Perfect Doesn't Last Forever

Chapter Four

            “Then why can’t we?” he asked, reaching his hand out to me.  “We were always good together.  Everything was great when we were together.” 

            “But that was for us.  We have to think about Hayley we need to work out our issues and talk things out before we even think about getting back together,” I reasoned, pushing his hand away.  “Things are different now.  We can’t just go back to the way things were.” 

            “I don’t understand why we can’t.  We love each other and we have a daughter.  We’ve been together for over three years.  Nothing has changed.”  But so much has changed.  “You want to talk about our issues?  Let’s talk.” He quickly sat back in his chair and motioned for me to do the same. 

            “I can’t talk about this right now.  I’ve had a really long day and I need to study for my psych midterm,” I told him, slinging my purse over my shoulder.  “I’ll just take Hayley and we can talk tomorrow after my test.”

            “Why can’t we just talk now?  It’s not like there is that much to talk about,” he shrugged, relaxing into his chair. 

            “Damien, we have a lot to talk about okay?” I snapped at him, pushing my hair back completely frustrated with his insistence on talking now.  “And right now, I really just want to get Hayley, go home and study.” 

            “Fine, whatever,” he surrendered, jumping out of his chair.  “But I’ll just keep Hayley tonight and you can pick her up from daycare tomorrow after your test.”  

            “Really?” Since when did Damien volunteer to take an extra day with Hayley?  “Would you really do that?”

            “Yeah, I don’t have midterms until Friday.  I can spare one more day for her,” he said earnestly.  I guess he really wanted to prove that he was a family man.

            “Okay, that would be great, you’re saving me right now,” I sighed gratefully.  “So I’ll come over around four.”

            “Sounds great,” he smiled, “I guess I’ll walk you out.”  And we silently walked to the front door.  After an awkward goodbye of him trying to kiss my cheek and give me a hug and me skillfully dodging him, I drove back home, wondering if I was making a mistake, letting Damien off so easily for all the hurtful things he said to me. 

- - - - - - - - - - -

            “Daddy, look what I paint today!” Hayley exclaimed from my arms when Damien let us into his house the next day.  She was waving the painting she made at daycare today back and forth excitedly, making it nearly impossible for Damien to see the swirls of blue, purple, pink and yellow she made. 

              “Wow Hayley,” he mused, taking the painting from her.  “This is beautiful.”  He took her from my arms and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.  “How about we go put this up on the refrigerator?”

            “Yes!” she nodded, clapping her hands loudly, as Damien carried her into the kitchen. 

            I listened as they debated where to put the painting on the bare fridge and whether or not she wanted to use a magnet or a piece of tape.  Laughing to myself, I made my way to the family room and as I did, my mind would not stop racing.  I didn’t know how Damien would react to me telling him I didn’t want to be with him anymore or how this conversation would go.  Would Damien stop being a guy’s guy and just talk about the problems we had or would he just shut down and give up?  I wanted my family to be stable, but at the same time, I wasn’t going to sacrifice Noah for Damien.  Three years with Damien was too much.  From the time it was realistic to have a boyfriend, I’d been with Damien.  I never got to explore my options or anything.  It was always Damien and Brittany, Brittany and Damien.  Being with Noah was the biggest change in my life, besides having Hayley.