When I returned to Loki's room I jumped at the sight of a figure before me. I was so accustomed to being alone in this room now, that seeing Loki before me put me at slight unease. I also became acutely aware of the wine that had somewhat clouded my judgement. He stepped out of the shadow, chalice in his hand. Part of me wondered if this was to be my life in the future. To become wary of the man I love as his behaviour continues to derail. I hated that he made me feel on edge. That I couldn't just rush into his arms and let him hold me.
"Is this to be a quick visit, or will his highness be gracing me with his presence for the rest of the evening?" He sauntered over to me, feeling somehow taller. As if his ego had caused him to tower higher over me. Despite the room around me, I felt trapped by his presence. He noticed instantly, circling me like a vulture circling its prey. All bravery from earlier had long since vanished, the wine clouding my judgement. So I stayed trapped by him, waiting until he slowly made his way back round to my front.
"Did you have a good time tonight, pet?" His tone was low and he spoke quietly. As he asked, he gently pushed his seiðr into my hair, letting it all fall from my braids. Once it fully cascaded down, he pushed it off of my neck and shoulders. Goosebumps spread across my skin as his fingertips grazed my skin lightly. The use of my nickname too caused my body to react, sending shivers down my spine and heating my cheeks.
I didn't want to react to him. If anything I wished I could force my body to stop responding to his touches, to his words, to the way his breath danced across my skin as he inched closer. It wasn't just his presence that put me on edge, his actions gave me cause for concern. He'd been drinking, the honey scent of mead lingering in the air, that could fuel his actions. But I'd now seen him drunk, and he was not currently drunk. Part of me wondered how much of an eye he kept on the banquet. I suspected the Lord from earlier was spying on me, or he could himself do so. I knew he could hide his seiðr, with his strength in illusions I doubted I would know. He could be mad at my words, or for dancing with Thor. Perhaps my plan worked faster than I intended. Or maybe he was too consumed in his own mind to pay heed to me at all. When his eyes met mine all thoughts died. It no longer mattered to me what fuelled his actions, only that something did. Any retort to him died on my tongue before it even formed. With few light sources around the room, the shadow threatened to swallow us both, his black hair blending into the darkness around him along with his dark clothes. It felt strange. Like we were no longer the people who stepped into this room, but who were on a deeper level. Two assassins alone in the dark, each with an ulterior motive. But if my goal was to understand why he acted like this, I'd already lost.
His finger brushed over my pulse point on my neck and a lazy smirk lit up his face as he felt it quicken. Slowly, his fingers made their way to my chin and held it in place. He forced me to gaze up at him, demanding an answer with a small hum and a raised eyebrow.
"Y-yes. It was okay." His smirk grew slightly as he let go of my chin and ran the back of his index finger down my neck and to my shoulder.
"Just okay? Hmm?" He couldn't even make it seem like he wasn't paying attention to what his hands were doing. He was not invested in the conversation at hand, nor did I think he actually cared about my time at the banquet. A fingertip slipped just under the fabric of my dress at my shoulder. My breath hitched as warmth exploded throughout my body.
You should have been there, Loki." My voice was barely a whisper as my eyes fluttered closed. His finger slowly moved left, across my neckline. There was no escaping this now. He knew I wanted him and I knew I craved his affections too much to push him away. Regardless, this was dangerous. Both of us should have put a stop to it. Neither of us should have indulged in our worst habit. We ran from each other before but ignoring how we truly felt and getting lost in each other was something new. I'd ran to sex and alcohol before and I believed he had done as well. If we continued to do so with each other I feared the damage would be irreversible. And yet my body didn't move away. If anything it leaned towards him.
"Next time, my love." I felt his breath graze my neck as he leant down closer. I could hear how he breathed below my ear, near that sensitive spot he always gravitated to.
