Portal: Love as a Construct

Part 115. The Guns

"You should probably know that I told Carrie I'd take her to Pandora," said Claptrap without preamble, rolling into the room as though they'd been waiting for him to do so. GLaDOS, who had been in the middle of telling Wheatley what a moron he was for somehow managing to lose this game of Monopoly for nine years straight, froze entirely. Wheatley looked between them anxiously. He wished Claptrap had given him a head's-up on this.

"I wanted to do something nice! You know, as thanks for all her help! And that was what she said she wanted, soooo... yeah. That's happening."

"I see," said GLaDOS, but Claptrap just kept talking.

"We're going in four days 'cause Alyx is coming too and that's when she's free. It'll be for a couple nights and we won't go anywhere super dangerous. And we won't let her touch anything! I know it's me we're talking about, but you do not have to worry at all."

"Of course I do," GLaDOS said. "It's part of the job."

"My thinking is so clear right now," said Claptrap, earnestly moving closer to her, but she didn't look. "I hardly ever have my thoughts lined up all nice like this! But if I'm gonna take her, it's gotta be now before all that wears off. Whatever that is. This might never happen to me again!"

"That makes sense," said GLaDOS, very noncommittally.

"... like I said, she wants to go." He had started rubbing his hands together. "But if you really, really aren't cool with it, I'll make something up. Or I'll try to. She's a lot smarter than me, so –"

"She can make her own decisions." GLaDOS finished moving her boat and selected the top card from the appropriate pile with a very manufactured casualness. "That's what adults do."

"Yeah, and being someone's kid means you hope your parents're on board with those decisions. I think."

"Does she think I'm not?" GLaDOS asked, staring at her card as though she had suddenly forgotten how to read.

"She's pretty sure if I can't convince you, she can."

"Then there's no problem." She took the card and put it next to her meticulously organised bills, which meant it was one of the 'get out of gaol free' ones.

"I'll do my best to keep her from getting so much as a scratch!" Claptrap said, talking a little faster, and to be honest Wheatley was not entirely convinced by GLaDOS's supposed acceptance of this announcement himself. He would have expected at least a little arguing. Or at least anger about not having been informed beforehand. "I am really taking this seriously! I know what a big deal this is for you and I swear I will not mess it up."

"I don't think you do," said GLaDOS.

"You're nooooot really being too clear about it," Claptrap said. She finally looked over at him.

"We've never really been separated before," said GLaDOS. "When I sent her away we were apart, but I wasn't really... conscious of it. It's going to be... strange, and... oh, I don't even know how to put it." She shook her core and told Wheatley to take his turn, which he had totally forgotten to do. He pressed the button on the randomiser and counted out the spaces it allotted to him, which landed him... in gaol. He frowned. Seemed as though he could use that card right about now.

"Now I'm starting to feel bad," Claptrap was saying.

"If there was ever a time to refrain from doing those incredibly stupid things you're so fond of," GLaDOS said, "this would be that time. I don't think you understand what it would do to me if she didn't come back."