I really loved writing this chapter. It is such a different take than from my first book and I hope you all enjoy reading it.
"Hey sorry I'm late." Carter greets me.
"How was your flight?" He takes off his coat and makes himself comfortable as we wait for the doctor.
"Long but that's to be expected when flying in from Thailand." There's an awkward silence between us.
"Today is when we find out the sex of the baby."
"Yes, I am aware."
"What happened between us Carter?"
"What?"
"I mean...we were what I thought was in love and had all these plans and...what happened?"
"Ella..."
"No don't Ella me. This is serious. I want to know Carter."
"I don't see how that matters since you've been spending all of your time with Archibald."
"Wow."
"Don't try and deny it."
"Not saying I am. What I am saying is why is it any of your damn business?"
"You're carrying our baby Ella so yeah it is my damn business!"
"And you left me, Carter!"
"We were growing apart. There was nothing we had in common anymore."
"And because of that you just stop calling me and acting like we didn't mean anything to each other."
"I loved you, Carter. You...you made me feel..."
"And look how easy it was for you to move on with Archibald."
"What is your issue with Nate? He's been my friend for all of my life and...you just hate that he caught you trying to steal from him in poker."
"You think Archibald's going to be your Prince Charming?" I scoff at the comment.
"I don't need no damn Prince Charming."
"Hello." Dr. Gutierrez greets us and closes the door behind her.
"Hi, Dr. Gutierrez." Carter and I greet her.
"How are the mother and baby doing?"
"Nauseous and hungry all the time." I answer.
"That is typical. Do you need more of your prenatal vitamins?"
"I just picked her up some more from the pharmacy." Carter explains.
"Wonderful. Now are we ready to know the sex of the baby or are we going to do a big gender reveal?"
"Uh, no big reveal. We want to keep this between us." I answer. Carter does the only kind thing he can and holds my hand as the doctor places the gel on my stomach and ready's the wand.
"Okay, right there is the baby." She points out to us on the monitor.
"That's the heartbeat?" Carter asks as we're transfixed with our baby.
"Yes, and it's very strong. You have a healthy baby." Dr. Gutierrez confirms for us. "Now this is the hands..."
"10 fingers." I mutter and she nods her head.
"10 toes." Carter adds.
"And..." We look and Dr. Gutierrez smiles. "Are you ready?"
"Yes." We say together.
"You have a healthy baby girl." My smile gets bigger as I look at our daughter.
"We're having a girl?" I ask feeling complete happiness.
"Yes. Now, how many copies would you like to have?"
"Well I know I would like to have one for the scrapbook, Lily, my brother, and, uh..."
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"My mom and sister would like one and so would I." Carter answers.
"Six." I answer.
"Perfect. I will get those printed and we can schedule another appointment."
"And the nausea is there anything I can do for it?"
"While you're in school pack plenty of snacks and water. And if that doesn't work come back and we can figure a natural remedy."
"Thank you doc for taking such great care of my girls." Carter says and I give him a look.
"Any time and I'll see you at the next appointment."
"You didn't have to treat me to lunch."
"Nonsense. I need to make sure you have a healthy lunch."
"This week is Fashion Week."
"And it's your first time missing it."
"I had to turn down every offer to walk or open a show and...I couldn't give them a reason other than I'm focusing on school since it's my senior year."
"When are you going to tell people?"
"I have told people. The one that matters and everyone else can suck it." Carter chuckles at the comment.
"I will say I have missed your feistiness."
"You said it's one of the things you hated about me." I remind him.
"Pretty sure I said I loved it. There is very little that I don't love about you, Ella."
"Carter..."
"I know you won't understand it because I barely understand it myself." Carter lets out a big sigh. "Being with you was...I wasn't myself. I was trying to be what you needed. A good man. Someone I can never be."
"That's your reason for dumping me? Not giving a damn."
"You don't see it."
"See that you're not telling the truth. I see..."
"We were never going to work Ella. Never." Carter interrupts me. "We...I was never going to be what you needed."
"And you know what I need."
"You need someone who is going to make you happy and...that can't be me."