"Loki..." I warned, hoping he would retreat to let me catch my breath. Hoping I could find the strength to stop it. His tongue darted across my skin quickly and my knees weakened slightly at it. A tiny moan escaped my lips as my hands went to move up to him. Still, I managed to force them to stay at my side for now. His deep chuckle sounded loud near my ear. I went to mutter his name, hoping for another warning but knowing it would likely come out more seductive than intended.
"Hush pet." Gently, he placed both hands on my shoulders and encouraged me to turn on the spot. I was pressed against his body as one hand came around my neck, holding my head to look up at him. It also revealed my neck for him, and he didn't hesitate to bring his lips to the skin there. My body leant into him without question as he lightly
"We shouldn't do this, Loki. We need to talk."
"We will."
"Loki..." I warned as his words warmed my skin and tasted sweet in my mouth. It should have put me more on edge but instead I finally let them lull me into a calmer state. Once again I became putty in his hands.
"We will talk tomorrow, Kaya." His lips grazed the spot just below my ear and I unsuccessfully stifled a moan. "Tonight just let me make you feel good."
He pushed himself against me, letting me feel how hard he was behind me. Every cell in my body begged for me to give in to him without question, and even part of my mind did too. I didn't want to think about anything. I wanted to get lost in him, in how wonderful I knew he could make me feel. My heart screamed for any attention from him. Even my seiðr felt relieved as it finally felt whole by his side. It washed over me, warming my body in another way. I wanted to ignore my head. To let the lies that dripped off of his silver tongue wash over me and calm every fear I had. But I couldn't. I knew in the morning I would regret it. No matter how good it felt as his right hand gripped my hip and pulled me into him, how his lips made me feel as they danced across my skin, or amazing it felt as his left hand crept lower beneath my neckline of my dress, in the morning it wouldn't. I tried to step out of his grip, wanting to get some air and maybe some water. He didn't let me move an inch, tutting me as I tried to leave.
"Stop with your games, pet. We both know you don't want to fight this, so don't." He pulled all of my hair over my right shoulder and whilst his right hand kept me held firmly against him, he moved his left to begin undoing the buttons on the back of my dress.
"I'm not playing games, Loki. I just don't think this is a good idea." The hand on my hip moved lower as I spoke, causing my breath to hitch slightly.
"I want to make you feel good, darling. You want that too. Don't you?" With the buttons undone on the top half of my dress, he easily pushed the fabric off of my shoulders exposing my breasts. His left hand groped my left breast, putting two fingers on either side of my nipple and pinching it between them. At the same time, his right slipped under my dress and around my waist. I leant my head back into his shoulder as his hand moved lower, creeping into my underskirt and underwear. He didn't tease or keep me on edge, his finger finding my clit without hesitation. I bit my lip to stop myself from responding too loudly. But he worked my body so well and it wasn't long before I was stifling moans. "Let me hear you, love. Don't hide from me." The heat was rising in my core as he continued to circle my clit in small quick movements. Soon he didn't need to ask. I leant back into him and let my moans flow freely. "That's it. Good girl." His words brought me as close to the edge as his finger did. One of my hands gripped his hair and the other gripped my dress. I was building far too fast and his sweet words of praise weren't helping. I couldn't focus on anything besides the way his hand worked my body perfectly. A reminder that he didn't need my shields to be down to know exactly what I needed. Soon he pressed down harder, his movements quicker. I half expected him to stop, but he didn't. Heat exploded from my core as I finally reached orgasm.
He slowed his finger but didn't stop suddenly as he worked me through my orgasm patiently. Throughout all my moans, I realised he made a soft groan as well as my hand tucked at his hair. Once I was able to keep steady on my feet, he began to undo the rest of the buttons on my dress. Finally some common sense hit me. I stepped away from his grip and turned, moving my hands to hold my dress up over my breasts.
"Loki, please can we talk instead. I really don't want to run anym–"
"Not tonight, pet. Now come back here." And part of me really wanted to. I knew he could help me forget. I knew he could make me feel free and loved. But that nagging voice in the back of my head, the one that saw reason, wasn't so easily swayed.
