n// im back againnnnnn i couldn't keep y'all waiting now come on!!
this chapter was really interesting for me to write for a number of reasons and once again i am changing things from the show ever so slightly because it's my story and i do what i want! anyways i hope u enjoy <3
Grace never realised how much she enjoyed to sing until she gained attention from it. Truly, she didn't. It scared her, at first, standing up in a bar where there hadn't been singing since before the war, baring herself to drunken men and saddened soldiers, but then... then Thomas Shelby gave her permission. He saw her, heard her, at her rawest and truest form. When she sang in the Garrison, she wasn't an undercover operative working for the crown; she was her truest self.
She loved the loud choruses of the patrons, the laughing and volume of the men when she sang a song they remembered from their youth. She relished in the way they all stared into their drinks when she sang something sad. But eventually, as those highs began to wear off, she began singing for one person, and one person only.
The man whose approval she never quite received.
That's what all of this was about, wasn't it? Approval? Acceptance? Making the people in her life proud of her? She'd been doing so well before he came along. Why didn't he like her the same way everyone else did? What made her so acceptable to everyone else except him?
Grace thought she knew the answer. In fact, Grace thought she knew everything. She knew the only reason why Thomas Shelby didn't have the same fancy for her the way she did for him was because he was already infatuated with another.
The first time Grace Burgess laid eyes on Sybil Day, she didn't see anything special. She saw a girl with messy hair, eyes like coal, and a dress that looked like it'd been worn a million times at the very least. She saw ink stained fingertips and worn out expression. She saw someone that depended on a man to fix everything for her, with the way she came running into the Garrison upon their first encounter.
But that wasn't what Thomas Shelby saw.
She watched him as he dealt with her, how he handled her like she was glass. How she leaned into his touch and hung on every word. And for the first time in her sheltered life, Grace felt jealousy. True envy. She'd finally found the one thing she could never have, and it killed her.
Or so she thought.
As she sang in the Garrison, she watched the door as she always did, waiting for the man she craved to walk through the door, and ignore her very existence. For her, that was enough. Just being in his presence where the schoolteacher wasn't. In those moments, she had something that Sybil Day didn't. And like he always did, he opened the door, and walked in like the king he was in a past life. But this time... this time he stayed. He watched her.
Had she been wrong all this time?
Maybe she didn't know everything, after all.
She watched him as he took off his hat, leaning against the wall, watching her with the same fascination in which she watched him. He was seeing her again. Seeing the real her, just as she was seeing the real him. But this time, there were guns, no IRA members trying to kill them, no policemen failing to do their jobs. It was them, in the place where they first met, with her singing a song she knew he would love, and him smiling at her from across the room. If it weren't for the ground beneath her feet, she would have sworn she was dreaming.
As her song ended, she and Tommy didn't break their gaze. Their eyes stayed locked, blue to blue, and she felt it. The connection they were always supposed to have. She could have stayed there forever, had time permitted it, but she knew that she had to meet up with Campbell where the guns were being recovered.
The thought of it suddenly made her feel a little bit ill.
She gathered her things as her shift ended, and as she made her way to the door, Tommy reached out his hand and grabbed her upper arm gently, stopping her in her tracks.
"The song was beautiful, Grace."
Five words. That was all it took.
As she walked through the graveyard, her mind was flooded, thinking on the last conversation she'd had with Chester. She'd asked him to spare Tommy, as he'd saved her life. He agreed, but it was tentative. But now... there was a new component to it all.
"All but one gun accounted for." Campbell announced, meeting her in the middle.
Grace stood still as the man approached her, bringing her in for a hug. As he drew back, she couldn't bring herself to quite match his enthusiasm. Thomas Shelby, a man who had given her employment, a man who had protected her, a man who danced with her in a room full of the most dangerous men in Birmingham, the man who saved her life, was going to be crucified by the man holding her now.
"Then, sir, I resign my commission." Grace confessed.
