Learning to Be Happy Again

A/N: Has it really been just a week? Feels like so much longer. Also, be wary: No Unlocked spoilers (not that they would come into play... well I guess I wouldn't know I've just started it), please. Anyway, this is early for no reason, just felt like it.

Get ready....!

The tree we found is large and shady, which is perfect. Fitz is sitting quietly next to me, thinking. He sighs, slumping further down the tree.

"What's up?" I wonder.

"Oh, just," he gestures, "everything."

"Care to elaborate?" I don't want to push too much because of what happened last time, but this seems like something that needs to be let out. "I know you don't want to, but if it's all you can think about, maybe it's better to just let it go? Talking usually helps. Or writing, but I know you're more of a talker. Well, except for maybe that one time," I add, cringing at the memory of Fitz and Sophie sitting close under the panakes tree.

He laughs quietly. "Right, that. Well, I'm not really sure either of those things are great ideas. I'll still think about it, I'm sure. I mean, it's been at least a month since I realized and it hasn't stopped--" He shakes his head. "I should stop talking."

"No, no, this is good! What did you realize?" I scoot closer to Fitz, turning myself to face him. "I won't judge you, you know that, right?"

"Except you will." He stands up. "I should go."

I jump up and grab his hands. "No, please? I promise I won't--oh." There's a shooting pink warmth that flows from his hands to mine and I drop them, surprised.

"Yeah," he whispers. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, don't be! It's not your fault. I just, I don't like you that way? I'm sorry, I, uh, you're great and all, but," I ramble.

"Just stop, I get it alright? I understand, I do. I just need time, alright? I'm going to go now," he mumbles, looking at his feet.

"Okay, I'll see you around, Fitz." He turns around and walks away. I fall back against the tree, sighing. That was a weird turn of events. Definitely wasn't except any of that.

"Elwin, can I talk to you?" I yell at the house as soon as the door closes behind me.

"Woah, chill, I'm just in the kitchen," Elwin calls back, much less loud. He walks over to me. "What's up? Did something happen with Fitz?" He sits down on a couch.

"Well, yeah." I flop down next to him. "How'd you guess?"

"Pa—uh, just intuition, I suppose. I'm good at that sort of thing, being a medical professional and all."

"Right, of course. I bet you have to deal with kids not knowing why something hurts all the time." I smile.

"So, what happened with Fitz? Is he alright?"

"No, I don't think he's okay. But not in a, wow I don't really know how to put it. He, well, he likes me. And I don't. So he's not doing great." I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. "And I don't really know what to do either? Like, do I comfort him or leave him be? I don't know what's best here?"

"Oh, I see," Elwin says wisely. "What would you want if you were in his shoes?"

"Hm, I guess I would want space. But he's my best friend, I can't just let him wallow!"

"You can, actually. I know it's hard to see people you care about in pain, but he has other friends. Dex and him have been getting closer since you, uh, were in a coma, so he has at least one anchor. And I'm sure Biana will be there for him too. He has other people, Keefe, you don't need to carry everyone's weight all the time."

"But if I can help, shouldn't I? And most of the time it's my fault anyway, so I have a moral obligation to."

"Was it your fault this time?" I hold my tongue, trying to seem like I'm thinking about my answer, even though I already know.

"Yes. Right? How could it not be? I probably led him on, and now." I sigh.

"Actually, Keefe, it's not your fault. People can't control how they feel, and you certainly can't do anything about it. And it's also not your fault for not liking him back, you just don't, and that's okay." He pats my shoulder.

"How'd you know I was going to say that next?"

"Well, I was a kid too once. I was in a similar situation to Fitz, but felt the way you did. I know now that my feelings towards this person weren't anyone's fault, but at the time, I definitely did. It's all going to be fine, kiddo. Feelings pass. I bet you'll be back to normal before you know it."

"Normal? Is that possible?" I wonder.

"Well, if you make it weird, it'll be weird."

"Gee, thanks. I'll try not to act weird," I answer sarcastically.

Elwin sighs just as the door opens. Huz comes in, a burst of cold air after him. He kicks off his boots, cape, and scarf before flopping down on the couch across from Elwin and I.

"Oh, hello, honey," Elwin greets, turning away from me. "How was work?"

"The usual. Zara's making a lot of progress, which is good to see. She went through a whole session without lighting the chair on fire." Huz smiles. "What's going on with you two?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. Just teenager stuff," I respond before Elwin gets the chance to. Something tells me he'll spill everything, and I'd rather keep the embarrassment down to a minimum.

"Okay. Oh, have you given any more thought to getting help? I know the situation with your parents is bad, and I was just wondering if--"

"No, I haven't given it any thought," I interrupt, not wanting to further the subject. I keep getting put in corners here, I should probably make my excuses to leave.

As if on cue, my imparter rings.

"Hey, Keefe, you wanna hang now that you're awake and all? Sophie, Fitz, Biana, and I are already here at Rimshire." It's Dex.

"Um, sure. But, should I be there?" I ask, looking at Elwin to confirm that I can go. He nods in approval.

"Why would it not be?" Dex furrows his brow, looking confused.

"Oh, um, nothing. Just, well, is Fitz alright?"

Dex's face drops. "Oh. He told you then? He's a little spacey, I guess. But he told me to invite you. Um, yeah. He's fine, all things considered, I guess. But you're going to come?"

I nod and we hang up. "You coming with, Ro?"

"Naw, I got things to do. And anyway, you've been ignoring me, I think you'll be fine a little while longer," she answers, fiddling with a knife.

"Um, okay," I respond, unsure about whether or not to apologize. "Sorry?"

"It's fine, dude, go have fun." Ro smiles.

"Be back for dinner, or hail me if plans change, okay kiddo?" Elwin says.

"Yeah, 'course. I'll see you then," stopping myself before I say anything too sappy. It was close this time, but Elwin has been so caring I can't help but love him. He feels like the dad I never had, even more so than Alden.

I close the door behind me quickly, not dwelling on these thoughts, and leap to Rimshire.