"Cause you wouldn't even try. We...we traveled the world together and had the best time. That's when we started to develop real feelings for each other. I...when did our love die?" I fiddle with my napkin wishing I could run out of this private room in the restaurant.
"There will always be love in my heart for you Ella but I know I would be doing you more harm than good. I promise you this I will be the best father and co-parent to our child. I will support her in everything she wants and...if Archibald happens to be the step-f..."
"Whoa!" I stop Carter. "That is a lot in that sentence. Nate and I are just..."
"You're dating."
"Uh..."
"My issues with Archibald are...my issues. But if he makes you happy then that's all I want."
"Is it because I'm too young?"
"Just on different paths Ella."
"Well..." I rest my hand on my belly. "Seems like we're on a very similar path." I smile at Carter. "Do you wan..."
"Uh..."
"I mean she's been kicking for a while and you're not always here so..."
"Yeah, I would love to." He reaches over and lightly places his hand on my belly. "When...whoa!" Carter's eyes widen as he finally feels our baby kick.
"She likes you."
"I...wow."
"I will always cherish the love we had during our relationship Carter. I...you will always be my first love."
"You will always be the one that got away." He mutters.
"You let me go, Carter. That's on you. Not me."
"If circumstances were different and life was perfect we would work out but...I don't want to hurt you more than I already have."
"Just always be there for our daughter and I won't have to kill you." I smile sweetly at him.
"Deal. Now about her name. There are some old family names I know would..."
"Really? You want to continue an old family name thing? Coming from someone who is so against traditions."
"But I know you're one for them even if you won't admit it."
"Okay, I have a list of names I definitely don't want."
"A list?" He questions me.
"It's not a long one but...not Emily, Emma, Elizabeth, Katherine..."
"This is not a shortlist Ella."
"It's just a list, Carter. Also no Cat, Zoey, or...you know I'll just email you the list of..."
"Okay how about names you do like?" Carter stops me.
"Oh, that...well I don't know yet. I only thought of the ones I don't like." He chuckles at me.
"Of course you did."
"What about you? Any great names."
"Adeline."
"No."
"Evangeline."
"Gwendolyn."
"No."
"Ella come on we need to figure out a name."
"Well, we've only started thinking about a name. We have time."
"Fine."
"I want you in her life and...for that to happen you need to be in the city more."
"And I am working on making that happen."
"I want to co-parent the best I can with you. I...I want our daughter to have the best life possible. I don't want her raised like we were. I want her future to be on her own accord."
"I agree."
"Can we be friends at least?"
"I can do that." Carter takes a sip of his drink. "Any man that comes into your life...I will support you. I want the best even if it's not me."
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"You'll always have a place in my heart Carter. Always."
I feel sadness driving by Bryant Park seeing all of the white tents ready for Fashion Week. Last year I missed school for a week so I could attend all of the shows I was walking in and now I'll just be a specter. I'm supposed to improve and now it feels like I'm regressing. "E." Blair finds me before anyone else. "Look at these." She shows me the invitations for the girls for her mom's show.
"They look amazing."
"I know right and I am the only girl at Constance with clout for Fashion Week." She sees my frown. "Oh E that...of course you always have clout and...I'm sorry that was insensitive of me."
"But it's the truth." I mutter.
"Hey cheer up. We will eat snacks and watch my mother's show from backstage like we always do. We're going to make it really special." She tries and cheers me up.
"Marc Jacobs asked my manager yet again why I wasn't walking and...I don't know how much longer I can keep this a secret."
"E..." Blair grabs my hand.
"I just...this was supposed to be my year to make my world in the industry and now I'm slowly being forgotten." I complain to her.
"Then remind them who you are. I...maybe you could walk the show for my mom. She would love to have you open and close for her. It would make it a big hit." Blair encourages me.
"I...I can't fit into any of the sample clothes anymore Blair." I hover my hands slightly over my stomach. "Things don't fit me the same way anymore and..."
"You are still the kick-ass strong and way too intelligent Ella Bass."
"Thank you, B." She takes my hand and leads us to the girls who are gossiping over some magazine.
"Ladies." Blair calls out to get their attention. "I trust tomorrow night you won't embarrass me." She passes each of the girls their invitation.
