The Stupid Side of Practical

"Oh come on, you're really not the least bit excited?" Emily smiled as she moved her eggs around on her plate.

Gina shook her head as she tried to look at her own eggs and not projectile vomit. "I'm telling you Em, this is all fun and games until your pants don't fit anymore."

"Yeah," Emily said with shrug, "but just think for a second." Her friend smiled as she reached for her coffee. "All the crap aside, Josh, your families, your job, would having a baby make you happy?"

Gina was quiet for a moment. She looked down at her stomach unable to resist the urge to bring her hand to it. Something internal just needing to hold the life growing inside her. Having a baby was probably the most terrifying thing she could think of. And yet, she already couldn't picture her life without this baby in her arms. She wouldn't tell a soul, but she already had a notebook she was writing names in. And yes, occasionally when she allowed herself to just sit down and take it all in. A smile would tug at her lips when she thought of a little mini, blue-eyed Josh running around the loft with a toy car. Cause yeah, she wanted a little boy. A little sweet prince of her own.

Looking over at Emily who was smiling with a knowing expression she let out a sigh, "Pregnancy is the happiest reason ever for feeling like crap." Then she pushed her plate away unable to take the sight of her sunny side up eggs anymore.

Emily frowned as she looked at the discarded plate. "Morning sickness still?"

"You know, at this point it's really just a sickness," Gina reasoned reaching for her glass of water. Last night Josh had made her a roasted lemon pepper chicken and damn it, if she hadn't enjoyed it. Not only was the food decent but it was fun talking to him again. It was always easy to fall into that rhythm with him. The teasing and easy back and forth. Dare she even admit it but, she missed him.

Pushing that thought aside for a moment, she thought about what Emily said. "Having a baby is emotional, but what Josh wants to do is practical. Maybe I'm just crazy but I feel like the line between practical and emotional keeps blurring."

"Well, emotional stuff can be scary," Emily said with small nod.

Gina sat back in the booth, blinking out over the view of their breakfast table. Emotional stuff. It was scary. Opening herself up meant she'd be vulnerable. And being vulnerable made it easy to get hurt.

Hang on. This is Josh we're talking about. Josh would never hurt her. Josh was practical. Josh made pros and cons list for just about everything he did. He exceled in practical thinking. Hello, doctor! Plus, he understood her as no other guy did. When they were younger he use to always understand her offbeat pop culture references, and he use to sing along to the music she played in the delivery truck.

Even on nights when the boys would randomly include her on the movie selections, he would let her choose the movie more often than not. He would even discuss them with her until they were either arguing or laughing about it.

God she missed him.

Gina sat up straight, alarm tightening her muscles. No. Definitely not. She would not go there. Not with him. He was her friend. And all that emotional stuff... well that needed to be shoved down deep in a box and tossed in the back of the closet. She was supposed to be thinking about this baby, not romanticizing a one-way attraction.

"Right." Gina nodded her head as she looked back at Emily. "I am thinking about the baby. And if I'm going to have one I'd rather go it alone then do it with someone who doesn't want to."

"So, you're definitely keeping it then, we're doing this mom thing?"

She let the question hang in the murmurs and clinking dishes of the café. She felt the catch in her throat and was helpless to stop it, until it came out as a gasp. She wanted this baby. She actually wanted it. "Yes."