PROMPT: "YOU HAVE TO LET GO"
SUMMARY: severus finds himself doing the same activity as his soulmate who just so happens to be his apprentice, he clings onto the fact that the reader is not his soulmate. he loves her but doesn't want to believe it, but friendly advice from professor mcgonagall gives him the leg up he so needed.
title's name sake: lyrics from the moody blues song, nights in white satin.
word count: 2752
***
everyone had known severus snape; there was no doubt he was one of the finest teachers in hogwarts. you had been nothing but his apprentice, being a former hogwarts students yourself; you knew that there was nobody quite like severus snape. the man was different.
so when he approached you one day, asking if you would like to work with him and be an apprentice for him; you really couldn't believe your ears, quick to take the apprenticeship.
in the early days of your apprenticeship, you really started from the bottom and worked your way up. first he had you in his potions cupboard, sorting out each of his potions in alphabetical order and within that order, it would go from most to least dangerous. how many potions he had was out of the question, you could fill a whole house with it.
then you moved up to the level of cleaning cauldrons. you'd think cleaning cauldrons would be simple? well try doing it without magic, it was quite gruelling but at the end of the day this was your apprenticeship and you did want to become a professor at hogwarts.
after the tedious tasks was more or less done, you and severus would go on search for ingredients. some more easier to find than others. but it gave you both the chance to get to know one another, you liked those days where you would find potion ingredients. you would talk for hours and hours, and severus would be enthralled by your life post-hogwarts.
once you'd done assisting severus, you'd go back to your chambers, reliving the countless hours you spent with him.
you wrote about them even, a leatherbound notebook was always at your bedside table. you would always write about your day and the things you did with severus. how you wished for the day to not be over, you could spend hours being with him. if there was anyone you wanted to spend your life with, it was him.
***
you were in potions class, which just so happened to be your favourite class. since your 6th year, you wanted to take a n.e.w.t for this class for which luckily you just happened to make the class. you quite enjoyed the class, as a 7th year it challenged you and mastered your ways of thinking about potions, and how to make them of course.
you often stayed back to help your potions master prepare for his next class, before going to your own. those times left you with some very insightful conversations, little inside jokes between you and your professor. he would often give you calming or sleeping draughts in the times of stress, which helped you loads.
this year you applied for the role of head girl, it was something you so desired. your mother was head girl at hogwarts, your father also was head boy so naturally, you would be next in line. it was a long process, no doubt and everyday felt like a campaign. you remembered the week of interviews, being interviewed by professor dumbledore and professor mcgonagall was a moment of sheer intimidation. they both knew you were a born leader, they quite often mistook you for gryffindor in some moments but you were a slytherin at heart.
you were also interviewed by a few of the teaching staff and one from the order. whilst it was fortunate that you managed to grab an interview with professor snape, and it had gone successfully, unfortunately that had to be professor umbridge, but you had bitten your tongue the whole interview with her. you had hoped that the students and staff had made the right choice.
"before i dismiss you, i do have an announcement to make. can our head boy and head girl applicants stand up?" severus announced in front of the class.
you stood up, next to you was benjamin franzen: fellow slytherin, andreas smithers: hufflepuff elijah white: ravenclaw. elizabeth haddon: gryffindor and miranda taylorson, another hufflepuff.
your professor had taken an envelope from his desk. you beamed, you knew that inside was the decisions that the school had made. "inside, two of you will be head boy and head girl of hogwarts. you speak on behalf of the students and defend the crest of hogwarts. good luck is in order." he said. taking out piece of paper, he saw two names. leaving his shock inside.
"your head boy this year will be benjamin franzen." he announced. you high fived benjamin, praising him on such an achievement.
another win for slytherin, would you be the next?
"and your head girl is..." he paused, looking at the paper.
"miranda taylorson." he said.
your heart dropped, smashing to the ground. defeated, you applauded.
"your newly recruited head boy and head girl will be making their speeches at the dinner tonight, benjamin and miranda, congratulations are in order." severus said, you sat down as your hair covered your face, hiding away your expressions.
