We Didn't Make It After All

The day unfolded as many days do: slowly and with a disturbing stillness. Only occasionally interrupted by the ringing of the school bell, I was relieved when it was over. As I grabbed my duffel bag from the girl's locker room and exited onto the field, I was surprised to find Bella waiting for me by the bleachers. "Please tell me Sienna's recent tweets are shitposts and you didn't actually ask Anderson about me today," she said. She released a sigh. "Don't give me that look, Narnie Larson. You know exactly what you did."

"I wanted to see if he still has feelings for you," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"Narnie," she groaned.

"—and he clearly seems to, so what's the problem?"

"What you did wasn't right."

"But he—"

"No, no buts. We hate him. He's old news. End of story."

"But—"

Bella gave me a look.

"Okay, okay. We hate him."

She angrily took my duffel bag into her arms. I felt a pang of guilt at her indignance. Was I really this oblivious; had I hurt Bella so much without even realizing it; I was capable of that—me, Narnie Larson, who in my head wouldn't hurt a fly?

"I'm sorry, Bella," I began, but she released another, equally defeated sigh.

"I understand that you two are friends, but please don't mention me anymore. I don't want to become just another talking point for you two. And especially not for Sienna Flores."

"I won't. I promise."

"I believe you."

Did she really? I worried that she never would—but I had a tendency to exaggerate my wrongdoings, to paint myself as more horrible than I actually was when I hurt those I cared about. I was practicing another apology in my head when Sol Flores approached the two of us. Bella and I exchanged a terse glance as she greeted Bella with a curt nod. She then turned to me. "Hey Narn, any plans tonight?"

Pitted between Sol and Bella and their harrowing history, I bit my lip. "Ye—" I began, but when Bella's scowl deepened, I quickly fixed myself. "Uh, no, no plans?"

Sol wasn't born yesterday. She knew exactly what she was doing, but it didn't seem to phase her. "It's Mateo's birthday and we're throwing a surprise party for him. Nothing big, just a little celebration. You want to come?"

I looked at Bella again, seeing past her stoic countenance the dismay forming in her eyes. I knew then that going to the party tonight would be a horrible idea. I would rather be in the hospital anyway, watching reruns of poorly directed romantic comedies with Bella and Micah.

"Ezra will be there," Sol added.

"I mean if Ezra will be there," Bella chimed in. "I guess she has to go."

"Come on, Bel. Don't mock me like that."

"We're late to see Micah," Bella said, releasing a sigh.

Sol grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "See Micah?" she asked curiously. When Bella brushed herself off without an explanation, Sol faced me. "Did something happen?"

"He's—" I began while Bella said "None of your business" at the same time. I stopped myself.

"He's what?" Sol repeated with concern.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Like you care. Narnie, are we going?"

"Come tonight, Narnie," Sol said softly. "Mateo would really appreciate it."