UNSTRUNG GUITAR

RENELENE'S P.O.V

You will not going to believe this.  In one single day, I have already moved from the very long queue line outside, to the warm backstage here at the venue...with Connor.  I didn't want to even talk about my wildest dream because whatever going on today, has definitely never been there.  It was too rude to imagine it in my mind.  But then we looked at it now, Connor's being all awkward and odd.

"So...uhm...  I know, I have no forever to get to know you more, so..."  Connor bowed his head all the time.

"What is it?"  I whispered.  Connor practically pulled me to hide behind this giant black curtain.

"This might be a little insane, but...  You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life."  He looked deep down into my eyes.  And even in the dark, I can see it glowing.

"C...conn...or..."  I stuttered.  My hands were shaking right now.

"I know.  I don't push you about anything.  Or maybe you have a boyfriend out there.  I just want to tell the truth before we're leaving to the next venue where I can't meet you anymore.  I'm scared..."

He kept going with his words but I can't hear the rest of them.  I was just stuck, got lost in his blue-ish eyes that I've been adored throughout this time.  Those are the eyes I used to just zoomed in through my phone to get closer to it, pretended Connor was staring at me.  Now, I had him inside my hands and for once, I know my life started line up perfectly before my very eyes.

"I don't have any boyfriend.  Practically never had.  Why would a guy want to date me though?"  I chuckled.

"Excuse me?  That's a very easy question.  Because you're all guys would crave for.  That beauty, the kind heart, everything about you is perfect."  Connor whispered but a little bit louder now.

"Con, don't play with that thing.  Hahaha.  You'll get many more beautiful ladies behind that door that you could choose instead of me."  I shook my head.

"Isn't it even obvious?  Why would I want to choose anybody else?  What makes you think I  don't choose you?"  He started to argue with me, then suddenly those scars held him back.  "What's...  Rene..."

"I'm sorry."  I covered my hands with my coat.

"No no no.  Show me.  What is this?"  Connor stared at the bruises.

"Some stupid scars."  I sighed.  "Don't mind it."

"You're...cutting yourself."  He stared at me.

"It was back days ago.  No big deal."  I looked away.

"Why did you do that?"  Connor started talking with his low tone after arguing with me.

"Because why not?  People don't like me Connor.  People just don't like me."  I fought back.

"People do like you.  You're a nice girl!"  He stroked the bruises that my scissors made.

"Or maybe I'm just a liar, a loser, then you're trapped here with my whole lies."  I stepped aback.

"Stop it!" 

Connor pulled me back, this time with his whole power so I can't seriously move.  He studied my every inch of face.  I just shut my eyes.  Whatever happens, happens.  Then I started to feel this soft lips on mine.  He locked it there for a while. I got my whole power to kiss him back.  Here, I kissed my idol.  When my world started to fall down to pieces, my own idol saved me, literally.  Connor's trust made me think back of my own life.  Why I should hate myself when even the most important person in my life love me.

"I like you.  I love you.  Well, we're not some foolish teenagers anymore, so I'm gonna just state that.  I know it's gonna be hard.  We'll be separated, I'll be going back to Orlando again.  We can only meet whether there's a miracle you go to The States or the band decides to visit London again.  But either way, that kiss may be a proof that you're loved.  By me."

I cried against Connor's chest.  The one thing I've always wanted to do for so long.  For once, I really wanted to cry without being told I'm a drama queen.  That's why I spent a lot of my time alone at the park across the Buckingham Palace gate.  The thing I can only do by myself.  It's always another afternoon, another space out moment, to finish another heavy day.  I thought by going to BYE concert by myself and got a M&G ticket, I could tell them how much their music has kept me going, even only by whisper to them in the middle of noisy room.  But then I got a chance to tie my lips on Connor's.  There's a huge thick wall between my daydream and today's case.

"I love you too...  You have gotten me stronger during this time.  You keep me going.  You're the only reason I didn't cut much deeper to kill myself."  I spoke between my tears.

"Now, for God's sake, don't cut yourself again.  I love you.  No matter how far we're separated, my heart's always for you.  Always.  And it will find a way to find you."  He whispered.

I didn't say anymore words.  I just hugged him, so tightly, so deeply.  The heartbeat of a person that I loved the most was here, close enough to my ears.  We surprisingly matched the melody.

"I will always love you, until my heart hurts..."  Connor whispered again.  I just took a deep breath and snuggled myself deeper against his chest.

You just knew me.  You just met me.  From that unstrung guitar, you brought me here to the place I'd rather be, more than anywhere else.