And the Petals Fall | ?

On some days,

I'm too tired to straighten my back,

Too tired to gulp down my food and tears.

On those days,

I'll sit for hours in front of my dressing table

Forcing myself to break down,

Not realizing I'm already in between one.

I'll check out the reflection and curse 

The red and flushed girl

For looking so desperate 

For things she's already supposed to have.

My phone notifications will go off.

R u ok? My friend will ask.

Later, I'll reply, I think

Knowing fully well it might be a month later.

And suddenly I'll find droplets condensing 

On the corner of my eyes, 

Making their way to my lips.

One glance at the girl in the mirror, 

And my head will turn away faster than a hurricane.

I will hate it;

I cannot bear seeing her like that.

Maybe twenty minutes later, the sobbing will stop.

I'll see myself through the looking glass again,

A girl still red and flushed, 

But at least void of a heavy mind.

I will look up at the LEDs 

Embedded into the dressing table

Shining tenderly upon me

Like a spotlight on a lone artist

Worn out, finished with a nerve-racking performance.

Nobody's gonna clap, I'll think.

But somewhere in the ghost of an audience,

A subtle sound of cheers will reverberate,

Heartening me to move on to a better presentation

After emptying myself from what I've just shown.

Slowly, a full blown applause will ring,

And I'll stand up and bow, 

Feeling a sense of reassurance that 

There's someone still looking forward to my growth.

"Thank you!" I will roar,

Scintillating under the spotlight.

_____

 I've been feeling very small for some reason lately, and the only way I've been able to communicate is through my poems. I'm trying to make them encouraging so that they can encourage not only others, but even me when I'm down.

This poem is for those who read my poems and try to interact with them and my thoughts. You're only a handful amount of people, but you've decided to give some time to this girl who's such a handful. And I'll forever be grateful for that. So thank you infinite times.

 It might sound far-fetched, but sometimes the words you guys say, fuel my life. The simplest advice or jokes, they run my systems to work. When I feel like I'm floating in thin air, they pull me back to the ground. It made me realize that even a normal conversation with the right person can have a huge impact on your life.

Really, I'm sorry for being impulsive, but I'm so thankful to all of you who talk about it without judging me. I thank you guys again and again.

I love you!!!

:) <3

_____