"class is dismissed." he announced, you didn't move, watching your classmates go off and the new head boy and head girl, quick to walk side by side as they discussed their interview process.
severus looked at you with a frown on his face. he approached the chair next to you and sat beside you. your lip trembling as you let out your tears, sobbing in defeat.
"i tried my hardest." you wept.
"i know you did y/n, its all going to be okay." severus reassured as he pulled you into his arms. his cloak draping over your shaking body.
severus saw a lot of himself in you, so he couldn't help but let his guard down for you.
"y/n look at me." he instructed, you tucked your hair and looked up at the potions master.
hurt dwelled in his eyes as he saw your expression.
"you worked so hard during this process, not many people get to this point. so you should be proud y/n, very proud of yourself." he said.
"but i've failed professor-"
"shh. none of that y/n. you didn't fail, you were simply looked over. but i know you well. there's going to be much more opportunities that's better than this. you just need time." he assured.
severus thought for a moment, then he he had an idea. none that had been done before.
"how about this, if you do come back to hogwarts, which i have no doubt you will, i will make you an apprentice. you'll assist me and get to know the inside of potions." he offered.
"you would...do that?" you asked. severus nodded. "you're one of the best y/n. why wouldn't i take you under my wing. dare i say, you're my favourite student." he said.
you wiped your tears away and hugged him, severus was left unsure of how to react. but he loosened, hugging you back.
"i would love to be your apprentice. thank you! thank you so much!" you sniffled, giggling softly through your hug.
a smile formed on severus, your warmth was getting to him.
"you're welcome y/n."
you let go of him, wiping smaller tears. "now where's that smile hm?" he pressed, ruffling up your hair. you giggled, letting a small grin lay on your face.
"that's the spirit, now come on. we've got marking to do, you can tell me about the rest of your day too if you desire, apprentice." he said, summoning your patronus assuring your teachers you were with him.
you got up, following him to the desk as you marked some of his 3rd year assignments. discussing your plans after hogwarts, how you would like to teach at hogwarts.
you would take being professor snape's apprentice any day.
***
"starfish goes here, the rays of nomura's jellyfish goes there and the venom of a spitting snake...there." you mumbled to yourself, sorting out the new stock of ingredients you and severus managed to find, putting them in its respective containers.
"did you handle the jellyfish and spitting snake venom?" severus asked, you showed the recent containers of said ingredients. he praised you and let you put them back.
"i should go, its almost time for the midnight patrols. thanks for today sev." you said, giving him a kind smile.
he nodded, letting you go back to your chambers. once the door closed, he sighed to himself. he couldn't reciprocate the feelings you had for him back. he was left fearful at the concept of love.
he let himself go to his desk. grabbing his quill, and writing away the thoughts he had. 11:24pm
dear y/n l/n,
thank you for assisting me today in the search of some of my ingredients. i never mentioned why i needed the rays of a nomura's jellyfish and venom from a spitting snake. i'll be taking a new group of potions students, they are going to be my 8th years. granted, we never had that back in my time or yours, but minerva insisted that those who stayed for this 8th year will be able to unlock potential like never before.
but that's besides the point, i appreciate everything you do from the bottom of my heart.
i don't think i had ever mentioned this to you but i have feelings for you, i love being around you. i don't know what it is, whether you just let talk for hours, or that ounce of physical affection you give me but i love you.
you make me feel whole, in a way i couldn't pinpoint before. life has been quite a rocky road, as i feared i would never be able to love again, but when i asked you to be my apprentice i knew i wasn't making a mistake.
i hope you accept these feelings i have for you.
yours lovingly
severus snape.
***
you opened your drawers, underneath all your unsent letters, you grabbed a role of parchment paper and your quill. you dipped your quill in the ink and you wrote away. 11:24pm
dear severus,
i had a really fun time with you. i know i'm supposed to take this apprenticeship thing very seriously, considering i want to teach here; but being around you everyday makes me feel warm inside. also i wanted to say thank you for taking me under your wing as your apprentice, you know how much this means me and i hope we can continue working alongside it.
i don't think i had ever mentioned this to you but i have feelings for you, i love being around you. i don't know what it is, whether you just let talk for hours, or that ounce of physical affection you give me but i love you.
you make me feel whole, in a way i couldn't pinpoint before. life has been quite a rocky road, as i feared i would never be able to love again, but when i asked you to be my apprentice i knew i wasn't making a mistake.
i hope you accept these feelings i have for you.
yours lovingly,
y/n l/n.
you sighed to yourself, in hopes that the day that you would admit what you wrote to the man himself would be a day you wouldn't forget. turning off the light, you laid in your bed. the only thing you could think about was him.
