|| December 24th ||
|| 11:45 am ||
Kiyoko’s POV
The smell of damp pine trees made the usually polluted air seem fresh and clean. I’m surprised with how quiet it is seeing as I could even hear my boots crunching in the frosty layer of snow. Normally, I would be at home with a cup of tea or hot chocolate at hand to warm up my cold hands.
Sigh.
My eyes caught sight of a family having a great time inside a very cozy looking cafe, though I don’t have any rights to feel this way, the radiant smiles on their faces makes me feel annoyed and queasy. I had no time to dawdle on such useless things like that, it sickens me to the core that even in this life, I can’t even have a good childhood. The only good thing that I’ve come across so far is meeting Baji Keisuke and Jeong-suk Yuri.
It would’ve been nice if I had met them in my first life.
“ If they did, then it would probably motivate me to live a longer life “ I muttered under my breath, continuing my short walk to the Hospital where Keisuke resides for the meantime.
A wave of warm air immediately greeted me as soon as I entered the building. I shrugged off my coat since someone offered to take them away for me. One of the trusted nurses I personally picked trotted over to me with a clipboard in her arms, a sense of urgency was hinted at her facial expression, “ It has been a while, I have a report to make regarding the patient you assigned me, “ she began to walk beside me whilst matching my pace, frantically fumbling with her clipboard.
“ We can talk about it later, I have to check on him first, “ I said, giving her a brief glance and walking to the last room with a diamond plaque above. The nurse—whom I recall was called Catherine—nodded on my words and opened the door for me with a slight bow.
THWACK!!
To think that a pillow would be the one to greet me first—that actually kinda hurts, I feel like my nose is gonna bruise from the impact. I stumbled a bit, the pillow fell to my feet as soon as I was backed to the door. Seriously, for someone who was injured, he sure is lively.
My eyes barely made contact with him but I could see the way he reached out his hand in concern, “ Nice throw, Keisuke, “ I said, “ but it would be nice to give me a heads up first “
He groaned, “ I wasn’t gonna aim at you, “ he turned to face away from me, eyebrows scrunched together with the prominent scowl on his face, “ They wouldn’t let me out, I feel like I’m gonna rot in this hellhole “ but now that I see it, rather than being annoyed, he was actually sulking.
Sigh.
I carefully made my way beside him, sitting in his warm duvet and feeling it sink down by my weight.
A small smile made its way to my face, carefully picking out the right words to tell him, “ Kei, I’m gonna consult the doctor if it's alright for you to take a walk in the garden but for now please be mindful of your injury, “ I said as softly as possible to him. I brought up my hand to caress his hair, so soft, kinda feels like I’m touching silk fabric, “ I don’t want you to overexert yourself, the sooner you get better, the sooner you’ll get out of here “
“ I don’t understand, Even Draken recovered faster than me and why are my legs affected even though I only got a stab wound? “ He complained. leaning into my touch discreetly.
I chuckled lightly at how he acted like a cat, “ The doctors said something about nerve damage, but I don't think it will be permanent. “ I said.
I always thought of ruining the story and reshaping it however I want it to be. I'd always daydream about punching Izana and Kisaki in the face, though that is a far-fetched dream for someone like me—but a reader is allowed to dream, isn't that right?
“ I have to go and talk to your doctor now, I’ll visit you again next time, and please don’t throw pillows at anyone next time “ I told, giving him a small peck on the hair and not giving him a time to say anything back as I hurriedly made my way out. Not missing how his face scrunched up in confusion and embarrassment.
How cute.
It’s best for him to stay still here where I can keep him safe at all costs. There is no need for him to fight Kisaki if it will take away his life.
" Are you free right now, Mx. L? " Catherine stood up straight, I wonder if her back hurts from standing or sitting straight like that.
I gave her a nod as we both silently walked to the elevator and went to the highest level, wherein my office that I rarely use is located.
I sat down at the throne-like seat that Hiroko designed for me, watching as Catherine also sat down and flipped through her papers like the dutiful nurse she is.
" Regarding Baji Keisuke's condition, it won't take him long enough to recover. Approximately 2 weeks from now he might be able to walk, " her news only soured my mood. Judging by how she fidgeted with her forefingers, she's aware of her mistake it seems.