"Oh my God. Second-row seats to your mother's show?" Nelly gushes.
"Oh my God. Those are total movie star seats." Penelope is losing it which doesn't take much.
"Serena is in Women's Wear Daily." Hazel interrupts.
"With Poppy Lifton." Is exclaims. Blair and I look over seeing Serena in fact posing with Poppy who I have always thought of as a bitch who comes off sweet but don't get it wrong she's still a bitch.
"Serena could, like die now knowing that she's lived a fulfilled life." Hazel adds.
"Yes because being featured in Women's Wear Daily means a full life." I mock Hazel.
"I mean E you being a model is like wow and..."
"Haven't seen you do much work lately E. The industry done with you already." Penelope insults me as it can actually hurt me.
"Tired of making your brother be your photographer because no one wants to take your photo, Penelope." I fire back.
"Just thought you would be missing school like you did last year."
"I have to actually work to get into school unlike you Penelope who will just flaunt your dad's connections and try to sleep your way through STDs to get into what community college."
"You..."
"Hey, guys." Serena greets us stopping Penelope from continuing to open her giant mouth
"Oh my gosh. Is Poppy nice? She looks so nice." Hazel and Is talk over each other. Hazel turns the magazine over to show Serena the picture.
"Oh, gosh. I haven't even seen that." Serena states looking over the photo. Blair gets up with her yogurt. "Blair, where are you going?"
"I'll just leave you to your fans." Blair responds.
"I have better things to do." I mutter and take my exit.
"E." Serena catches up with me between classes.
"S, I have a chemistry test to..."
"You ace chemistry easily. But I need to know is there something off with Blair and me?"
"Uh, that is something..."
"Tell me. I am not trying to make her mad."
"Then try and make her happy S."
"It is not my job to make Blair happy. She...she's my friend and that's..."
"And you love and care about her. When you notice something is off with her then you should want to know why. We all know Blair needs more attention than most and that doesn't make her bad. That makes her Blair."
"Fine, I will talk to B, and...are you going to be home tonight?"
"Well I don't have any shows to walk in and...yeah I'll be home."
"Great then you can have dinner with Poppy and me." Serena says this like it's the best thing ever.
"Oh joy."
"Now why do you sound like that?"
"Poppy is your acquaintance."
"Poppy and I are friends."
"And as friends what do you talk about besides the parties you go to or people you're meeting."
"That's just how some friendships are like E."
"Surface level friends." I respond and Serena lets out a giant sigh.
"Now do I have to worry about you and B?"
"No need to worry about me S. Just be careful who you choose to be friends with."
"So is that a yes to dinner?"
"I'm going for the food, not the company." I fire back.
"Great." She yells back.
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"Hey, Chuck are yo...Dan." I slowly cover myself up not wanting Dan to notice anything off with me.
"Hey, Ella." He comes over to hug me and I hug him back. It's been awkward with us since him being insensitive towards Serena about the whole Amanda thing which I found out from Chuck was just a game he started to take the Queen title from Blair. I do not get in the middle of their little fights because I wouldn't make it out alive.
"Hi what are you doing here? Is Serena expecting you?" I ask him.
"Actually, I was wanting to speak with your brother."
"Chuck?" I ask confused.
"It's like the plague."
"Damn where did you come from?" Dan asks as he jumps from Chuck appearing to him out of nowhere but I know better. My brother is everywhere even when you don't know it.
"Instead of vermin on my doorstep, I get the human being. Beat it Humphrey my sisters don't dig stalkers."
"Chuck be nice."
"Why he's the stalker and a horrible friend to you by the way."
"Hey, we are good friends." Dan defends.
"Really? Because..."
"Okay, both of you stop!" I order.
"Actually, as strange as it sounds, I'm here to see you. I know we don't like each other." Dan says to Chuck. Chuck and I give him the same look.
"Like is one word for what my brother thinks of you." I comment.
"You think I'm a boring sheltered nobody."
"I don't think of you." Chuck states.
"Oh right, of course, you don't. But uh, but I've been thinking of me and I've come to the conclusion that I need to get out of my comfort zone. I need to experience new things."