"Good. Good." Campbell spoke, trying to hide the nerves of his own. "So, I am no longer your superior officer, and you are no longer my subordinate. And therefore, regulations permit me to offer you this."
Of all the directions this conversation could have gone, this was the last way Grace had expected it to go.
"I am a simple man, but a good man. And my admiration for you... has turned to love. I don't ask for love in return. Just recognition that we are like minds, with shared values. Grace, will you marry me?"
The ringing in her ears was deafening as the smile on Chester's face began to fall.
"Mr. Campbell, you deserve better."
It all fell into place for the old man in that moment.
"Is it him between us?" he asked. "Is it that beast that dug that grave? Is it him?!"
Grace couldn't bring herself to say the words aloud.
"My resignation with be with you in the morning."
And as she turned around and walked away from the man, she heard him.
"If you think you're the only innocent girl he's bewitched, Grace, you'd be wrong." Campbell called out. "He's got you and that Day girl wrapped around his fingers, but let me tell you this with a clear mind. Neither of you are anything to him but a pawn in his game. You mean nothing to him. And when he is your mutual downfall, I want you to remember this warning."
All Grace could do was keep on walking. She knew that Campbell was wrong. She knew it in her bones.
Tommy knew that from the moment he'd sent her a smile from across the bar and touched her arm, his plan was in motion. Grace was used to having it all, and therefore, he'd make it so. If she was the double agent that his Sybil thought she was, everything was going to fall into place. And the moment he found the grave empty, he turned to his little brother and did the hardest thing he'd had to do to the boy yet: say goodbye.
"There's going to be trouble now, Finn. You look after yourself, do you hear me? I'm going to be going away for a while." he explained, bringing the boy closer and forcing eye contact. Sighing, he placed a kiss on top of his peaked cap and got on with it. "Right. Go on."
And as he watched the sun rise over the horizon, he got that funny little feeling again. The same feeling of dread he got the night before, when he had to say goodbye to the only woman he'd ever love. He knew that the copper was going to come after him, and this time, it would be personal.
It was time for the next step in his plan.
Walking through the doors of the Garrison like he'd done the previous day, he walked right up to Grace and opened the back door, wordlessly telling her to come with him. As she entered, he took a moment to take her in. Her hair wasn't as vibrant as Sybil's; too flat and mousy for his liking. Her stature was tight and rigid, and her eyes were a dull blue that he knew she'd probably been complimented on her entire life. In the eyes of anyone else she would have been a beauty. A prize to be won, even. But all Thomas Shelby saw before him was a wolf in sheep's clothing.
"I'm going to have to lie low for a while." he confessed to her, giving her a sense of importance.
That's all people like Grace needed, really.
"Why?" she asked, looking up worriedly.
"I lost my bargaining power. This copper, it's just me and him now. When I get back, I'm gonna tell you some things."
"Harry said the police are already in Digbeth."
"Yeah."
"You took a chance coming here. Why?"
But before Tommy could deliver his methodical answer, the door was opened, revealing none other than his little brother. And if matters weren't so pressing, he'd've sworn he saw disappointment on his face at the sight of Tommy with Grace.
"The police are in the lane, Tommy!" he exclaimed.
And without a moment's worth of hesitation, Grace replied: "Come with me."
Tommy wove in and out of the streets with Grace as she led him down the familiar path to her flat, narrowly escaping what Inspector Campbell had in store for him. Except this time, instead of walking her to the door, he followed her up the stairs, and inside.
"It's not much of a place." she apologised, lighting some candles as Tommy shut the door.
"It's all right." he shrugged.
"You want tea?"
"Tea? No."
"I have rum," Grace offered.
Tommy paused for a moment, looking up at the ceiling before responding quickly.
"Actually, tea it is."
"You want to impress me?" Grace asked coyly.
This time, Tommy didn't hesitate.
"Yes." he replied. "And do you have a biscuit?"
"No. They attract mice."
