Ryan freaking Saunders.
He couldn't believe it. He was supposed to be family with Michael.
That idea made his stomach turn.
He was lying in his bed, hours after he found out, but the shock never left. He didn't tell Angie, even when she asked him if something happened on their way home. And he certainly didn't confide in his parents for several reasons. So right now, he was lost in his own head, trying to deal with it.
Evan knew Ryan. Well, knew was a harsh word. He met him a few times (North Hallson really wasn't that big of a town) but never really talked to him. Still, he knew exactly who he was and where to find him. Not that he wanted to find him.
Ryan Saunders was Michael's younger cousin. He didn't live in North Hallson, but he liked to visit his cousin often. They were close, acting like best friends, which made Evan dislike him too. He had no real reason to have a conflict with him, but also no real reason to want to get to know him better. At least until now.
For some reason, when Evan tried to imagine him, he knew exactly what he looked like. Oddly, he remembered every little detail. Was it because deep down he knew he was his mate or was he finally losing my mind? He had no idea, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw his dark eyes in front of him.
With his black curly hair, dark brown eyes that looked almost black, and full lips Ryan Saunders looked almost like a god. He wasn't exactly Evan's type (judging by comparing him to Kieran) but he had to admit he was gorgeous. If he remembered correctly, he was the same height as him when he saw him last time. That was about a year ago, but how much could he change in a year?
Evan himself didn't change at all. At least, that's how he felt. He grew his hair a little, so his once short hair was now almost covering his eyes, and he stopped shaving the sides of his head, so now his hair was a fluffy mess. But that was it. He secretly had his ear pierced but was too scared to wear an earring. He did at first, he wasn't an idiot and didn't want to get an infection, but the stress of always making sure his hair covered his ear was too much for him. So basically, he was still the same Evan he was before he fully turned, 11 or 16, age didn't matter.
Nothing changed. Nothing changed for years.
That thought was haunting him, telling him how pathetic he was being afraid of everything and everyone. He couldn't deal with it anymore. He felt rage building inside of him. The same one he felt all those years of hearing different versions of how Riley left him.
Evan grabbed the first thing he saw and smashed it against the wall. It felt good. It felt right. It was something, and he wanted to feel it again. He was finally expressing the emotions that had been scratching at his mind for so long trying to escape the cage that Evan had locked them in. The same cage he felt like he was in every day.
In a fit of anger, he started to tear all the drawings from his walls. They represented pieces of his soul, the chaos he carried inside him that escaped for a moment and imprinted itself on paper. Evan had no idea why he even put them up on the wall for everyone to see. It was something he tried to escape from and at the same time, surrounded himself with. It didn't make sense, and Evan hadn't seen it until now.
Soon his room looked as messy as his mind was.
Something inside him broke. Finally, he had enough. All those stupid bits of advice, forbiddance, and rules of how the proper wolf should behave, it was playing in his head like a broken record. And it sounded just like his family members. Not only his parents but also his uncle and aunt. Evan remembered well the sound of their voices the day they told him that Riley had run away from home. Evan never blamed him. The only thing he regretted was that Riley didn't take him with him. His favourite cousin left him in the chaos that represented their family.
He focused on the chaos he created and felt somehow proud. Because he made it. He had the courage. He disobeyed. Evan wanted more. So much more. Not only from life, but also from his family.