"Are you gay?" Chuck asks and I hit his shoulder.
"Chuck!"
"It's an honest question. Nothing to be ashamed of." I know Chuck is bating Dan and he's falling right into it.
"Now, that would be out of my comfort zone, but no. Uh, I just need to get out of Brooklyn for one night. I'd like to experience the world of Chuck Bass."
"Dan you are not ready for that." I try to warn him. "A night out with Chuck you probably will come back with an STD or two."
"E, I'm going to have to reschedule our dinner."
"We didn't have dinner scheduled." I state to Chuck.
"You're lucky I'm bored."
"Chuck." He holds his hand up.
"Ella he wants to have a night out with Chuck Bass. I'm going to show him a night he'll never forget."
"Don't kill Dan." I whisper to Chuck.
"Kill?" Dan asks with fear in his voice.
"He won't actually kill you."
"Speak for yourself sister. Now get in before I change my mind." Dan stupidly follows Chuck into the elevator.
"Dan is going to die." I mutter.
__________________________________
"It is so nice to finally get to meet you, Mrs. Bass." Poppy is kissing Lily's ass so much she might as well surgically glue her lips to them.
"You too, Poppy. Please call me Lily."
"Hey mom, Poppy told me that you called her assistant to make arrangements for the three of us to go to Elanor's show together." Serena states to her mom while pointing towards Poppy and me.
"Serena doesn't seem to think it's such a good idea." Poppy comments.
"Because it would hurt our friend Blair. Who is actually more of a sister to us." I explain for Poppy.
"And things are already tense between us and we always watch the show backstage together, you know that mom." Serena tries to get through to Lily.
"I know you did that when you were 12. But it is an honor to sit in the front row and Eleanor specifically requested all of you."
"It is the only way to see a show, Serena." Poppy tries to get Serena to change her mind. "And Ella, I was so shocked to not see your name on the list of models. I thought you were continuing your career."
"I'm just taking a little break." I answer and how I wish I wasn't pregnant so I could drink my way through this pretentious dinner.
"But you're still modeling?"
"Yes." I answer not wanting to give Poppy more than that because that's all she deserves. "And to say again Blair would be furious if we broke our tradition for someone who's really just known from attending different parties and sleeping her way through all the men in the city all before she hits 30." I sip my drink while Poppy tries to think of a response because she knows what I said is true.
"Eloise." Lily scolds me.
"Oh please correct me if I'm wrong Poppy." I smile at her and you can almost see her botox cracking. "Would anyone like more bread?" I offer.
"I don't eat carbs." Poppy states.
"You know carbohydrates are a part of a healthy diet. Everything in moderation."
"Is that why you're eating a fourth roll?" She questions me.
"Sixth actually. Telling the truth and math are not your strong suits Poppy." I insult her more.
"Okay, that is enough. Eloise, please apologize." Lily orders.
"Actually, I'll just excuse myself." I grab my plate and head upstairs not needing this faker dinner.
__________________________________
"You did not tell Poppy Lifton that." Nate is laughing so hard over the phone.
"Yeah I was feeling really bitchy and...I could have said a lot worse to be honest."
"I doubt that. You're too sweet."
"You would be wrong about that Archibald. I can have a mean streak."
"Are you sure you want to go to Eleanor's show?"
"I...I already said yes to Blair and...I feel like she's going to need a lot of support. Fashion Week is always really hard for her. Eleanor's attention is even less on her than it could possibly be."
"Well, that makes you a really great friend E."
"Thanks, Nate." I play with my hair as I think about what I'm going to say to him next. "Yesterday I found out the sex of my baby."
"You did." I hear him move around.
"Yes and I'm having a girl."
"Congratulations. I know she's going to be just as intelligent, kind, and beautiful as you." He compliments me.
"You're just trying to sweet talk me."
"And if I was?"
"I...I would love it." I admit to him.
"You know I could come and support you tomorrow."
"Nate that isn't necessary."
"No my girl needs some support on a hard day. I know you had all of these plans to walk in all of the big shows. I know taking a year off is a lot for you. Let me be there for you."
"I...as sweet of you offering to be backstage with Blair and me..."
