I Will Try To Fix You

''PLEASE, STOP. PLEASE.'' I begged.

''SHUT UP YOU WHINY BITCH.'' My step-dad spat as he repeatedly socked me in my stomach.

I cried and cried wishing for the pain to be over, thankfully enough, it was. Once he heard my mom's car pulling into the drive way he got off of me.

''Wait until next time, whore'' he said coldly, then left my room.

Confused? Let me explain.

I'm Maya Roman. 15 years old and a Junior in high school. When I was 11 my mom divorced my dad and started working a lot. When I was 13 she met a man named Dave and got married. He was nice at first, but something was always off about him.

One night while my mom was working late her got really drunk. I had accidentally dropped my biology textbook on the floor and it was ''too loud''. He got angry and punched me right in the face. I was shocked. I ran up to my room and in the morning he came in and told me that if I told my mother what had happened, he would hit me and my mother twice as hard.

I didn't dare tell. I was afraid he would beat us both.

Ever since that day he has beat me almost everyday. 

My Mom hardly even comes home anymore. I don't know where she is.

Oh, and as if that wasn't worse enough, I'm a cutter. Since I was 12.

Not my wrists though, people would see. 

I cut my thighs. 

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''Ugh'' I grunted as I got up for school.

Dave had taken my clothes to the laundry mat because our washer broke.

So I had no jeans to wear. Not jeans to cover the cuts.

My only option was a long skirt. It was kind of grandma-ish but I had no choice.

I got dressed, put on some mascara, brushed my teeth, and I was out the door. 

My hair naturally curled so I didn't have to worry about that.

My neighbor Sam gave me rides to school everyday and Dave would pick me up. 

- - -

I was writing in my notebook, I always loved writing poems.

''Maya!'' My Math teacher yelled.

''Since you don't need to listen to me teach because you're too busy doodling in your notebook, why don't you come up here and answer this question on the board for me''

''I, uh, I, don't know the answer'' I said shyly.

''Figures. She's probably drawing pictures of friends she wish she had'' said Brian, the biggest dick in history.

Well not the biggest one. He and his group of friends are.

Their group consists of Brian, Isaiah, and Josh.

The class laughed at what he said.

Now look, I have Friends.

Okay, I have 1 friend. Sam. The one that drives me too school everyday. But we don't hangout. At all. Her mom just kind of feels bad for me because walking would be a far distance. I usually just eat lunch alone. It doesn't bother me. I can write in my notebook some more. 

''Hm. Figures. Stay 5 minuetes after class.'' My teacher said.

The bell rang and I watched everyone leave the class.

One of the boys from the group, Josh, also had to stay after class. He forgot his homework. Again.

It was awkward sitting there. Alone. Just Josh and I. 

I studied him.

He had gorgeous Hazel green eyes with light brown hair he slicked back.

I'm not going to lie, he wasn't ugly. He was gorgeous in fact. 

''Okay. You guys can go.'' My teacher said.

Josh and I tried to get out of that class so fast we bumped into each other on the way out. 

My poem notebook went flying to the floor. 

''Oh, I'm so sorry!'' Josh said.

''That's alright.'' I said softly, like I was used to it.

We both reached down to get it at the same time, and I guess at the same time my skirt got caught on the metal of the other book in my hand.

My cuts were very visible. 

Not only my cuts.

My bruises from Dave.

Josh stared for a good minute. I was in shock. No one has ever seen them before.

He looked like he was about to say something but I just walked fastly away. 

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I spent all of lunch and 5th and 6th period deciding what I would say to Josh if he asked. He would probably tell all his friends. I would get called an Emo freak.

*Ring, Ring* Final class was over.

I was happy to get out of school until it dawned on me that I had to go home. Home to the abuse.

My phone rang.

''Hello? Maya?'' Dave spoke through the phone.

''Yes?'' I spoke nicely as possible.

''I can't pick you up today.''

''What? Why? That's a 5 mile walk home! And it's starting to rain.'' I put my hand out and felt the drizzles.

''Too bad.'' He hung up.

I sighed loudly.

''Hey, need a ride?'' A familiar voice rang through. I turned and saw... Josh.

''Uh, you wanna give me a ride?'' I said.

''Well, yeah. It's raining. And uh, it's cold.'' He said shyly.

I felt like he was pitying me. 

I shivered. I took up his offer.

People stared as I got into his car.

He started driving and the car ride home was mostly quiet.

''Hey, uh'' Josh cleared his throat.

Oh great. Here it comes.

''Earlier I kinda saw, uhm, some bruises and stuff on your legs. How did you get them?''

I froze.