Best nurse my ass. " Hey, do you think I'm paying you a hefty amount of money to give me this kind of garbage quality service? " I said, narrowing my eyes at her as she scrambled on her position.
" I—I apologize! I promise to do better! Please give me one more chance Mx. L! " She begged, bowing her head so low in front of me. Sweating profusely, prolly afraid that I will order to get rid of her existence itself.
I'm not that cruel, sometimes. " I gave you a specific order and you failed to carry out that duty, do you see me as a joke Catherine? " I pressed on,
This is really pissing me off. Brain dead people like her remind me of Hanagaki Takemichi who can't take a hint and it's pissing me off with how I got dragged into this mess. Everything pisses me off, everything's being a bitch.
" This is your last chance, do your job properly and do your tasks correctly. Do you understand? " She nodded at my words, though I could still see her hands tremble. " Words Catherine, do I need to repeat myself every single time? " I said harshly like I was scolding a child who didn't listen.
" I understand Mx. L, thank you for giving me a chance " she replied meekly with her head tilted down. I merely huffed at her reply, she's lucky that her face kinda reminds me of Yuri, otherwise I would've fired her already.
" Increase the amount of medicine, but not enough to kill him, got it? " I ordered, " Make sure that it will take him at least 3 months to walk on his own feet. "
The longer it takes for him to recover, the safer he'll be. I won't let him leave, not until Takemichi fixes his time-leaping problems.
It's almost time for the final act of Black dragon arc. Is it wrong for me to feel uneasy? Maybe I'm being way too paranoid, after what happened to Keisuke—I don't know what kind of plot will kill him next.
I don't want him to die—nor even get hurt to the point that he has become bedridden.
Being alone all those years, trapped in a cage like some animal—would you have blamed me for being this cruel to myself and them? Though I am surrounded with people I call friends like Yuri, Emma and Mikey—Keisuke will always manage to outshine them in terms of my priority list.
I finally found him after years.
A sudden memory popped into my head, the one where he told me his honest feelings—something that I didn't return. If I didn't really care that much for him, why am I doing all of these?
Do I desire him because I need him or Do I desire him because I want him?
At this moment, I jerked away from my thoughts that were turning in a way without light. My hand clutched on my chest to feel the sudden increase of my heartbeat.
The desire to have him because I want him got my heart racing a hundred miles.
" Tangina " I cursed, a wry smile appearing on my lips, " Have I gone crazy? " My mouth felt dry, I can't believe I'm having such thoughts.
Third Persons' POV
Kiyoko doesn't know how to describe her feelings, except for the fact that she feels disgusted with herself. Having to realize that she's merely obsessed with the idea of having Baji Keisuke—vaguely reminded her of a certain four eyed antagonist.
I’m not like him—I’m not like that piece of shit. Kiyoko chanted in her head, forcing her to engrave the thought for life.
“ Kiyoko-chan? Are you okay? “ A familiar voice snapped Kiyoko out of her thoughts, craning her head up with a frown etched on her face. “ Emma? “
Emma kneeled in front of Kiyoko, quickly taking notice of the strain in her voice which betrayed the rather calm look on her face. She scrunched her eyebrows worried, scanning her for any sight of injury. “ What happened? “
Kiyoko instantly recognized the look of pity Emma gave her, which in turn, made her skin crawl with agitation. Those honey-like eyes greatly remind her of Sui. She refused to meet her eye, mayhaps afraid that the emotion behind her eyes would be too raw and true for anyone to see. To someone as prideful as Kiyoko, showing her vulnerability was only shown to people she doesn’t plan on letting go. And sadly, Emma wasn’t one of them.
“ I’m fine, just tired of walking, “ Kiyoko stated, standing up as she dusted off the non-existent dirt on her coat, “ Don’t worry ‘bout it “
Emma chose to ignore the way Kiyoko avoided her gaze and the blatant lie she just spoke of; she was well aware of the boundaries between them, although, sometimes she wishes that it didn’t—never existed at all. Even if she was the cause, it still hurt her.
The blonde girl pursed her lips in a thin line, biting the inside of her cheek as she tried to give Kiyoko a small sincere smile, putting aside the piercing pain she feels. She stood up abruptly, a giggle escaped her lips as Kiyoko jolted at her sudden movement.
