????? ??? ??? | taejin

38: fulfilled

Kim Seokjin

"yea sure" i said even though i suddenly felt nervous

i then decided to sat on the edge of his bed while he decided to sit beside me

"d-do we have any p-problem?" i ask him while looking on the floor

"h-hyung im sorry" he said that made me confused so then i looked at him

"huh? why?" i said totaly confused

"im sorry for not keeping up with our promise hyung" he said and he looked down

oh, our promise.

"oh uh, it's ok tae haha, dont make it a big deal" i said and i also looked down because i felt my heart ached

"not a big deal? hyung it's our PROMISE, how is it not a big deal?" he said with a bit of bitterness on his voice

"tae it's ok, i know that a promise should be fullfilled but tae, i want you to be happy, i just want the best for you taehyung-ah, just be happy it's ok for me even if that means that our promise wouldnt be fullfilled" i said while looking at him, a bit smiling even though i felt tears in my eyes

"hyung im s-sorry" he said and i saw tears falls into his face

"h-hey tae, d-dont cry" i said and i held his hands

he jumped a bit because of the sudden action

"h-hyung im really sorry" he said while crying that made me cry too

i then exhaled and i let go of his hand so i can wipe my tears

i then smiled

"hey dont cry, it's ok you know, just be happy ok?, i more wanted to see you happy than to see you unhapoy just because you need to fulfill our promise" i said and he looked at me and he wiped his tears

"am i selfish hyung?" he said

"what? n-no your n-not" i said and he just smiled

"you know what hyung" he stopped for a bit and he looked on his window

"when you moved to busan i literally cried everyday, i missed you so much, and i really wanted to see you, i cried because i missed you and because im scared" he said then he looked at me and he smilled

i then became confused, why is he scared?

"hyung im scared, im scared that after years and when we finally met again, you already found someone, someone you really love and someone that is better than me" he said and i felt my heart broke into pieces

and i started crying again

"we're not communicating anymore and there's always a thought in my head saying that you already found someone, that you already love someone else hyung" he said

"jimin and jungkook knew that i also cry everynight so they decided to set me up for blind dates, at first, i dont really want to but then a thought came in my mind, it says that i should try dating so that maybe in the future when we see each other again then we're both happy, and no one will be hurt and that we'll stay as best friends" he also said that made my heart broke more

because of me, he cried everynight, and he's hurt, all of this is my fault.

"when they first started setting me up for dates, nothing worked and there's something that is telling me that i shouldn't date but i ignored that thought. Then after years i met jisoo, we didn't know each other for too long but i thought she's the one for me, because she made me so happy, but im wrong" he said still looking at the window