Tommy watched as she moved around her kitchen, like she was barely using it for the first time herself. He recalled the night that he and Sybil were first this close, and found himself wishing that he could have gone back to that moment instead of being here, in another woman's kitchen, watching her struggle to make him tea.
"People look different at home." he mused.
"In what way?"
"Off guard."
Grace stared at him for a moment. His relaxed posture despite it all, the way his hair fell flat on his forehead... he looked perfect.
"Should I be on my guard?" she asked.
"No." he scoffed. "I'm a man who drinks tea."
As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Those were the same words that he'd said to Sybil in her kitchen, that first night. He almost found it funny, in a way. He was in the lion's den, and all he could think of was how his Sybbie looked in her flat, all banged up and bruised, but still giving him hell. That's what she did best, he supposed. Sybil Day gave hell. And there he was, saying those same words to another woman.
The thought of it made him sick.
"When the trouble dies down, I'll go." he continued.
"When will it die down, do you think?"
"Late, I would say."
"So not until the morning, then."
Tommy knew what she was hinting at, and it made him feel even sicker.
"Yes. I'd say I'll be here till morning."
Morning couldn't come sooner.
"You have a gramophone." he pointed out, changing the subject.
"It's broken."
"We could still dance."
Nothing he hadn't done before with the woman.
"Yes. Why not?"
Walking over, Tommy forced himself to look her in the eyes and smile, recalling everything from the Cheltenham Races.
"I know you like to be asked properly," he spoke, forcing the smile to stay on his face. "Grace, can I have this dance?"
Taking her hand in his large one, he began swaying with her to the sound of absolutely nothing. It felt wrong, but he knew it was necessary. And if he closed his eyes and thought hard enough, it was almost like he was dancing with his Sybbie...
Almost.
In the heat of the moment, Grace pressed her lips to his, in a soft kiss, and it took every ounce of willpower he had to not go completely rigid. Swallowing his discomfort, he kissed her back, moving his hands to her cheeks to keep some sort of control over the situation. He didn't want her any closer than she was in that moment, and he swore that when she was finished, he'd burn the skin off of his lips.
Pulling away, he pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes for a moment as he did so to catch his breath.
"What's wrong?" Grace asked, confusion seeping into her face. "Are you alright, Tommy?"
"I'm alright," he replied. "I just... I can't."
Tommy opened his eyes just in time to see Grace's face drop.
"It's... It's the schoolteacher, isn't it?"
Tommy let out a laugh, shaking his head at the woman.
"Sybil Day is a family friend, nothing more," he lied through his teeth. "We grew up together. She tutors Finn. She ran into some trouble recently, and needed some protection. She's nothing to me, Grace. Nothing like you."
"Oh," she blushed, buying into every word he said. "I just thought..."
"I said that I couldn't because I didn't want to do it like this, Grace. I want to do this right... Whenever that might be."
Grace nodded, seeming in much better spirits already.
"Come on," Tommy spoke, changing the subject. "It's late. Let's get some rest."
And as the night fell around them in the small bed of her flat, Tommy didn't get a wink of sleep. How could he? He was in his enemies home, in her bed, feeding her the false delusion of their blooming love, when he should have been on the other side of town, with his woman.
Thomas Shelby should have been in his bed, running his fingers through his love's wild tresses. He should have been rubbing his finger along her cheek as she slept, and should have been kissing her forehead whenever she stirred. He should have been pretending to be asleep just to give her a few more moments to stare at him, knowing that that was how she liked to start her mornings. He should have been with the woman that was going to be his wife one day, not with the woman his future wife detested.
Those thoughts and the sound of shovels were the only things keeping him company during those long hours.
As the sun began to rise, he stirred, creating the false illusion that he'd just woken up for Grace. He continued his charade, drinking tea with her and making conversation until it was time for him to leave, resulting in a huge weight lifting off of his shoulders as soon as he left her flat.
His plan had worked. The trouble had died down, indeed.
