I Don't Love You Too

I trudged home through the snow, wheeling my bike along and letting my head hang down. Nothing could be worse than this. Boy, was I wrong.

I opened the door to face my father, staring down at me with his eyes that were specially reserved for when I'd done something particularly bad. I started to speak, but he silenced me the moment my mouth opened.

"Of all the irresponsible -"

"I was trying to get someone to hospital and save them from dying! How is that irresponsible?"

"Because it's midnight! You could have been killed!"

"I wasn't though, was I?"

"That's not the point Hiccup!" My father was roaring in my ear and it only made me want to end my life more. "Are you listening to me?"

"Not really, no." My life was terrible enough as it was, it wouldn't hurt to make it any worse, would it?

"And what -" my dad's spit started hitting my face as he hissed through clenched teeth, "can you possibly be thinking about now that is more important than -"

"Merida broke up with me."

My father fell silent. He stopped speaking and drew away, his eyes softening.

"How, how did it happen, son?"

I looked into his eyes, wide and understanding now. He knew what it was like to have someone you loved disappear without reason. I sighed and told him the whole story, from Astrid's call, to the hospital, to her kissing me, to Merida running away. He didn't speak, only listened intently. When I was finished he nodded silently.

"I'm, I'm sorry - son..."

"Don't be."

"I knew Astrid was a bad sort -"

"She's not, she's just jealous. She thought I meant more than I did. I was comforting her in the waiting room and she obviously thought that I liked her again. Then she - she kissed me and Merida -"

I couldn't take it any longer. I sank into one of the kitchen chairs and buried my head in my hands. My dad sat beside me and placed his hand on my head.

"I promise son, it's going to be fine."

"It's not though, is it?!" I shouted, smashing my fist on the table. "She's never going to listen to me now! It took so long just to get her trust, and now this happens? It was going so well..."

I broke down again and my dad didn't speak. I was glad. I just needed to know he was there. (play music now)

"I'm going to bed." I said to my dad. "Or try to anyway." He nodded and I climbed the stairs to my room. I plugged my headphones into my mobile and pressed play immedietly, not caring what came up. That changed the moment I heard the song playing.

Why do I love you? Why do I care?

I keep on chasing you; I'm going nowhere.

Why can't I hate you? Why don't I dare?

Thought I saw an angel, but there ain't nothing there.

I buried my head in my pillow so it would muffle the yell of hurt that escaped my mouth. My heart was breaking all over again and this song really wasn't helping. I couldn't stop thinking about how stupid I was, how ridiculous and useless I was. I had worked so hard to get Merida and one kiss had broken it all. Real smooth Hiccup. Real smooth.

Real hearts don't feel this pain, let it go, let it go

Real hearts don't feel this strain, let it go, let it go