"Ástin mín, I–"
"You were happy enough for me to make you cum, pet. Do you intend to just use me for your own gratification and then send me away?" He wasn't going to let me talk if the conversation went down a path he didn't like.
"I'm not sending you away."
"Yet you know that I will not stay if you continue with these games. So why don't you drop that pretty little dress and come here, pet." His fists tightened at his side and I finally saw bits of the anger creep through. He tried not to express it, to not give into it and drown it with sex instead. And I wanted him. I wanted to give that to him.
I don't know why I didn't. Instead I stayed still, clutching at my dress.
"I'm not playing games, Loki." He turned his back on me, tensing every muscle in his body.
"All you did tonight was play games, Kaya." He spat my name out like it was a curse. With a flick of his wrist and a flash of green a chair appeared by him, looking suspiciously like his throne from the Great Hall. He took his time taking a seat, leaning arrogantly as he looked up at me. The darkness of the room made it hard to see him from so far away, but I could tell he was watching me. Waiting for me to do something. What that something was never came. Then his seiðr wrapped around me, so thick that it felt almost suffocating. Usually it was so calming and reassuring, but he remained so deeply angry that all it did was make my hair stand up. When it faded my dress had changed from the brilliant green to a deep red. My lips parted as I glanced up at him in shock.
"You can't be serious."
"Do you think I jest, pet? Am I not giving you what you wanted? You have both the dress and my interest."
"Loki..." He really wasn't making this easy.
"Here is what is going to happen, pet. You are going to kneel before me in that pretty red dress and tell me who you belong to. Then you are going to wrap your pretty little lips around my cock until I've had enough of them. Then I will bend you over this chair and fuck your cunt until you are screaming out my name for all of Asgard to hear."
His words made my cheeks heat and I felt myself throb in anticipation. I shouldn't be turned on by this. Nothing he was doing was healthy, but I longed for it in some sick and twisted way. I too was angry, and I needed an outlet for all of the rage he caused within me.
"And why should I do that?"
"Because you are mine and I've commanded you to. Because every second you stand there dressed like my brother's whore–" I was sick and tired of hearing people call me a whore. Especially as it came out of his mouth in such a tone.
"Amber." I spat out. "I am not some Prince's whore. Neither yours nor your brother's."
"Fine." He hung his head down, nervously rubbing his thumb over his palm. "Because I need you, Kaya. Because I require your submission, I require control and I am begging you not to push me further. I need... I need you to remember you are mine." All his words rang true to my ears.
"I'm not the one who seems to have forgotten."
"I need you, Kaya. Please don't make me beg."
"If I say no, will you leave?"
"I will not coerce you, Kaya. You know that. If that decision feels like coercion to you then I will stay. You may not demand the answers you seek but I will stay. We can pretend nothing has happened. We can talk about your training, about your studies, about anything else you wish. Or we can fuck until we forget why we feel so shit. The choice is yours."
Fuck it. I strided forward and knelt before him, keeping my eyes down on the red fabric around me. I heard the throne creak as he leant forward, putting a finger under my chin and tilting my head up. I didn't wait to hear whatever snarky and arrogant comment he had.
"I belong to you, your highness. You and only you. You can have me however you want, whenever you want and wherever you want, my Prince." I reached out to his trousers, but his spare hand stopped mine. The hand under my chin slowly cupped my cheek and his thumb stroked the skin. Instinctively, I leant into the gesture.
"Colour." He still cared, and that was more than worth fighting for. I thought about stopping it for a moment, but I knew that would be far worse in the long run. And I did want him, desperately. I was just worried that in the morning we would both regret it. But as I looked into his eyes I knew he needed this. It was far more than physical to him. He had to be truly desperate to need to dress me in red.