***
you were obviously more tense than usual, you had to deliver these potions to severus but in this rare occasion, he wasn't in his classroom. you sat by the door as you waited, looking at both ends of the hallways but to no avail.
on the other side of things, severus had to visit professor mcgonagall. having been running quite a few errands and teaching his classes, he had his hands full.
"thank for returning these papers to me, i'll take a look." minerva said, severus nodded and just before he was about to walk off, minerva called him back to the office.
"how is the apprenticeship with y/n coming along?" she asked.
"its going well, she's improved loads since her time at hogwarts. why? is there anything that concerns you?" he asked.
"oh no no, nothing to worry over but it looks as if you're very fond of her." she said. severus said nothing, afraid to admit that it was true.
he had yet to gain closure from his own time at hogwarts, how that wretched james potter snatched her away from him.
lily.
there was no acceptance, nothing. he couldn't move on.
"severus, you know you're not the first that's been in this positon." minvera said. the potions professor glared at the elder lady, confused.
"we all have the lovers we've lost and we cannot let go of them. for reasons untold, but that won't stop you from loving the next." minerva said.
"are you suggesting that i...let go?" severus asked, shock laid in.
"you have to let go, i know how much lily meant to you. but i know one thing for sure, y/n is the one for you, she's not lily no doubt but give her a chance severus." she said.
a teardrop laid into his palms, quickly wiping them away. he got up, nodding at minerva before heading to the door.
"thank you." he said.
severus made his way to his class, he saw you waiting for him outside the class.
"hi sev!" you said, waving sheepishly. he opened the door to his classroom and you were quick to put the potions on one of the desks.
severus observed you put the potions away, not saying anything watching you as you were in your element; humming to yourself as you did.
severus looked at the owl that had gone past, swooping over and dropping two letters by the windowsill.
"oh a letter? i didn't know we were popular." you said, going over to severus and picking up the letter sent to you and him.
your brows furrowed, this was quite bizarre. you could recognize severus' writing from anywhere and so did he with yours. you both opened the letter at the same time, unfolding the paper and both of your eyes widened.
you peered over to see what his letter said, that was your handwriting. he too looked over to see what your letter consisted of, that was also his handwriting.
"could you...read what that middle part says?" you asked.
"at the same time?"
you nodded.
"i don't think i had ever mentioned this to you but i have feelings for you, i love being around you. i don't know what it is, whether you just let talk for hours, or that ounce of physical affection you give me but i love you. you make me feel whole, in a way i couldn't pinpoint before. life has been quite a rocky road, as i feared i would never be able to love again, but when i asked you to be my apprentice i knew i wasn't making a mistake. i hope you accept these feelings i have for you. yours lovingly..." you both read at the very same time, without breaking eye contact.
there was no way that he felt the exact same way for you, this wasn't reality.
"could you pinch me?" you asked
"what?"
"i just want to make sure this is real." you said.
he pinched your arm, you were still standing in front of him. letter in your hand.
"okay...this isn't a dream." you admitted.
severus sighed, "i've been hesitant in sending this to you...i've had fears of..you know." he admitted.
"so have i. but, if we gave each other that chance." you said, taking your hand in his.
"i promise i will always stand by you, protect you with my life and i swear to never hurt you." he said.
"i promise wherever you go i will go with you, i will always be here and trust me. i won't go anywhere." you promised also.
"do you want to do this, y/n?" he asked. you smiled reassuringly and nodded.
"of course i do." you said. you wrapped your arms around his neck, softly smiling at him.
"it's like we're destined to be one another." he said.
"like soulmates."
"exactly that."
a soft tender kiss united you, his hands slowly moving down to your waist, as the morning sunlight shone over you. pulling away for a moment, your eyes were only on him. severus pulled you into a hug, a warm hug.
you were very much destined to be one another, like you said.
soulmates.