I can't even think straight. Everything is a mess. Literally everything, I've destroyed everything in my way.
I look around my room.
There's glass on the floor, wood from broken tables and nightstands, clothes on the floor, broken jewelry.
I thought I was doing everything right. So many people leave. I haven't heard from anyone since I've gotten back to my apartment.
Did Jaxon tell Journey? Did he tell her to leave me alone? Did he tell her to let me heal? Why hasn't she called? What hasn't she came to see me? And Janice, the most nosiest person alive, hasn't even called me.
What am I doing? What can I do? I can't model anymore. I can't be someone's person anymore. I don't even know what kind of person I'm becoming.
Another sob leaves my mouth before I stand, intending on leaving the room but gasping as glass shards pierce my feet, causing me to fall forward, falling in more glass.
I cry out in pain. Which pain? Pain of the last person I thought was going to leave me, leave or the glass shards piercing through my skin?
I should get up, clean my cuts and my room but I don't. Instead, I curl to my side before closing my eyes, letting everything disappear.
Just for a moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waking up, I look around confused.
How did I get in the floor?
I wince as I sit up, I was laying on the side that my sling was on, leaving my shoulder sore, along with my entire body.
I see the blood and everything comes back crashing down like a damn brick hitting me in my head.
Jaxon...glass...throwing anything and everything...
I bite the inside of my cheek, not letting myself cry over him. I can't stay in my pity party anymore. I've got things to do, projects to finish before my last show.
So I stand, quickly sitting on my bed to pluck the glass out of me feet. I don't pause long enough for the pain to take affect on my body or mind.
I grab the pair of slippers by my bed before going to the bathroom to finish cleaning and plucking glass out of my skin.
I sigh, heavily when I finish. Holding my body up with the hold of my hands on the counters, looking at myself in the mirror.
I can't shower yet because of the stitches but damn, I look rough. I'm not going to go into detail because if I do then I might cry and I'm done crying. I've spent three weeks crying.
I walk to my kitchen to grab a broom and dustpan before going back to my room and cleaning everything back up.
I'll get new stuff soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happened to you?" Janice exclaims with a worried look as she looks me up and down.
"Car accident." I lie, shrugging my one good shoulder. "Um, let's sit."
She nods and I take a seat.
"Has Journey called you?" I ask, glancing at the table.
"No?"
I'm almost surprised that Journey didn't call. I thought she'd be excited to spend more time with Kane and her family.
It might be because I've almost called quits a couple of times before and told her to plan my last walk and never go through with it, but I'm not excited about the call I'll be getting from her when she hears about the news from Janice.
"My last walk will be at the Christian Delroy show in New York on May the first." I inform her, watching as her mouth drops open.
"What? Why?" She asks with a mixture of shock and concern.
"I've sustained some injuries that will leave scarring and it's best to end it now then to torture myself to get hired." I explain vaguely.
The sad part is I was willing; willing to end my career and focus on what was important to me. Jaxon and our wedding, the future; I was ready for it.
"Karlie, I-I don't even know what to say. You've spent the last 4 years doing this. I'm glad you told me this in person, I would've hunted you down if you said this over the phone." She jokes.
"I know." I chuckle lightly. "It's time for something new, a different setting." I tell her, tapping the table with my pointer finger.
"Well, best of luck to you and I can't wait to see the beautiful babies you and Jaxon are going to make. Let me know if you need anything, anything at all and I'll be there." She says, standing to give me hug as I do the same.
I don't bother on correcting her. It'll start a whole spiral of talking I don't want or need.
"I will." I mumble into the huff before patting her back and leaving the room.
New beginning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to think I did pretty good for myself. I worked hard for everything I own and the money I earned.
I went to the bank to figure out a plan, only to learn the actual amount of money I have. I'm set for the future, vacations, kids, everything and anything.
I shouldn't have learned about that because now, I want to be no where but a beach. A warm, cool breeze beach.
My phone startles me as I look for new furniture on my computer. I need to replace the ones I've broken.
"Hello?"
"Holy shit, you actually did it."
"I told you I would."
"I didn't think you were actually serious! What were you thinking?"
"Journey, I'm starting to get a headache. Stop screaming. I don't have to give anyone a reason. Just know I'm done and I'm going to a beach. You should take a vacation also. You worked so hard."
"You saw it, didn't you?"
"Saw what?"
"Go look at CNN."
She whispers her last words before hanging up. I look at my phone stunned before searching up CNN.
What is so bad about what they posted? Oh no. Please tell me they didn't take any pictures of me while I look like this. My hair is greasy and I'm a disgusting mes-
'Jaxon Cole and Chelsea Mitchell at the Viande et Trucs!!'
There's a picture of Chelsea laughing with Jaxon's arm around her waist at this fancy restaurant.
He didn't. He didn't just do that. Please, tell me this is all a lie or a trick. Maybe my eyes are deceiving me. I have been crying for weeks. My vision must be messed up because there is no way Jaxon went on a date with Chelsea. Please tell me he didn't move on while I've been a wreck.
My chin trembles as I throw my phone, pulling my computer to my lap too but the first ticket out of this country.