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michael was picking at the dead skin on his lips, another side effect of the chemotherapy that had yet again begun to flood his bloodstreams. he rolled his finger over and again over the drying skin, before letting his nails press down sharply, ripping bits of it off and wincing at the thin layer of red smeared on his fingertips. his eyes drifted further down his fingers, a smile tugging at his lips as he caught sight of the small silver ring resting by the knuckle of his pinky finger, a pinky promise from luke to michael that their love will be eternal.
there was a tv playing on mute infront of him, a small side table set over his stomach with a bunch of uno cards stacked up. it was day two of their stay here, and they were both already growing restless. the hospital room felt smaller than the last time he remembered it and that only added to everything else piling up, even though this place had homed their two beating hearts for almost three months now.
michael was curled up under piles of blankets, his face resting on the crook of luke's elbow as they both huddled togather to keep each other warm. it was nearing four in the afternoon, and the sky was as dark as the end of the ocean, rain pelting the window sill slowly as the clouds screamed with their sorrow. the rain was softly soothing him to sleep, eyes growing heavy every few seconds, and his head lolling forward before he snapped back awake, trying to blink the sleep out. luke smiled, leaning his head further back and laying his face on top of the lime green dyed fuzz on the boy's head.
it only took a couple more seconds before michael's soft snores filled the room, breaking the comfortable silence that usually settled in their room. his chapped bright red lips were parted open, slight drool on the corner of his mouth, and eyelashes cast over his cheeks while he escaped his fears of being alive. the blond pouted at the scene, mentally aweing as his eyes scanned over his face, falling in love over and over again with every beat of his heart.
as he watched, luke couldn't help but notice the twisting feeling in his gut, and the sharp tug at his heart strings. the inevitable fear of anything going wrong was wounding around his neck like a thick rope, choking him of any reassurement that everything was okay.
just a few months ago michael had been somebody that stayed up all night, and barely slept during the day. that was just who michael had always been since he was younger, and the michael that luke knew. of course, he knew that everything they had written down with their hands intertwined had been tossed off a bridge and drowned, ink bleeding on every page and fading the letters to be barely legible now. even then, seeing the boy sleep day and night for the past couple of weeks and still be tired had been keeping luke on the edge of a cliff, watching everything fall down infront of him as his feet slowly treaded the end of the line.
he had managed to hid his fears from his boyfriend, but late at night as the boy was sleeping, he had slipped out from his hold and expressed the concerns of michael's sudden change in behaviours to some of his oncologists. it was honestly stupid of him to even expect anything different, as every single one of them looked at him with pity in their eyes and a soft smile dancing on their lips, before promising him that it was just the medicine.
but maybe if michael was awake, he would have had the second chance to realise the numbness growning over his fingertips, like needles pressing into his skin, flooding every inch of him with morphine. the blood had ceased to pump into his wrist, and the numbness was like paint mixing into water, quickly spreading to any part it could reach.
and maybe if michael was awake, luke might have been holding his hand, and he would notice how cold he was.
it was too late now, death was already balancing his scythe at the tip of his throat, pressing in to his trachea harder and harder, before michael's body jerked under the weight of it. it was only then when luke noticed the vermillion dying the skin of his cheeks, and his fingertips turning purple as his hands fisted the sheets tightly, body arching off the bed and lips wide open, like he screaming, but no sound escaped his mouth.
luke stood still in shock, his hands trembling as he reached for the nurse button next to their bed. by then everything seemed to be moving excruciatingly slowly, and michael was choking on his own spit, his body hitting the bed every few seconds before his chest was jerked upwards, hands and legs spasming and tears staining the bed and the sheer white shirt that he wore as he sobbed out luke's name over and over again.
luke, luke, luke.
luke was at the corner of the bed, knees to his chest and vision blurring as his own crying took over, not even realising that the sounds in the room where his own screams for michael michael michael. the button was still gripped tightly in his fist, his veins surfacing as his body trembled with fear. the room was spinning, swallowing him, and in that moment he felt so cold, like everything that had ever made him happy had been ripped away from right infront of him.
luke's eyes were fixed on michael's convulsing body as his slurred voice screamed for someone to kill him and make the pain stop. there was a line of red seeping from his mouth that bled into the mint white sheets under him, and from his chests where the tubes feeding him the medicine had been ripped off his chest with the force of the seizure.
it wasn't until there was hands tugging on his wrist that he looked up, and a set of aureate eyes were staring down at him. luke didn't hear the man speak, his ears buzzing with static and all his words slurring together, but he was being lifted up onto his feet and dragged away. as the door was opening infront of him, luke looked back at his boyfriend. he felt himself choking up again as he stared at the site, with nurses surrounding him, not that either luke nor michael knew how any of them entered the room. michael's face was scarlet, distorting in pain as his muscles continued to seize. luke felt his heart continue to drop, more tears spilling onto the cheeks over the already drying tear tracks on his skin. the nurse he was holding onto finally noticed the blonde standing still, and tightened his hold on him wrist, before tugging him forward and out of the room.
just as the doors closed behind him, and luke was tearing his eyes away from his boyfriend, michael's face snapped towards his, eyes rolling back to reveal his porcelain whites. the younger boy stiffened, his heart hammering as his entire world had ceased to spin on its axis, the moment when he watched michael's body fall limp back into the bed, and the entire room fell into silence.
