One week later
Volkan's point of view
Pulling of the black T-shirt, I threw it on the bed, along with a waist bag and the hand gun I got stuck in my waist.
I stood along side the bed in a dark jeans pants and squint my eyes at the bright beaming of the sun.
The sun has rise.
I walked over to my dresser and remove a cigarette from a pack. I grabbed the lighter and lit it.
"Ah," I said, as it flows back through my nostrils. I pulled the curtain apart and allow my eyes to adjust to a brighter bedroom.
My door suddenly slam shut and I almost burned myself with the cigarette due adrenaline.
"Where are you coming from?"
Akim,Akim,Akim
I closed my eyes for a millisecond and took a draw on my precious cigarette.
Oh my precious cigarettes, cigarette my baby
Why the fuck did she have to wear that?!
Akim stood before me with a sleepy look on her face. It's either she have slept or she haven't slept a blink. It's hard to tell with her eyes dropping like that. She wears a light long pink nightgown, with long sleeves, one that shows open cleavage. Her hair plats in a long braid down her back, baby hair loosen to frame her face.
I turn my back to her only to turn around to see where she stood next. She always have a soft foot step, except when she is angry. She stood next to the bed and eyed the gun.
"Where have you been Volkan?"
This is going to be fun
I fold my arm and spread my legs in a relax stand.
"Out killing the feelings I had for you."
I watched her face fall but only for a mere second.
"With a gun?"
"Yes, now could you exit my room? Talat gave you your own guest room, what are you doing in here?"
I want her out of my room, just the sight of her, and wanting to touch her, plus the image of her kissing Talat; it's giving me a headache.
"Get out! Please leave," Look what she had discovered of me; am now barking like a dog. Am basically a dog these days. I snap like one, I hardly sleep like one, I'm up and about the city like one.
I out the cigarette in a Ash tray and grab a white short and red shirt from the hanger in the closet. I grab my laptop from the night table and set it on the bed. I'm preparing myself for a shower so and there is no way I want her in here with me.
I have the file for Talat and I need to give it to him personally before he disappears. He has been moving like a vampire lately. I only get to see him at night times. He is gone the whole day, even grandma is worried. I'm wondering if it has something to do with that redhead, but I've done my homework and even she haven't seen him. She haven't seen him in one week and she haven't set foot in here in one week.
Women and their pride, they will only know what they have when they loose it
I swung the clothes over my shoulder and grab a underpants from the dresser draw.
I pulled the bottom of my pants and made a attempt to pull it off my waist but then I looked up. There she is, still in here. Looking at me. Normally I have no problem changing in front of her, why would I have had any when we were fucking? We are not fucking anymore.
"Don't stare at me like am your favorite thing in the world-"
"But you are, Volkan-" her voice crack and I grit my teeth. No tears, no fucking tears. I'm the one that should be bwaling my eyes out.
"Akim. Please, I need to shower," am holding up my pants with one hand and am standing one step from her.
Her fingers slightly brushed my hair from face. I badly need a hair cut, this way she won't touch me so close to my face anymore. Her fingers slightly grazed my cheeks. It's not even supposed to be sexual but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel anything In My spine. I grip her forearm with my free hand and slightly, harmlessly, push her to the door.
"I've Missed you Volkan."
"Not everything is about sex, you miss my sex? Go and have sex with someone else."
I tower over her five-five figure and look into her eyes. Those eyes. Shit. This is so wrong.
"I miss more than just sex. I miss you holding me, I miss playing cards with you, I miss those moments we spent watching horror movies together."
Spell, it's is some sort of spell that she has over me
"Didn't those memories mean something to you?"
Memories flashes through me and all it does is makes me feel down. Am not supposed to be down. Look at that beautiful morning sun. Feel that beautiful morning sun. It's supposed to be a beautiful sunny morning.
"To be honest, I wish I could remove those memories, remembering something that will drain my energy is seriously not worth it."
I've just cracked her. Her eyes filled with tears and I had to look away. Akim hardly ever cries. Why now? This is guilt.
"I'm sorry for intruding your morning," she slowly removes my now hesitating fingers from her arm and walk out. I stood at the entrance of the door and watched her go to her room, across the coming up of the second stairs.
"What the fuck have I done?"
I held my pants up and walked towards her door. I raised my fist about to knock.
What am I doing?
I've never been more confused. My heart feels so heavy in my chest that I can hardly breathe. I rest my forehead on her door and tell myself to breathe.
Third person's point of view
Akim slides down the door and held her hand over her mouth as silent tears streaks down her cheeks. She remembers how sincere Volkan had sounded.
"To be honest, I wish I could remove those memories, remembering something that will drain my energy is seriously not worth it."
It hurts her to the cure, because instead of blocking her memories, it causes her to remember everything.
All week, her life as been a boring routine. Her so call friends video calls her and it took everything in her not to break down in front of them. They all makes it worse by asking after Volkan.
"Where is that hottie you used to hang with?"
"Where is Blaze? You know the one who seems to have fire within him."
"Don't tell me you ditched Mr. fuck already."
He had been her true friend. Her Mr. fuck. They had been toxic half the time but for once she thinks this time is the last call. A cry leaves her throat, too bad she didn't know that Volkan had his hand on the doorknob about to make a twist but changed his mind.
Caroline's point of view
"Not like that, Matilda stop joking around, this is serious."