There were no more coppers after him, at least for the time being. He was going legitimate. He picked up his documents, his business cards, his brother from the ledge their poor excuse for a father had left him on. And after that was taken care of, he made his way to his woman, who was just as he imagined she'd be at this hour of the morning: sleeping, as it was her day off.
Slipping under the covers with her, he wrapped his arms around her, feeling her settle in immediately. He found it so amazing how her body — even though unconscious — knew it was him. He stayed just like that for a while, not daring to move a muscle. He needed this. To ground himself while all the rest of the world was sleeping.
He may have gotten rid of the copper (at least for now), but that didn't mean that the battle still wasn't uphill. He still had Billy Kimber to take care of, but he'd do that. He'd do anything to return to this.
After a while, he felt her stir, blinking away the sleep from her pretty brown eyes. He smiled a bit, watching her come to the realisation that she was in his arms.
"You came back," she muttered, looking up at him. "You came back to me."
"I'll always come back to you, Sybbie."
"And in one piece, too."
Tommy let out a laugh — a real laugh — for the first time in days. Nodding, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and breathed in the smell of her hair, taking her all in.
"No," he disagreed, moving down to kiss her cheeks, then her lips, and then her neck. "I came here half a man. And then I crawled into bed with the most beautiful woman to ever live, and now I'm whole."
Sybil closed her eyes at the sensation, letting him do whatever he wanted in those moments. She let him in as he rocked her slowly into the morning, making sure that not a single inch of her was left unappreciated and unloved. She came undone for him, and he did the same for her.
They were whole.
Sybil and Thomas laid under her covers, breathless and blissful, just laying in each other's embrace as the world around them woke up.
"I don't hear the shovels against the wall..." he whispered out into the chilled air.
"What shovels, my love?" she asked quietly.
Tommy didn't answer. Instead, he turned to her, and asked a question of his own.
"Will you help me?"
"With what?"
"With everything. The whole fucking thing. Fucking life, business. I finally got you. And you finally love me. I just... I just need you to help me."
Sybil smiled softly at him and pressed a kiss on his lips.
"We'll help each other."
That was all he needed to hear. Funny, how she always knew what to say. And funny how he always knew how to ruin it.
"Today I'm going to kill a man." Thomas said stoically, staring down at her. "Then I'll come home to you. We'll lay here until I don't know where you end and I begin. And then tomorrow, the real business will begin."
Sometimes Sybil pondered what it would be like to be a stranger to the notion of her beloved being a murderer, but every time she tried, she failed. She reckoned it was because she didn't want anyone else, and she was okay with it. As long as he didn't get caught, or killed, she'd find a way to deal with the rest.
"Is it that man? Billy Kimber?"
"Yes."
"Is he a bad man?"
"Worse than I. Which is why I have to take him down."
"And after that?"
"Then we'll have it all, Sybbie."
Sighing, Sybil nuzzled her head deeper into his chest and squeezed him so hard that her arms began to tremble.
"I'm way too tired to want it all."
Sighing once more, Thomas placed a series of soft kisses to her head, before resting his lips there as he contemplated his plan.
"Well you best wake up, Sybil Rose, because we've got a family meeting to attend." he muttered. "We can sleep when a man is dead."
n// ok i don't know if i've ever mentioned billie's full name in this book but in my head it's Sybil Rose Day because she is beautiful and perfect and i love her :) so if any of you spot something from earlier PLEASEEE let me know if not oh well !
also ok as a rule i don't really write smut because that just isn't me but i had to throw in the fact that billie does in fact get piped in this book bc we all know how tommy is LMFAOOOO anyways i know this chapter was extremely long and not very billie/tommy centric but unfortunately we can't have our just desserts :/
ps sorry to end it on that note i just felt it was getting too long so i'll see you all soon and as usual please forgive any typos/mistakes and be sure to let me know your thoughts as u read!!! nothing brings me more joy<33
love you!!