Please Delete [?]

Jeno let out a heavy sigh as he flopped down onto his bed, turning his head to check the time on his clock.

12:45

He sat up and looked at the things laying on the bed beside him. Two granola bars and a bag of banana slices. He bit his bottom lip at the sight, feeling a pain in his stomach at the thought. If he ate anymore he felt like he might throw up.

He reached out and took hold of one of the granola bars, looking at the packaging that showed a detailed close-up of the food. He turned it over to check the calories on the back.

130 calories.

Sweet Jesus, I can't eat that shit.. Does he want me to look like a pig? He thought to himself, taking both of the bars and throwing them away in the trash can beside his bed. He looked at the banana slices and sighed before picking them up, tossing them in the trash with the other food. They would've gone bad fast anyways.. They won't be missed. With another heavy sigh, which he seemed to be doing a lot of today, he willed himself to stand on shaky legs and walk to his bathroom.

When he got there he stopped and looked in the mirror, a frown on his face as he looked at every feature of himself that he had learned to hate.

His eyes. His lips. His cheeks. His ears. His nose. His neck. His chest...

His stomach.

He sniffled a bit as he felt tears welling in his eyes. Grabbing the bottom of his shirt and lifting it over his head to look at his body. The tears began to roll down his cheeks when he saw himself. When he saw his ugly, fat-looking self. He needed to lose more. He needed to be better.

And now he had someone to be better for.

Na Jaemin.

He would get prettier for Na Jaemin. He would make himself more perfect for Na Jaemin. He nodded and took the scale out of His bathroom drawer, setting it on the ground and stepping onto it. He watched the numbers go up and up until they stopped.

98?! Oh my god, how? I swear I was just 96... He frowned more and groaned at the number, stepping off the scale and sliding to the floor with a whine. I need a lower goal... What's a good goal... He gasped when he thought of one.

90. I'll get down to 90 and then go from there.. He thought to himself with a sure nod. He stood up and walked into his room, forgetting to put a shirt on as he hurriedly went to his desk and opened the top drawer. He pulled out one of his notebooks and opened it to the next empty page, writing at the top Weight Goal. He then underneath it wrote from :( 98  - 90 :). He smiled a bit to himself and nodded, writing underneath it what he had eaten that day.

1 banana slice

He felt a tired smile on his face when he only had one thing to record, nodding and standing up.

He suddenly saw his vision blurring at the edges and became extremely lightheaded. He tried to sit back down on his chair but missed it when he lost his balance and fell hard on the floor. He whimpered at the feeling, listening to things crash off his desk and wincing when something almost fell on his head. He was breathing heavily and shook his head, crawling hurriedly to the bathroom and putting back on his shirt. If somebody heard that and came upstairs, they couldn't see him... They couldn't see how fat his stomach had gotten.

Or at least, how fat he thought it had gotten.

Feeling out of energy he sat against the counter on the floor with a huff, closing his eyes and catching his breath the best he could. He reached up and wiped stray tears from his eyes with a boney hand, smiling to himself contentedly as he remembered his new goal.

90. He could get to 90... For Jaemin.

Just then he heard his bedroom door swing open.

"Jeno? Jeno are you okay? Your mom is worried.." Jeno opened his eyes at the voice, answering back shakily.

"Y-yeah! I'm alright. I just fell is all but I'm okay..." He heard quick steps towards the bathroom and opened his eyes, still hazed with tunnel vision, to see Jaemin standing in the doorway. He smiled as best he could and nodded. "I'm alright Jaemin, really don't worry." The younger shook his head and sat down beside Jeno, reaching over and pulling the boy into his lap. The Taurus boy gladly accepted, feeling a bit better with this boy next to him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Jeno nodded and closed his eyes again. He seriously felt like he could fall asleep right there if he wanted..

"Just fine." They sat for a moment in silence before the younger spoke again.

"Jeno, why is the scale out?" He asked softly, rubbing the boy's back. He had learned in the short time they had known each other since yesterday that it was like a silent way of telling Jeno that everything was alright. That he could take his time and that the younger wouldn't leave his side. He felt the boy tense a bit in his hold and swallow, taking a moment to debate whether he should tell Jaemin.

"I was... It's nothing.." He said, the last part being spoken softly as he melted more into Jaemin's warm hold.

"Can I.. Know how much you weigh right now?" He asked gently. He could tell Jeno didn't like that question by the way he shifted and whined a bit. He nodded. "If you don't wanna tell me yet that's alright." Jeno nodded.

"It's embarrassing. I don't want you to tell anyone."

"I promise I won't. Everything I have found out and will find out is gonna stay just between us.. Is that okay? Do you trust me?" The older sat for a moment before sighing.

"Yeah...."

There was a moment of silence that went on for a while, the two of them just enjoying the other's company. Jaemin just wanted to take care of Jeno and the older was realizing how much he missed this warmth...

"N-.... Ninety-eight.."

"What baby?"

"I weigh N-Ninety-eight pounds....." Jeno squeaked out. Jaemin's eyes widened.

"Oh, Jeno... Baby-"

"I'm sorry, I know it's a lot I'm trying to fix it please don't leave me." He begged suddenly, tears falling down his face as he looked up at Jaemin with desperate eyes. "Please.. I swear I'll lose it quickly. Just wait and don't leave me you'll be s-so proud when I get there." Jaemin shook his head.

"Jeno, that isn't a lot. That's so low.. Do you wanna know how much I weigh baby? I weigh 149 pounds and I'm still considered on the low side of the spectrum. Jeno please you need to stop.." Jeno went silent again, still crying as he thought about the youngers words.

"I just want to reach my next goal..." He whispered. Jaemin frowned at the thought of the boy in his hold getting any thinner.

"And can I know what that is sweetheart?" He asked softly. Jeno shook his head and buried his face in the youngers chest.

"It's a s-surprise.." He whispered. "And I p-promise you'll l-like it...."

It was a surprise and he was excited to show Jaemin when the time came..

If it let him get that far.

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