No words were needed to be said, Kiyoko eventually chuckled at Emma’s weird antics as Emma watched how Kiyoko’s Eyes crinkled like a crescent, lips curling up in amusement—-just like how they were before.
Emma felt the wave of nostalgia hit her, a small recall of the first time they met replayed in her head like an old film. She was supposed to be her best friend, the one she’d talk about boys and school and random stuff. Jeong-suk Yuri’s place was supposed to be hers.
“ Do you have any plans for today? Wanna hang out for a bit? “ The blonde girl said, Kiyoko only hummed in response as she gestured for Emma to lead the way. “ Can’t stay out for too long though, I have to be home by 8 “ She replies, a puff of cold breath escaping her lips.
The cold breeze of December made Kiyoko feel sick with all the bright decorations and lights. Both of them walked in silence, albeit awkward, Emma would prefer this rather than being ignored for just another blonde girl who looks quite like her.
“ How’s grandpa Sano? “ Kiyoko started. Surprising Emma.
“ He’s still running the Dojo, I told him not to anymore you know—-he has back problems but he wouldn’t listen and keeps on saying that the Dojo keeps him young and strong “ Emma babbled on with a fond look on her face, a lovely smile decorating her glossed lips.
Kiyokos’ laugh made Emma feel like she accomplished a great feat. “ That’s so like him, I guess stubbornness is a family trait huh,” She states with a small hint of teasing in her tone.
“ I guess so, “ She giggles uncontrollably, ducking her head to hide the wide smile on her face.
An empty bench caught Kiyoko’s attention, though the park seems to lack people, it was good for her. Both of them sat, the cold seat didn’t bother them a bit, Emma even leaned and craned her neck to look at the cloudy sky.
“ Are you really okay, Kiyoko? “Emma asked, “ Yes, I am, “ Kiyoko affirmed.
The blonde girl gave her a side eye, before looking back at the sky. The mood also seemed to significantly drop at the moment she decided to ask her, “ I’m also your friend, you can rant to me and I will listen, “
“ I already told you I was fine. There is no need for you to worry about me, “ Kiyoko said, “ Don’t meddle in my problems, I can do them myself “ She continued.
Emma could only think about how the situation would progress if Yuri was the one to ask her, would she be this mad? Would she have told her? Of course—without a doubt she would tell Yuri about her worries and problems. But she’s trying to fix their friendship slowly, but by the looks of it, she’s the only one who was making an effort.
“ I know you’re still probably mad about that time but I was—” Her words were cut off when Kiyoko broke the arm resting area of the bench by gripping it too tightly, the wide eye stare that Kiyoko gave her made goosebumps appear on her skin. Not even December could beat the cold warning in her silvery blue eyes.
“ I told you before, I’m not mad anymore. Stop bringing up what happened in the past—it’s annoying and it makes me uncomfortable, “ Kiyoko says, trying to control the underlying anger that boils within the depths of her heart.
Emma was afraid, but not afraid enough to stop her from proceeding. She hardened her face, trying to fight back the tears, she wanted her place back and if angering Kiyoko again is the only way then so be it, “ Then if it’s in the past—why haven’t you moved on yet? You’re still affected by what happened back then that’s why you’re mad at me! “ she yelled.
“ I killed your brother. You are aware of this fact and I don't understand why you're still insistent on making everything how it was before. Stop bringing up the past Emma. " Kiyoko pressed on as she stood up. Blood dripped on the cold surface, but she only grabbed her wounded hand harder to control her emotions.
Kiyoko took a moment to regain her composure, the usual bored look finally adorned her face by the time she opened her eyes. " Let's stop talking about this, We can't go back to how it was before. And you're just gonna make things worse if you continue this nonsense of yours. "
Emma looked down, hiding tears of frustration from Kiyoko's view, her lips wobbling as shaky breaths began to escape her throat like a bunch of thorns. " I didn't—I didn't mean to blame you that time, I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt Shinichiro nii-san—he was also very special to you! " Emma explained.
But Kiyoko had heard the same thing again and again and again. Of course it killed her inside when Emma deliberately called her a monster and a criminal who takes advantage of other people just because she was privileged. Emma was her first friend—and the person who taught her several great things about life.