"Green." He didn't stick to his word. Instead, he brought his lips down to mine. His kiss was hungry and passionate, as if it had been years since we last kissed. The chair vanished as he left it, yanking at my body and forcing me to my feet. As he kissed me his hands ripped at my dress, the sounds of fabric tearing seemed to incite further roughness in him.
He pulled me into his arms and I wrapped my legs around him as he began to walk me into his bedroom. Something clicked inside me as his teeth sunk into my lips so hard a metallic taste spread across my tongue. To my surprise, and likely to his, I moaned out at the pain from it. His lips left mine and so I began to kiss his neck, nipping and biting at him as I pulled at his hair. He gasped at the pain and threw me onto his bed. The dress was still hanging from me in scraps, but that was too much for him, and he began tearing the rest of it off of my body.
"You don't belong in red. You belong in green and green alone." I wasn't strong enough to tear through Asgardian leather, so I settled for pulling it off of his body. When I reached for his trousers, his hands grasped my wrists and pinned them by my head.
"Please." I begged, as he placed a small bite on my cheek. I thrust my hips up to try to meet his and he laughed at my attempt.
"Not yet, pet. You don't deserve it." I decided I deserved much more. I pushed against his grip and in amusement he let my wrists go. With a smile, I locked my legs around him and brought my nails up his back roughly. When he gasped, I took his bottom lip in between my teeth. "Fuck it."
He pulled himself out of my grip before roughly turning me over and dragging me down the bed until my feet hit the floor. Leant over the bed, he put an arm around my pelvis and forced my ass up into the air. I could feel the flare of his seiðr behind him just before I felt his cock press against me. In one movement I could have exactly what I wanted, but he held my body still. He slid upwards towards my clit and back down, making it extremely obvious just how wet I'd become. Suddenly, he pulled my hair back, and then put his hand tight around my throat. It blocked off my air supply and I frantically moved my hips against him.
"Who do you belong to?" He stopped squeezing but kept his hand loosely around my throat. I gasped for air and moaned. He waited for me to speak, but I bit my lip and tried to move my hips. He spanked my ass once harshly in response. "Answer me."
"You. I belong to you." I gasped out, hoping he'd finally give me what I want, instead of teasing me by holding himself just slightly out of reach.
"Again."
"I'm yours, Loki. For now and forever." His breathing quickened at my words.
"That's right, pet. You are mine. You belong to me." With that said, he finally pushed himself into me. As expected, he fucked me hard and fast. He didn't take his time or strive for my pleasure exactly, instead just taking exactly what he needed from me. Roughly groping, grabbing, and biting my body as he did.
When we'd finally worn each other out, I collapsed onto his chest. He idly stroked my hair before pressing his lips in a small kiss on my head. I smiled into his skin as he did before pressing my own little kiss over his heart. Once I had, he took a deep breath in before wrapping his arms tightly around me. And for the first time in what seemed like forever, I completely relaxed. My exhausted body ached in the best way and bruises would likely litter my body in the morning. I had no doubt some of them would need to be healed before I dared to leave the room. My seiðr finally felt whole after days of him hiding away and keeping himself for me. At that moment I wasn't worried that I would consider this a bad idea in the morning. The truth was I'd missed his touch too intensely to truly care. Eventually, I finally succumbed to the best sleep I'd had on Asgard. I awoke in the morning to the light that filtered through the edges of the curtains warming my skin. I allowed myself to turn around, expecting to find his body lying on the bed beside me. Instead, my arm fell onto the mattress causing my eyes to open. I sat up on his bed, dragging the duvet over my body as I looked around the empty room. There was no Loki. Not even a trace of his seiðr. Time seemed to stand still as I allowed myself to wake up fully. I thought I had to be wrong. That at any second he would walk from his bathroom or suddenly appear with food for us. He wouldn't leave me in his bed after last night. But he would. And I didn't need to wait hours for him to come back to know that. I'd let his lies wash over me too willingly, ignoring everything I feared last night too readily. And for the first time with him, I felt like the growing void between us may never be healed.