?ENA x Reader One shots?

Warning: Mentions thoughts of uselessness, insecurities, feeling of loneliness, self-harm overall depressive things
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Y/n's POV
The bathroom floor was so hard, and cold, it was the worst thing to sit on to deal with these thoughts.

I stared at the sissors in front of me, seeing clumps of loose hair surround it. I trembled a bit as I stood up, seeing my reflection in the mirror; my hair was shorter than ever. I felt a few tears fall down my flushed cheeks, letting out small whimpers as I sob.

I began to feel worse as I cry, remembering mistakes that I made that ruined so many things for others, whether it be moods, days, time, name it, Im sure I ruined it at some point.

Every mistake I make makes me look more like a ignorant child, even the little ones ruin me. Just the other day, at work, I kept making mistake after mistake, after mistake; I'm sure everyone there with me was fed up with me, I'm sure they want me gone, they want me to be fired, or just quit.
They clearly are being obvious with it since they ignore my presence while I'm there. They only time I get attention is if I'm messing up. They basically do work for me, it's so pathetic; I'm pathetic.
Why did I ever think that I would even be fit for work anyways? I'm useless.

Everyone else probably thinks so, since now a days, people don't care much about other people's feelings.

No one listens to me, and hears me out anymore.
I'm told to write on paper to feel better, and not ruin my body with harsh marks. Even if I were to leave a few marks, I would get yelled at, and the situation will be out the door, and to never be mentioned again.

If I scrape my knee in silence, I get a bandaid, but if I scream out in the need of seeking help, nothing is given.

My friends don't notice much anymore. Sure, I'll vent but, I don't like to ramble on about my problems, overwhelming them with things that are just pathetic, and foolish.
They ignore it later on, except one.

ENA..

She's aware of me feeling this way.
She knows that I wish to seek help, but she's never around.
She's can be forgetful at times, so she may have forgotten about that, but I'm not sure, though I probably shouldn't care.

She does her own things, and I respect that. I hate bothering people anyways, I feel selfish when I ask for help, since I'm just taking away the person's time by just sitting there with a person like me.

I hate it.

...

My eyes opened.. I was stuck in my inner thoughts again, that or I was sleeping.
There was then knocking at my door.

"Y/n! It's ENA!" I panicked, and cleaned myself up a bit. My feet made their way to the door, as much as I wanted to avoid the door for five more minutes.

I opened it, and saw ENA. Her yellow smiled, seeming like she was happy to see me.

Come on ENA, I know you don't want to see me, Moony is a better friend than me.

"Hello y/n! May I please enter! I have some information I would like to share with you-" She stops speaking, and stares at me.

"Did you get a haircut?" She asks, giving me a confused look.
I hesitated before nodding.

"Yep! Th-The person messed up a bit, but I think it's fine." I say, as she nods. "Oh, um, come in, and sit down." ENA smiled once again, then walks inside my house, going for my couch.
I closed the door, and walked over to the couch, sitting next to her while keeping a distance between us.

"So, y/n, I must ask you something." ENA starts, having my attention.

"You don't go out as much now, and everytime I see you, you act different. Today, you don't seem too happy, you just seem a little quiet, and down." She continues.

"Is everything okay? Have things been okay lately?" She asks. I went silent.

"I'm sleepy."

She tilts her head.
"Sleepy?"

"I just got up."

"Y/n, you know that I know about you having episodes, there's no hiding."

She did remember.

I couldn't move.
I was frozen in place.

"Y/n..?"

Her hand goes to my cheek..
I'm crying.
No, no not in front of her.
I can't stop, they tears keep falling.

"I'm sorry ENA.. I'm so sorry for being a mess while you're here. I'm gonna try and c-calm down.."
I can't calm down.. Why?

"Gosh, I just can't stop c-can I?"

She then pulls me to her, embracing me. One of her hands was holding me, while the other stroked my back.
"Relax, don't feel so tense.." Her masculine voice..it was so relaxing.

I eventually calmed down, which ENA notices, then makes me look at her.

"I want you to sit here with me until you're comfortable with sharing your thoughts with me..okay?" She said, as her thumb rubs my cheek.

"Unless you wish to wait to share them, I don't want to force you.. But I hope that you do, since I want you to feel better.." I lay my head near her chest, and sigh.

I laid there, feeling myself slowly fall asleep.
Before I did, I heard ENA say something to me.

"Please rest well y/n, I love you."

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Read if you'd like:

This story was a vent.

I've always struggled to express my thoughts and emotions, and well, it hasn't been too swell. I'm not good with expressing my thoughts and emotions in writing, nor am I good with expressing thoughts and emotions verbally.

The internet is not the best place to vent, I'm completely aware of that, and I feel like a dummy for posting this, especially when the story is supposed to be an x reader story, and had to put something related to that in this oneshot, which explains why ENA is just thrown into the story here.

I'm sorry in advance to those who did read it.
I'm sorry that I used this horrible oneshot to express something in a horrible way.

I promise that the next chapter will be better.

Please, have a nice day/night. Stay safe