Exertion (Under editing!)

Chapter Fibe: The Pain Doesn't Fail

Warning: Self-Harm
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There was no real reason as to why Bakugou self-harmed. All he knew was that the burning pain made him feel alive. Bakugou often felt angry and numb but pain made him feel something other than that.

No one ever noticed how he'd limp on his way to class in the morning or the way he would hold his large black pants so that they were not touching his thigh during class. No one ever noticed or seemed to care that Bakugou was acting so unlike himself.

Bakugou has gotten good at excuses when someone did notice though. It was easy for the lies to slip past his mouth. He's had years of practice. Sure some days are a bit harder when he has to fight back tears but he still can get them to eat up his lies.

Midoriya was different though, he would always frown and shake his head. Bakugou loathed that the first time Midoriya saw something wrong.

Midoriya had dragged him into a closet and started to ask numerous questions. The questions were simple but unusual, Bakugou knew Midoriya did a lot of research when he was bored but he didn't know that he did that much.

Midoriya loved to read, it was one of his favorite ways to pass some time. What he often read was about the human body or things that are related to it. When Midoriya was younger his mom fell into a depression due to his dad walking out on both of them. He wanted to help his mom out so he started reading about depression. Sure Midoriya won't be able to fully understand what his mother has gone through but he knows the symptoms and many other things that are related to depression.

"Hey Kaachan, how's your sleeping habits? I know you always go to bed early but are you sure that you're actually going to sleep when you say you are?"

"Have you been eating enough? You should really eat more, you got to get big and strong."

"Are you sure you are okay Kaachan? You know it's good to talk about how you feel, it's good for your mental health."

"Are you having trouble concentrating? You looked zoned out in class so I was just wondering."

"I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

Bakugou hated that it warmed his heart that Midoriya noticed these small things. He hated that Midoriya still cared for him. He never understood why Midoriya still cared for him, Bakugou was a complete ass to Midoriya yet he still stuck around no matter how rude or angry he acted toward the green-haired man, it just never got Midoriya to leave.

Sure Bakugou wanted Midoriya around, he'd die before saying that aloud, but he also wanted to be alone. Bakugou felt guilty for the things that he had done to Midoriya, he wanted to suffer just like Midorya did.

Bakugou dug his dull nails into the uneven and rough skin on his thigh. The skin was slightly puffed up and had a reddish-purple tone to it. It brought an odd comfort to Bakugou as he looked down at the burn marks. He never understood why he liked hurting himself, it was strange to him.

Bakugou had done a little research after almost getting an infection on one of the burns. Bakugou was fine with the pain but he hated the pain of an infection more. It wasn't like he cleaned each burn after he was done, he settled for showers and a quick scrub on his thighs.

The patterns on his skin were ugly, they didn't look anything like the wounds he got when he was out in the field. No one ever noticed so Bakugou never cared to try to make them less noticeable or make sure that they weren't too big. Bakugou runs his hand over the uneven skin with a sigh.

Bakugou was once again on the floor in his bathroom. He wasn't sad, Bakugou just felt numb, he wanted to at least feel something other than feeling nothing at all.

The pain was the next feeling, the burn of his skin as it lights up from his quirk. His skin burned, it brought agony, it gave him satisfaction.

He lets out a relieved sigh as he lets his head rest back against the cold wall of his bathroom. The pain gave him comfort, it gave him something to hold onto. His eyes stung from the sudden rush of tears, he didn't want to cry but he knew if he did he could feel less like shit.

Bakugou held his emotions in a tight grasp, he only cried when he was alone in his bathroom at midnight. He only let himself hear the choked sobs that push their way past his lips. He was the only that got to feel his tears run down his face.

Bakugou felt alone, he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his act. This act of being strong and not weak, he just wanted to cry out and never breathe again.