If Only She'd Loved Him

Saturday 4:50 pm

Rain hit the ground, clattering on the roof top as Megan backed further and further away from the dresser.  She was going to get wet, but she was going to be safe.  Leaving the pictures behind, she stumbled back down the stairs towards the front door.  Hand on the knob, ready to turn, she heard the knock. 

Oh No, not now!  Give me five more minutes please! Spinning around, she, headed towards the kitchen before it hit her.  Erik wouldn't knock.  Hope sprang up.  Maybe it was Jean, and she'd gotten her note.  Someone pounded on the door again.  Slowly, she crept back to the front door, but first she picked up a heavy black flashlight that was lying on the counter.  Armed, she placed herself at the side of the door before she opened it.  Sean stood silhouetted in the evening light, rain splashing on his coat in great wet drops.  The flashlight fell to the floor.

"Sean?" she asked in shock.

"Megan?"  Recognizing her voice, he peered inside, half-blinded by the light in the room.  "What are you doing here?" he demanded, just as much in shock as she.

Her eyes were wide as she held the door open.  "Please," she begged him. "You're in danger.  I'm in danger.  We need to get out of here!" 

"What the hell are you talking about?" he snapped.  "And what the hell are you doing here?"  This was his friend's cabin.  What was Erik's ex-bitch of a girlfriend doing here when Erik wasn't around?  He glared at her. 

Megan didn't even notice.  Every second she stayed was an hour too long.  "Sean, you don't understand," she pleaded, past desperation.  "Erik kidnapped me.  He's not sane."  She tugged at his arm.  "Please," she cried. "We have to go now!"

"Bull!"  Sean folded his arms across his chest, and wouldn't budge from the doorway. "What game are you playing now?  It wasn't enough you had to break his heart once, now you want to break it twice.  I'm not moving till you tell me the truth." He wedged himself tighter inside the doorway,

"I am telling the truth," she cried. "Please, he'll be back any minute. We need to get out of here, and we need to do it now!"

Something in Megan's voice made Sean pause.  He hated her but she sounded so panicked.  The edge in her voice was so desperate, it cut through some of his past memories.  He lowered his arms and squinted, adjusting his glasses. "You're really frightened, aren't you?"

Megan was close to hysteria.  "Sean, if you don't move, I swear I'll run you over.  Get out of my way!"

She leapt forwards, ready to shove him out of the doorway, but she never got the chance.  Sean's eyes rolled up his face as he crumpled out of her sight, falling to the ground.  Megan looked up at Erik.  The pistol in his hand was held gun handle down.  There had been no noise as it hit the back of Sean's head.  For a long moment, Erik stared at the gun and then back at his friend lying still in the rain.  He nudged Sean forwards with his foot.  Megan began to back up.  Erik leaned over, took Sean by the arm and pulled him into the living room, all without saying a word.  She couldn't stand the silence.  Couldn't stand the fact that he wouldn't look at her.  She didn't even consider running out the open door.

"Erik," she tried, but then he did turn towards her, and she fell under the hate in his eyes.

"Move from where you are, and I'll shoot you," he said, dragging Sean over to a chair.

Megan couldn't move.  She stared at the back of Sean's head.  A trickle of blood oozed from his skull, matting the hairs on his neck.  She couldn't look away from that slow slide of red.  Propping Sean up in a chair, Erik went over and calmly closed the door.  The wind howled in the background as he slid the chain shut.  Returning to Sean, he leaned over him, checking for a pulse.  The beat below his fingers was erratic, but there.

"You can sit, babe," he said, without looking at her.

Dead white, she sank onto the sofa, her knees refusing to support her.

He turned towards the couch.  His eyes pinned her there. "To think that I ever thought you loved me," he said softly.

"Erik—"

"Is this your doing?" he demanded, pointing to Sean.  "Do you realize what you've made me do?  Do you?  He was my friend.  And now I don't know what to do," he cried in frustration. "I did everything for you, Megan, and now none of it's any good!"

"Erik, I had no idea," she protested, "He was just at the door."

"Oh, and you got free by yourself." His words scorned at her, mocked her  "He didn't help you at all."

Her voice held steady, though her body shook. "Yes, I did.  I almost got away from you, by myself."

"Impossible," he stated.  "There was no way."

"I did it," she replied, suddenly calm in her certainty.  "You can't hold me."

For a long aching moment, he stared at her, through her.  "Maybe I don't want to, anymore."

Megan tried to slide away from those eyes, from the pain she saw in them.  The anger was gone replaced by a sort of hopelessness, a sinking view of darkness.  She fought it the only way she knew how. "Erik, I'm sorry."

Her words melted through him. He put his hands into his hair and lowered his head to his knees.  "What am I going to do?" he cried.

Instinctively, she kneeled down next to him.  Cradling him in her arms, she stroked his hair, rocking him like a child as he sobbed against her lap.

"What am I going to do now?" he begged her.

Tenderly, she rocked back and forth, trying to soothe him.  "Let us go," she said gently.

"I can't." His voice was broken, cut apart.  "Don't you understand that?  I have no choices left now.  I can't!"

"Yes, you can," she whispered.

His voice ground into her, flattening any hope.

"No.  I can't."

Propelling Megan by her wrist, he forced her into the bedroom.  His foot kicked the broken apart handcuffs across the room.  Eyebrows raised, he barely spared them a glance as they skittered on the wooden floor. "You're stronger than I thought, babe."

Megan didn't speak, couldn't speak.  Erik shoved her onto the bed, letting go of her wrist.  He didn't look at her, didn't seem to see her.  His movements were almost mechanical as his hands wrapped around her neck.   

"It's your fault!  Your fault!  He was my friend!"

Tears flew off his face.  With each word, he closed his hands tighter.  Megan felt the world shimmer in front of her, shapes danced around and about.  Everything got darker, faded farther away.  Her breathing got more shallow.  Her lungs didn't want to fight anymore.  All she wanted was for the room to stop spinning.  Her eyes closed.

"I loved you!" Erik cried out.  "All I ever did was love you."  Megan got limp in his arms.  A bluish stain crossed her pale face. 

"Open your eyes, babe.  I want to watch your face.  Open your eyes!"

She barely heard him.  The world was softer here.  The stars lit up the night.  It was pretty, too pretty to leave.  She lay still.  Shock hit Erik as she stopped moving, stopped breathing.  He took both his hands away from her throat and fell against her chest.

"Oh, sweetheart, open your eyes," he begged. 

Frantically, he spread her out like a cross, wanting her to be as open as possible, for air to enter everywhere, but she didn't move. Tears landed on her chest, soaking through her sweater.  He reached for her hand.  Her fingers fell from his touch.  He collapsed on the bed, sobbing.  Then he leaned over her mouth, cupped it open and kissed her as hard as he could, forcing air into the lungs that he'd squeezed away.  Pinching her nose shut, he kept breathing into her mouth, then he'd switch, compressing her chest with his hands, up and down, praying for movement.  Back and forth, he went from her mouth to her chest, trying to make her breathe on her own.  Till at last he gave up and just lay next to her, holding her hand goodbye.