The Story of Brae Lothbrok

The next morning I took a walk with my mother around the camp. Ubbe was still sleeping and Ivar and Lilja were fishing in the river. I wanted to talk to her about rejecting Ubbe. Yes, I do think the two of them together is wrong, but I also can't see her with another man outside of our family. I know she does not want to remarry for she is still deeply in love with Ivar and Hvitserk. 

"Maybe you don't have to remarry..." I said.

She chuckled, "This isn't about marriage, son, it's the idea of it." 

"Do you love him?" I asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"What?"

"Do you love him, mother?" I asked, slightly more confident. My mother turned her head for a moment and paused for a second. She then turned back to me.

"I can't lie, I do love him, but-" she nodded, picking at her lip, "I feel terrible loving another after Ivar and Hvitserk, epecially their traitorous brother."

I chuckled, "I thought you've forgiven him?"

"I have, but not Hvitserk and I know Ivar wouldn't either." 

"Ah!" I nodded, "Everyone was so keen onto making me forgive him..." I muttered.

"I forgave Ubbe...but I'm not stupid," My mother glared down at me.

"Do you fear he might try to claim the throne?" I asked softly.

We looked over to Ubbe who struggled to get out of the tent and rise up to stretch. He stumbled back slightly as he grabbed the tent to balance himself out. We giggled a little bit and then realized he just a man. He is old now and the last of the Lothbroks; we should cherish him.

"I can't help but to think that you two need each other right now more than ever," I said. 

"Hmm," she looked up at me and caressed my hair, "My son, you have grown very wise indeed, I know your fathers are looking down at you watching your every step." 

I smiled, "It feels as though sometimes they are right beside me."

--

As a father, sometimes I feel there are things my daughter should not see, and I tend to shield her away. Other times, I know it's right for her to see the things this world has. Such as beheadings of traitors or the sacrifices we make to the Gods. It might complex her in believing her Christian God, but after all that, she has seen in the past few days. I do believe she has abandoned her Christian values and sided more with Odin and the Pagan values that are so rich in history.

At first during the sacrificing ceremony when they were killing the animals, she had a crazed look in her eyes that reminded me so much of Ivar. Unlike the other children who flinched when the ax came down, Lilja did not even move a muscle. It was unusual for a child of her age to pleasure in such things that she would be against at home.

"She is Ivar's granddaughter after all..." My mother said, leaning in.

"Yes, but she is also Olga's daughter." I picked up Lilja removing her from the trance spell. 

"I just want her to know how to defend herself and fight for herself, she does not need to learn how to become a monster," I said to my mother.

"You call your father a monster?" Ubbe said, stepping in. "I believe fatherhood has softened you." I look at Lilja and noticed her sweet exterior coming into full light.

"Don't judge me for trying to be a father, if my daughter wants to be a nun she shall be, and if she wants to be a vicious Viking warrior like us, then she shall be. Let us not influence her."