"I'll whisper all these wonderful sweet things to you." I giggle just thinking of what he would say.
"How about we meet up afterward? Go to a dinner and stay out the rest of the night just the two of us."
"It's a date."
"I..." I hesitate to say the words knowing it could be too early and this relationship is so fragile. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
__________________________________
"Ella over here!" The photographers keep snapping photos of me and I give them my best poses.
"You look amazing Ella!"
"Your skin is glowing! What is your secret?"
"Over here, Ella.
"Thank you for showing up!" Blair swarms me and drags me away from the cameras.
"Sorry I was throwing up a lot and..."
"Are you feeling okay? Do I need to get you an aspirin or...ginger ale?" She offers.
"I should be fine." Assure her. "Wow B this looks great."
"Thanks but not the seating." She looks hurt as she sees the names that her mother changed on her.
"B, don't take it personally."
"Oh, I won't because I fixed it."
"B, what did you do?" I question.
"Nothing just corrected a mistake."
"B..."
"Excuse me. I think there's been a mistake. My name is Serena van der Woodsen and someone else's name is on my seat." I hear Serena's voice.
"Let me check"
"There's no mistake." Blair jumps in now. "Miss van der Woodsen is sitting in the back row."
"No, she's not." Jenny comes up to us now arguing with Blair. "She's in the front row with Poppy Lifton."
"What are you doing here?" Blair questions her.
"My job, no thanks to you."
"Don't you have socks to darn?"
"Blair, this is not about you or me. Go find Serena's name card and put it on the correct seat." Jenny orders the assistant.
"Don't touch Serena's name card. It remains where it is." Blair argues.
"Here! I have it!" I state as I finished coming from the back with Serena's name.
"Jenny, why aren't you backstage?" Eleanor asks. "Oh, what's going on?" She asks noticing Serena's name card in my hands.
"Uh, it seems like someone's moved Serena's eat." Jenny answers.
"Yeah, someone." Serena emphasizes the word while glaring at Blair.
"What is the matter with you?" Eleanor questions Blair. "I am so sorry Serena. Would you take care of this right away, please?" Eleanor asks the assistant and I hand over the name cared. "Could you just spare me the dramatics for one day? Go backstage. Try not to get underfoot. Jenny, I am so glad that you are here." Jenny follows after Eleanor and I feel sadness for Blair.
"Just remember you two love each other no matter what." I say to them. Serena can't get the scowl off her face and Blair just runs backstage.
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"Really you're that mad at Jenny that you are trying to ruin your mom's show?" I scold Blair.
"I don't know what you mean." Blair acts like nothing happened.
"B, you sent the models home to try and get Jenny in trouble and get back at your mom."
"They weren't smart enough to see through the lie."
"That's your defense B? Really?"
"What was I supposed to do? I mean Serena is turning her back on our greatest tradition. I mean you still made sure to be there for my mom's show even when you were opening the biggest shows."
"Serena and I are different people B. You can't make us try and be the other person."
"Well, it seems like it didn't even work." Blair looks to the socialites like Poppy is getting dressed in Eleanor's clothes.
"Don't hate Serena forever B." I advise her and start to move out of the way
"Hey, Ella we need one more model." Jenny stops me holding up a dress.
"Uh...I'm not walking in any shows this year Jenny."
"The dress will look beautiful on you and...here let's just try it on and if you like another one then we..."
"Jenny, I..." I was trying to move out of everyone's way but I ended up getting the front of my outfit caught and I freeze as I hear a giant rip is heard.
"Ella, here let me help..." Jenny stops and I know what she sees. I hide my growing bump very well in the clothes I wear but...with the front of my outfit now exposed there is no hiding my bump.
"Please don't say anything." I beg her.
"Oh here..." Jenny quickly grabs a robe for me to cover myself in.
"When I said no I meant no Jenny."
"Ella, I had no idea."
"Please just..." I feel so exposed right now.
"Here, I can...I can take the seams out of this dress and fit it to you. It will fit."
"I just want to go home, Jenny." I grab my things.
"Ella..."
"Please Jenny, I just...please." This is a first for me. Leaving Fashion Week in tears.
Would you want some Chuck POV?