Matilda lay half naked on her belly. A green leaf for a skirt, Wires on her head for a crown, her skin glowes as she posed one leg in the air. She looks like a forest queen. Make up on set.
"Oh my God, this not going to work. Am not feeling it anymore," I sighed. We have been outside since sunrise under a wide tent, in the front of the mansion. Who would thought, I would be free like this.
"Finally! Thank Jesus and the Lord," Matilda groan and I couldn't help but laugh. This has indeed been funny.
"Let's call Daddy next and have pose like a woman," She said and I held my side in laughter.
She grabs on one the spare T-shirt I had given her and ran off inside to bother Dad, no doubt.
I thought it would work. I've done so much work, I've put in so much effort in the past two days. The rest of the days had been family time. Dave had chosen a favorite; no other that my precious Matilda here. He had tried to get to know me but am kind of cold up. A cold Turkey not to be modest. He'll try and get under my skin any chance he gets though, but my mind had been somewhere else. On someone else.
That's just it. I want my main topic to be Talat along with nature. I want natural photos like: beach, flowers, sunset, crimes, I want Talat in it on a whole. I need him, otherwise am not feeling this whole photographer thing.
He said I should let him in, and I have done just that. I've think about him, he had been in my mind 24/7 . I wondered if he had eaten. Where is he? Where have he been?
"Are you okay?" I look up to see Dave, in a black outfit.
"Yes, am fine," I lowered my gaze and start packing up packets of empty snacks.
"No, you are not, who is it?"
Oh no, not the protection
"It's no one."
"What's his name?"
I try to think of something, anything that would end this conversation.
"We are not together, all he has ever done for me is good and now he just disappears. He is not okay and he doesn't want me to help him."
Oh, God, I sound pathetic
"I don't even know where he is."
I heard him sigh, and I take that as a relief.
"What's his name?"
"Does his name matter? He knows where I live and he haven't even stop by."
"Have you stopped by his place?"
I looked up at him, looking down on me and my heart, it did something weird. Acceptance. I've accepted him as my brother. I never knew what it feels like to be cared for by a man otherwise from Dad and here I am getting it from him. Talat tried to show me. He tried to be there for me and I haven't even visit him.
"Hum, am going to call a friend over . Her name is Kimberly, could you assist her and Matilda to take up these for me?"
"Of course. I take that you haven't visit him either."
"No. Thank you so much for hum, what should I say? Unintentionally knocking me some sense," I got up and quickly peck him on the cheek and rush inside.
"If that's all it takes for you to see that am here no problem. I'll do it literally next time!" He shouts after me in his Australia accent. It's refreshing to hear.
I smile and rush up the stairs to take a shower. I saw Matilda been tickled by dad and I smiled.
"Caroline, help me, he is eating out my armpits! Caroline!" Her voice breaks away in laughter and I felt bright. I feel happy.
I need to find Talat. I need to show him that I can be happy too, even if it doesn't last long, I need to find him.
***
"Is he here?" I asked Volkan. He was standing on the door when I got here. He seems loaded with cigarettes. He has two behinds his ears and one in his fingers. He held up his hand to light it and my eyebrows knit together. He held a pack of cigarettes in his hand.
"Give that to me," I stretch my hands out .
"Excuse me?" His breath reaks achochol.
I swallowed. My heart skipped a beat at my braveness.
"I'm sorry, I have no right to come into your life and tell you how to live. I came here to see Talat but it seems like you are also no okay. Forget I said anything. Could I come inside?" Saying am nervous would be an understatement. Am almost shaking.
He step aside and I held my breath as I invade his personal space.
"You know, despite you just getting your six sense back to come here, I never met anyone else so good for him."
I turned around to look at him as he smokes.
"Let me tell you something, none of us that stays in this place is In Our right minds. Everyone of us is sick in here," he points to his head and pushed out his mouth in determination as if to convinced me.
A grin came on my lips in relief, he is not drunk. Just tispy.
"You think it's funny? I need to get away from here Caroline. Pardon I forgot your name for a while back. What am saying is, I want to go back to-" he hiccups. "Sorry, I want to leave here. Akim. Akim," His voice drops to a whisper. "Akim is hurting me."
Oh my god,
I learned somewhere that it takes a lot out of a strong man to talk about his hurt and to see him slowly burning himself out and yet still tells me, I feel it for him.
I cautiously step towards him and offerered him a hug. I hugged him to me, and wordlessly Pat him on the back.
"Alright, thanks. Hum- Talat is in his room, don't worry about me am great."
I nod my head and walked up the stairs, I looked down at Volkan, who gaves me a thumb up.
I knock and shove the door open.
There he is. Sitting on the floor, leaning on the bed, without a shirt in a black jeans. The thin gold chain rest on his chest and he wears his signature hair style. His hands spread between his legs and he removes a cigarette from his lips.
What's up with men and their cigarettes?
He looks like someone off a magazine cover, a bad hottie. I want to trail my hands up his body. I want to kneel and kiss him right there.
My heart thuds in my chest.
His eyes scans my body and suddenly I feel cautious in the burgundy dress that wore. For the first time in around two years, I've chose not to wear a pull over and a pants or anything too big. The dress is long sleeve and it hugs my body. A heart line shows a little cleavage and my hair caught in a updo. Light Make up and flat matching shoe, a small purse with a thin chain hung over my shoulders.
"Well, well, well."
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I had to stop. It's another long chapter.
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