I pulled off Shinichiro-sans' life support because I wanted someone to accompany Suiran in death. Kiyoko thought, “ I killed him on purpose. Even if I have a reason for it, nonetheless, I still killed him. I don't wish to be forgiven either, so don't get too friendly with me. " She said with the same passive aggressive tone from the start. Emma knew that Kiyoko had already given up at this point, she just didn't want to admit it.
Emma's tears fell, as her body trembled when sobs broke out from her lips. It hurt.
It hurts.
If this continues she's gonna lose Kiyoko, she's gonna lose her place as her confidant, her rightful place as a best friend.
But she was a Sano for a reason, giving up doesn't really exist in their dictionary.
Her face scrunched up in annoyance as she stood up abruptly, glaring at Kiyoko, " Even though I'm going as far as to do this for me—for us you're still being ungrateful! I'm doing my best to fix this stupid friendship of ours and yet you're being—you're being such a bitch! "
Her voice was hoarse and her vision was blurry from all the tears that gathered in her eyes. Kiyoko stood in silence at her outburst, she knew full well that humans tend to lose their rationality during an emotional outburst but that doesn't mean the words they yell out aren't true. Words that we speak out of anger are words that also come from the depths of our unfiltered defense mechanism.
Because anger is defending the feelings. That's just how it is.
" I hate this—I hate you " Emma cried, falling back to the bench as she sat slowly with her knees up to rest her forehead on.
As you should. Kiyoko solemnly thought.
" We can still be friends, but I can't treat you the same as I did before, " Kiyoko said monotonously. Staring at Emma for a few seconds before turning around to leave.
" I have to make sure that I keep my promise with Shinichiro-san " her words could've fixed everything, but alas, Emma was too occupied with the news she just heard, something she had been hoping to fix was beyond her capabilities.
Kiyoko walked away, blatantly ignoring the throbbing pain of her bleeding hand.
Her head was empty at this moment. She can't mess up, the act has to continue in order for them to survive. She let her feet take her to wherever it desired to, eventually finding herself standing in front of the old Bike shop she used to hang out in. Her favorite spot.
The building was rusty and full of mold, tapes everywhere to keep the glass windows together. Though, it wasn't the same as the inside that looked warm since she has been secretly taking care of the bike shop. The door sprang open, the raspy jingles of soft moldy bells echoed in the almost desolate street.
A tuft of sunflower blond hair entered her sight, emerald eyes glistening with worry and anger as he grabbed both of Kiyoko's shoulders, " Kiyoko! What happened? Who did this to you? " His voice sounded mad, clenching his jaw with a vein popping out like an irk mark.
She casted a glance upon him, wanting to reply as usual but the voice got caught up in her throat, so she opted to close her mouth in a thin line. Seishu lets go of her, focusing on how strikingly similar her eyes were to the day when Shinichiro and Sui were hospitalized. He didn't think twice to give her a hug, caressing the back of her head as a sign of him comforting her.
" It's alright, you don't have to say anything. I understand, come on first, it's cold out here " He assured, slowly dragging her inside the warm bike shop.
Seishu sat her down on one of the couches, draping a blanket over her shoulder as he hurriedly took off to somewhere only to come back quickly with a first aid kit in his hand. He wasn't skillful at this, since Koko was usually the one who would patch him up. But at least he tried his best.
Kiyoko was merely staring off to the wall, an unreadable expression decorated her face. Seishu concluded that she was in the middle of a trance, thinking that perhaps she remembered another traumatic event in her life.
" I had a talk with Emma, " she started, the blond haired boy only humming as a sign that he was listening.
" But we fought instead. I did something unforgivable to her and her family, I don't understand her at all, " Kiyoko continued, " I don't want them to also get hurt, I must keep my promise "
' They mustn't get involved, I have to keep my promise with Shinichiro-san'. She always keeps on repeating these things, Seishu thought.
" ..... Some things are just out of human control, even if you try to explain it well to others, they wouldn't understand a thing if they're still stuck with the past. " He voiced out.
Kiyoko looked at him briefly before sinking down on the velvety couch, a sigh escaped her lips. Tired, frustrated and beyond agitated with the amount of effort she has to make in order for them to believe her lies.
" I guess so, it depends on the person after all. Even if the truth is already laid out in front of them, they still tend to look the other way and ignore reality. " She hums,
Which truth would they believe in anyway?