Collection of thoughts.

{13082020}  2AM

Staying in the past and thinking about what could've been different if you had chose a different option isn't the best. From my experience I think no matter how much you try to linger in the past, it's just going to occupy you from enjoying your moment right now in life.

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The slow steady beats of my heart keeps me thinking about what I'm doing right now. But sometimes I'm so occupied with everything I forget to hear my heartbeat or just forget to breath at all. The softness in the mood makes me feel like I could accomplish everything and anything I every wanted. Maybe that illusion of happiness would take me further in life but it doesn't fill in the void of think why I'm here. What's the reason for all of this ? Earlier I would often think that if I don't care enough maybe thinks will go away. I was certainly wrong at that time. Of course now I understand, that the more you give the I don't care about anything attitude to life.... life won't care about you either. It's all about the perspective of a person and how they would choose to see the world through their eyes.
We can't expect others to act accounting to how we want them or perhaps expect them to be. Some might think this is weird but I often made up what my future would look like if I did a certain action right now. I would often expect a certain outcome after I've carefully calculated my actions. Sounds a bit manipulative right ? But of course it didn't always go according to plan and I would be very much dissatisfied with the result. I should probably stop that habit and let life flow in it's own pace. Thinking about your actions and being mindful about your led and others is very good, but don't try to overthink every situation. It ruins the flavor of life itself.

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How to stop disappointing others ? I don't know because I'm really good at disappointing others actually.
I don't mean any ill will through my actions but I often fall for the traps of temporary pleasure just for few moments. It can be either video games, drawing or listing to music I always find some other alternative to occupy myself. Later I don't either regret my decisions but often wish I had more time. But times waits for nobody. Maybe after I feel like I've accomplished something I'm very satisfied with that for the whole day.
I watched a video saying that's just the illusion of accomplishment. You didn't really do anything much for life but just that little amount of effort made you really happy right ? I think personally because I'm not used to real hard-work. The pleasure of finished something keeps me going for the days while I have plies go other work to do. I feel that it's okay because I used all my effort to finished that one work.
I don't know how I can fix that problem. Only later I would feel that I couldn't accomplish anything and again so little time....

2:30 AM
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Note to readers —>
Thank you coming this far... <3
What are you thoughts on a daily basis ? 
Take this space to talk about what you are feeling right now ?
To relax your mind or just for a study session I recommend listing to somr Lofi beats. At least for me they work.
Good night and stay safe...

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Tips on finding inner peace

• I will stop worrying about everything.
• I will stop think about past events.
• I will forgive others as well as my myself.
• I will be more honest with my self.
• I will stop feeling the need to control everything.
• I will take things on with a gentle approach.
• I will let life play out on its own.

{Source : Pinterest}