wedding." Shit.

"Oh—I—Thank you, Mikey. I—" Before I could break his heart again and refuse the invitation, a voice called for him, and this time, my heart did laps.

"Mike. Second location. Let's go." I didn't wanna look to save us all the time and the heartbreak but consider me selfish for not listening to my head when my heel turned and followed the direction of Michael, leaning in to brush my hair the final time before he boarded up the stairs towards my—towards Luke.

And same as ever, every time I had the most fortunate chance of looking at him, I was back to zero again.

I love him still, and maybe always will.

-

I figured I was far from making reason and too far from regrets that riding at the van together with my supposed partner that I couldn't find a while ago while stumbling around and avoiding the band, and my boss who I didn't have the luck of meeting the same, I figured I could just go to hell with it.

Beating around the bush wasn't going to make me productive and I get paid to do this. I wasn't gonna get paid for avoiding them when it's my actual job to interact with them that the minute I took a step out of the van did I follow the way where Kyle was going. "Huh, had a change of heart?" He mused, a cigarette on one hand while the camera dangles over his other. I widened the gap between us, figuring that I didn't need another cancer in my only life.